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How ‘bout I call you?

September 22, 2011 by Rosa Say

For the last three weeks I’ve been working on a project with someone who uses the telephone for nearly all our communication. Occasionally his call is to ask if he can drop by, because he’s in the neighborhood working on another project.

He breaks most stereotypes, for he’s young, has an iPhone and Gmail address, designed and maintains his own website, but he prefers to call, and to talk. He considers texting to be unprofessional, and he won’t ever email unless it’s off-hours and he’s pretty sure I’m waiting for an answer of some kind. If I email him, I know the phone will ring as soon as he reads whatever I had sent, so he can answer me that way instead. I asked him if he engages with social media, and his response was, “You’re kidding, right?” To be completely honest, I’m still not sure if that meant yes or no.

The punchline to this short story? Though way, way out of my comfort zone, and likely to be a one-shot deal (we’re working on a construction project together) this has been one of the most enjoyable projects I’ve worked on in a long, long time.

I’ve come to notice just how much person-to-person or voice-to-voice communication with this person has added to the entire experience, because neither of us opts for making it techno-efficient. Most of the work we accomplish happens as we converse.

We take the time to talk, and it’s not that much more in terms of the time we add, but it’s exponentially more in what we achieve. Those little adds share more with each other, often simply in being that ‘more’ you cushion information with when speaking with each other in real time — we used to call it ‘civility.’ Our social graces in conversation have become a huge factor in the overall project experience, so much so, that I keep asking myself — why oh why have I been so quick to give up on the telephone in favor of email?

Let me say again, that this is a construction project. I’m not coaching him, and we’re not having tea and crumpets — we’re solving problems, stressing through building codes, permits, supply irregularities and labor issues.

As odd as it may sound, I’m rediscovering the wonder of the telephone.

Can we talk?

In the archives: On the Art of Civilized Conversation

Want different? Be a Squeaky Wheel

February 10, 2009 by Rosa Say for Say “Alaka‘i”

You’ve heard that saying, haven’t you? The one that goes, “it’s the squeaky wheel which gets the grease.” It can be said in a not-too-favorable manner, when we refer to others who are whiners and complainers, or those who are the loud and verbal ones, always seeming to crave more attention than what normally is thought of as reasonable to the rest of us.

How about if we get squeaking to be a good, positive thing ”“ more like squeaky clean and crystal clear. Put any other negative connotations aside, and think about adopting wheel squeaking as one of your new attention-grabbing strategies, intended to bring feel-good stories and better ideas to the light of day, getting them to be better seen and heard. Squeak to share an optimistic outlook. Squeak to improve workplace health. Squeak to improve community health.

You see, “It’s the squeaky wheel which gets the grease” also happens to be true way more often than not: It’s a truism you can be taking better advantage of.

Why? Well-greased wheels are those which get the most immediate results.

Fact is, squeaking gets heard

The recession we are in is turning into what I think of as ‘the R word.’ Yes, it is very real, and very distressing. However people are getting very tired of hearing and talking about it. There is a sentiment which pops up in my telephone conversations and coaching sessions with nearly daily frequency, which goes something like this:

“We keep hearing that things are going to get far worse before they get better; how are we supposed to recession-proof our spirit when all we hear on the news and in the media is more doom and gloom? How will we ever get consumer confidence back when our pessimism consistently turns anyone with an extra dollar to spend into a newly-frugal hoarder? There are silver linings; there is some good news about great things which are happening too; why don’t we hear more about those things?”

I think it’s a valid concern. Overbearing amounts of negative news is a real downer, and I prefer having a more positive expectancy of the future too. My question however, is this: Are you speaking up, and making your voice heard, so those who give us “the news and [what we hear] in the media” hear your ‘squeaking’ and give you some grease?

I have yet to meet anyone who is a great mind reader, even when we think that something is “so totally obvious.” Chances are that what you might think of as obvious isn’t squeaking loudly enough for anyone to notice.

And the grease? It’s attention

I must say that I feel for journalists and news reporters; they are just as busy as the rest of us, doing all they can to keep up —and keep afloat. They are in the unfortunate position of playing defense, responding to the loudest squeaks more than having the time and luxury of doing comprehensive, uncover-every-angle investigative reporting. They are getting their labor dollars trimmed too, and traditional newspapers in particular are wondering if they will have any future at all. They respond to the squeaks they hear with greatest frequency, and most of them right now happen to be R-word negatives.

As a blogger, I can empathize with the frustration that comes from rarely hearing from those in your audience you truly wish would speak up for a change: I get tired of deleting all the comments from spammers and trolls hiding behind pen names, yet I make sure I review them carefully to be sure some valid comment from a concerned reader has not gotten lost in the shuffle. Problem is, shared opinions are much more infrequent, whether in agreement or contrary to mine; there are rarely healthy debates, positive suggestions ”“ or even the request for me to report more positive news.

Said another way, I cannot ‘hear’ what you might be thinking, and are not brave enough to speak up and actually say. And if you don’t give me feedback on what you want me to write about, I do my own thing, assuming that what you might want just isn’t that important to you as my agenda is to me.

Attention is paid so the squeaking stops —or to champion it! Then, attention gets shifted to where new squeaking has cropped up somewhere else. If you don’t ‘squeak’ and let me hear from you, you will not get my attention. I’m guessing that all the other people who deliver the news to you are in the same boat I’m in. Quiet non-responsiveness happens here on the blog, it happens in other media, it happens in your workplace, and it happens around your dinner table at home. I’d bet there are a lot of people who would love to hear you speak up; they’d love to reciprocate, and bounce their ideas off you too.

So start squeaking

If you want different in your world, and getting the ‘different’ doesn’t seem to be in your sphere of influence alone, say so. Get the attention of other influencers you want in your corner. Speak up. Use that voice you have, putting it to good use. Share your positive outlook and tell us about your ideas (I know you have them). Get your positive, good-news squeaks to drown out the negatives which come from all the Bad News Bears.

You can team up, and don’t have to go it alone. As some very savvy person observed, “the caveman who invented the wheel was pretty smart, but the one who put four of them together was brilliant.”

Small squeaks are things like private emails and telephone conversations: Small audience, small result. Bigger squeaks commanding much more attention, are things like blog comments and conversations, letters to the editor, and best of all, getting your workplace to adopt community initiatives that are news-worthy. Bigger audience, bigger result.

And then there is the immensely squeaky new forum called social media. If you’ve read this far you are no stranger to the internet, to blogs, and very likely have heard of programs like LinkedIn and Twitter where you can systematically create your own virtual community of like-minded voices, who share your interests and want the same kind of change that you do. Your voice can become exponential, and globally supported.

So tell me, what exactly are you waiting for? What is holding you back?

Let’s talk about it, and get past any obstacles you perceive. Start squeaking, and let me hear from you.

On Thursday: Bring Hawai‘i to the Workplace by ‘Talking Story’


~ Originally published on Say “Alaka‘i” ~
Want different? Be a Squeaky Wheel.

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