Talking Story

Starting new conversations in the workplace!

  • Rosa’s Books
  • ManagingWithAloha.com
  • RosaSay.com

We see what we want to see

March 8, 2012 by Rosa Say

“We do not see with our eyes. We see with our brains” What we see is only what our brain tells us we see, and it’s not 100 percent accurate.”
— John Medina, Brain Rules
— and my Dad, a coupla decades earlier: Can you see with your ears?

And we feel what we’re meant to feel

“For too long, people have disparaged the emotional brain, blaming our feelings for all of our mistakes. The truth is far more interesting. If it weren’t for our emotions, reason wouldn’t exist at all” When we are cut off from our feelings, the most banal decisions became impossible. A brain that can’t feel can’t make up its mind.”
— Jonah Lehrer, How We Decide

Initially, vision can trump all other senses

Most people flying into our Keahole Kona airport here, on the west side of the Big Island, are surprised in a rather unsettling way. They hope they haven’t made a mistake.

The approach to the coast is fairly barren, and the airport runway is surrounded by the stark nothingness of black lava fields and ugly invasive fountain grass. The lava plain is fairly new in geographical measurement (1801); greenery hasn’t seeded and rooted in any triumphant way yet.

If you’re a returning resident, it’s secretly fun to watch the faces of first time visitors peering out the windows. You can see them thinking, “But this is Hawai‘i! Where are the coconut trees? Where are the flowers? Isn’t this the tropics?”

It’s secretly fun because you know what will happen: We who live here are happy for them, and for the experiences we know they’ll soon have.

I always want to tell them, “You’ll see, just be patient.”

And I want to coach them: “Once we land, be a courageous explorer. Go off the beaten track, and get lost in the feelings here. Converse with the locals, and ask them to share their aloha with you. Talk story. Share yours too.”

Swirling turbulence

To us, this landscape is beautiful. It’s not barren at all. As the maxim goes, “Looks are deceiving.”

The Big Island is the kind of place you have to explore further, so you can learn about it more fully. Once you do, feelings tug pretty quickly, and quite deeply. You fall in love, and you fall in love hard. To do otherwise doesn’t seem possible.

But that’s okay, for you no longer want it to be otherwise. Feeling deeply is wonderful.

It’s the same thing as when you feel the Calling of Alaka‘i Managemeant.

You’ve got to explore that calling, digging deeper, and allowing it to get personal.
You’ve got to make connections with the people who surround you — especially with those you work with, and doubly, triply so with those you are supposed to ‘manage.’

If you can open up, and allow yourself to get a little vulnerable, you discover all kinds of things in the partnerships you create.

Thank you for reading Talking Story. If this sounds good to you, you’re in the right place. Start digging for the calling of Alaka‘i here, and for managemeant here. You need not go too far back.

You might like this one too: The instinctive, natural selection of wanting

Purchase Managing with Aloha at Amazon.com in hardcover, or in the Kindle Store.

Model Me This

April 20, 2010 by Rosa Say for Say “Alaka‘i”

We took a look at business models last week:

  • Revamping your Business Model? Enjoy the Study
  • How Alaka‘i Managers get work to Make Sense

” and I got an email asking,

“Mission, vision, or goals Rosa, which is more important? I think I’ve got too much in my model, and I want to make it simpler. I know all three can be important, but which one will be my trump card?”

Which one sets your heart on fire? That’ll likely be your trump card.

There’s little use having a model you’d get an “A” for in some business course — including one of mine, because those are get-your-training-wheels places that at best, will steady you in your seat. The models you study get your thoughts somewhat less random when you’re wondering where to start, or what to kick-start next. The truly good stuff will be in the detail peculiar to you that you never edit out because you want it so badly.

I’m a fan of models because they keep me organized once I’ve already identified what the one thing is I want to build: They’re directional. They point me in the right direction, but in my heart of hearts, I know what I want to find once I arrive there: I want to arrive at a supremely productive, deliriously happy and healthy workplace culture.

So you can use one of my models if you want the same thing, but ultimately, the true goodness of using it will be in the details that you are most passionate about. You will work on what you want to work on because it lights up your business life. You will ignore the rest, and that’s actually a good thing.

Great business stories don’t happen because of models, they happen because of the part of the model you worked on the most, devoting all your dreaming and doing energies to.

When we were kids, those Revell plastic replica kits were the rage of the toy stores. When my kids were young, Lego took over those same toy store shelves, but the sales technique was the same: A glossy box cover with a tantalizing photo of what the result would be once we put the model together.

It was that box cover that got us to choose the one we wanted.

My dad was the one who cared about the number of pieces in the box, and about how much glue he’d have to buy to go with it, and if we could handle the level of difficulty it would present to us, but us kids? We didn’t care, we wanted that box cover to come alive in our hands. We wanted that feeling knowing that we made it, and that all those things my dad cared about didn’t really matter — we’d get through them.

So model me this:

Model me your box cover.

But if you’re an Alaka‘i Manager, don’t stop there.

Model me “that feeling knowing that we made it, and that all those things [organizational obsessives and business gurus cared about] didn’t really matter.”

You’ll have the best model you can possibly have.

And you know what? Those other things you asked about? Mission, vision, goals… they’ll come with your box. Your team of model-makers may not identify them with those words exactly, but they’ll be there.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

sayalakai_rosasayMy mana‘o [The Backstory of this posting]
Each Tuesday I write a leadership posting for Say “Alaka‘i” at Hawai‘i’s newspaper The Honolulu Advertiser. If this is the first you have caught sight of my Say “Alaka‘i” tagline, you can learn more on this Talking Story page: About Say “Alaka‘i”.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Talking Story connections [Learning the 9 Keys of MWA]
If you have now Become an Alaka‘i Manager, how would you connect this post to your ongoing learning of MWA Key 6?

6. The ‘Ohana in Business:

The best form for your life can be the best form for your ‘Ohana in Business ® as well, where the goals of each will support the other. A business can be more than self-sustainable and profitable: It can thrive. We learn a value-based business model and organizational structure simultaneous to learning productivity practices which drive ROI (return on investment) and ROA (return on your attentions).

Talking Story Category Page: Key 6—The ‘Ohana in Business

The Manager #FridayFlash Fiction

September 4, 2009 by Rosa Say

The Manager

How had she missed them?

Ally could barely hide her surprise when Stacey and Diana joined the Huddle circle, both with those telltale coffee cups in hand. Warming for them perhaps, but seeing those unmistakable paper cups gave Ally an instant chill up her spine, and she stiffened. She quickly smiled, probably too broadly, mustering whatever nonchalance she could, and said, “Morning ladies, coffee good today?”

She’d watched for them just a half-hour earlier, as she often did. Way too often. Reconnaissance normally didn’t take her this long.

The two girls always had their heads together chatting and laughing (or rolling their eyes) about something. The corner Starbucks was large, perpetually busy and quite noisy, and Ally got braver with each passing morning, for they never noticed her watching them.

Or had they? They were so self-absorbed, center of their own universe —just like at work. She made sure she arrived before they did, ordered her own coffee, then grabbed a table and sat with the morning newspaper, pretending to read it as she covertly watched for them. However this morning they hadn’t showed, and the line snaked so long Ally was sure they’d do an about face and not bother since they were late.

Were they onto her? Had they gone to another Starbucks to avoid her?

Ally knew the pulse of the office usually flowed straight through the racing palpations Stacey and Diana brought to work with them each day. When they were “on it,” they seemed to magically flip everyone else’s switch; when their energies trickled the power dimmed; lights could go out for the others too. What Ally was trying to figure out was if she should use them or lose them; energy can come from different sources, and she only wanted the reliable ones. Just how much would these two girls matter?

They both did a damned good job, no doubt about it. That is, they did a good job yesterday, and would likely do so today. But would they still do so tomorrow, and the day after that, when Ally finally told everyone about the changes to come? Could they up their game? More importantly, what shots would they take if and when they tried to?

Stacey smiled at her, answering for them both. “Mm, real good. We each got an extra shot this morning, just for the heck of it, so we’re ready Ally. You can lay more zooming to the future on us; this rocket ship is ready to shoot for the moon.”

Mitch groaned loudly, “Great, just what I need. You two on more java than normal.” He made no effort to mask the fact that he wasn’t kidding about his distress. Mitch cruised in one gear, and he had no interest in rocket ships.

“Oh Mitch, you love us. You know you do.”

Stacey was ready. Ally could instantly tell this would not be another Huddle where Stacey relinquished the floor to her. Well now, so be it.

Ally smiled again, this time imagining herself the Cheshire Cat for an extra boost in confidence. She glanced at Diana to see if they were of one mind; were she and Stacey both prepared to storm the battlements? However Diana was enjoying watching Mitch grump, saying “Mmm Mmm” as she noisily sipped her coffee, and added, “Moon and stars Mitchell!” For the moment, Ally didn’t interest her. That bothered Ally even more.

Ally suspected, no, she knew, that everyone felt she was blowing company vision way out of proportion: She could feel their impatience, and worse, their thinly disguised boredom ”“ and Huddle was only 15 minutes long! She’d barely given the new vision ten of those minutes the past few days, and the time sped by, seeming to be much less. Nevertheless, she’d vowed to cut her next installment down to just five today and get them to speak up, but there was something she feared more than any objections they could throw at her: Their silence.

Ally felt she’d successfully earned enough management stripes to deal with all manner of pushback from her new staff. A verbal barrage was one she could fence and rally from; she did so with the best of them, and she enjoyed the parry. Silence however, disarmed her. It drove her crazy, and it took all the self-control she had not to scream, “Speak up for Chrissake, I cannot hear what you are thinking!”

She hated that she’d been watching them for this long and still didn’t know where she stood with them. She wanted to be in control, like she usually was. She needed to be in control so she could focus. And there was a lot riding on her focus. If they only knew.

As she’d sat in Starbucks and waited earlier that morning, her impatience growing, Ally caught a story in the business section about the way President Obama would commemorate the 09-09-09 palindrome: He was preparing to address a joint session of Congress to lay out his argument for health care reform. She’d hoped reading would calm her, but it had the opposite effect:

“So as the President huddles with his speechwriter to determine exactly what to say and how to say it, he would do well to recall the example of Winston Churchill. As Oxford philosopher Isaiah Berlin wrote in Mr. Churchill in 1940, ‘The Prime Minister was able to impose his imagination and his will upon his countrymen . . . and lifted them to an abnormal height.’ Furthermore, and here’s the key point, Churchill made the British people feel as if they were part of the action and vital to the cause of victory.”

Did Ally want Stacey and Diana to be part of her action? Were they vital to the cause, necessary in her victory?

She was about to find out. The waiting was over. She’d make sure of it.
Imagination. Will. Ally liked those words. And again, she smiled.

“Okay guys, let’s Huddle.”

Credits:

The newspaper clipping in my story actually came from a good blog post by John Baldoni for HarvardBusiness.org: How Leaders Make Big Issues Personal (and Possible).

2:51 Intermission:

I had chosen this clip for the best visual quality and shorter length, but realize the sound is quite soft: You can click directly to the YouTube page for related clips here (or if you are reading via RSS and don’t see it at all!)

Postscript: About my fiction

Writing fiction is a new exploration for me, prompted by a wonderful new community of writers and tweeters I discovered in my Leading with Twitter project, by following the #FridayFlash hashtag. If you care to follow the rabbit trail this Alice had followed in her @talkingstory Wonderland”

1-First path:
Wrote and posted this two-parter to up my game with Twitter: 5 Twitter Tips for Leading and 5 Twitter Tips for Managing. In between them, I posted An idea is a fragile thing: Oh the irony!

2-Winding trail: To lead by example with those two articles, I tried two new Twitter follows knowing they were in the publishing industry: @MariaSchneider and @NathanBransford. By the way, I highly recommend both of the blogs they write: Follow their bio links on Twitter.

3-Refreshment stop: Read this article at Maria’s Editor Unleashed, a guest post by J.M. Strother (@jmstro) explaining, Flash Fiction Gets Social with #fridayflash

4-Rabbit trail? My first attempt was awful, but in the spirit of full disclosure: The Vision. It was much shorter, and you will learn more than Ally did about Stacey and Diana :-)

5-Another playful path: The end of that first post does share more about my thought process on why I would continue to pursue flash fiction. The links I have inserted into the story today are not necessary for the fiction, but are for Talking Story readers who will recall the references to my management and leadership coaching articles.

I may not fit #FridayFlash into every week, much going on right now —and after this one I think it important I be a good community member and fit in more commenting/listening before more writing, but I still love the creative thought aligned in the parallels of my workplace mission and non-fiction writing.

Brings us to today :) Thank you so much for reading! Just made it under that 1,000 word limit, I know.

Now, as Ally might say, “Speak up for Chrissake, I cannot hear what you are thinking!” I mean, the comments are open… not much darkness in my Wonderland!
Trying the Comment Luv plugin here for the first time too: Check it off and it will capture your last blog title, sharing your #FridayFlash as well.

A Say “Alaka‘i” Flashback for #FridayFlash: The Vision

August 28, 2009 by Rosa Say

The Vision

“If she starts on us about Vision in today’s huddle again I swear I’m gonna puke.”

“Yeah, me too. Jeez, what’s the hold-up up there?”

Stacey and Diana tried to be patient as they waited their turn to order in the Starbucks line, but they were cutting it too close to starting time as it was, and they needed another scapegoat to direct their irritation toward. Their manager Ally was a convenient target.

They had office hours, and so the workday always started with a stand-up huddle. Just 15 minutes to dish about the workday to come and get everyone in the mood; to corral their energies and light a fire here or there. Anyone could strike that match, and so huddle was usually something they both looked forward to, each cradling their grande café lattes and not hesitating to jump into the conversation without much prompting at all.

But in the last week everyone was quiet, Stacey and Diana included, and Ally did most of the talking. She was using the time to explain about a new corporate Vision Statement handed down from the powers that be, and everyone just wasn’t having it. Ally probably felt their daily huddle was a good time to ease into the corporate-speak, breaking it down bit by bit, and in her single-minded focus with it she missed seeing that everyone else was way less than enthusiastic.

“You know, I hate to admit this, for it makes me sound like a company girl groupie of some kind, but I feel like we’ve been robbed ”“ isn’t huddle supposed to be for all of us? We can’t get a word in edgewise lately.”

“Yeah, Ally doesn’t seem to notice she’s been grandstanding and taking up all the time on this Vision thing. I get that it’s important, but it woulda been much better if she hauled us into one of those 2-hour afternoon meetings and just dispensed with all of it in one fell swoop.”

“That’s funny when you think about it. Imagine us wanting to have another meeting.”

Commiseration can be useful sometimes, for they’d reached the front of the line.

“Hey, good morning. Yep, grande café latte for each of us, as usual. You know what, give me an extra shot today.”

“Yeah, sounds good. Make mine a triple too.”

Vision was requiring an awful lot of caffeine.

For the second cup... by HAMED MASOUMI on Flickr
For the second cup... by HAMED MASOUMI on Flickr

A few Talking Story questions to think about:

And we can talk story about it if you care to.

If you were a character in this short story, who would you be?

If you were Stacey or Diana, would you continue to wait out the Vision creep in huddle, or would you speak up and suggest the meeting?

Why do you suppose they haven’t spoke up if this is bugging them so much?

If you were coaching Ally, what advice would you give her?

How can a Vision handed down from a corporate office be more engaging and attractive to people who have not co-authored it?

Let’s talk story!

About #FridayFlash

I just learned about #FridayFlash late last night while doing my own Leading with Twitter, and these fictional characters popped into my head this morning as I took my daily run.

I was still thinking about my posting yesterday too: The Leadership/Management Partnership Toward Vision, and about all that you, as a manager, may have to do just so you can lay the groundwork for what I suggest within your managing and leading strategies.

Know this: It IS all manageable, and I DO believe you can do it!

When I think of all the Allys, Staceys and Dianas out there who may be struggling in the workplace, my own faulty messing around outside my comfort zone (with writing a short fictional story as my first #FridayFlash attempt) is completely worth it. Believe it or not, I haven’t even had my coffee yet!

If this is your first time to Talking Story in following the Twitter #FridayFlash hashtag WELCOME, and thank you so much for clicking in! A quick look at this page will tell you about the Say “Alaka‘i” connection: I am a non-fiction author who writes on values, managing and leading, for I believe managers matter. Alaka‘i is the Hawaiian value of leadership in my book, Managing with Aloha.

When I read J. M. Strother’s write-up about #FridayFlash I loved the thought of how fiction could help make our efforts to manage better get illustrated in short connective stories managers could relate to, and think more deeply about. Stories have such an amazing way of making academic theory and biz-speak concepts come alive so they are truly relevant. To those of you who are the master of the short story, I look forward to learning more from you, and plan on doing my commenting for the #FridayFlash community over the coming weekend. Until then, mahalo nui loa, thank you so much for your visit here.

Next Page »

Search Talking Story your way

RSS Current Articles at Managing with Aloha:

  • Do it—Experiment!
  • Hō‘imi to Curate Your Life’s Experience
  • Kaʻana i kāu aloha: Share your Aloha
  • Managing Basics: The Good Receiver
  • What do executives do, anyway? They do values.
  • Managing Basics: On Finishing Well
  • Wellness—the kind that actually works

Search Talking Story by Category

Talking Story Article Archives

  • July 2016 (1)
  • April 2012 (1)
  • March 2012 (6)
  • February 2012 (6)
  • January 2012 (10)
  • December 2011 (1)
  • November 2011 (4)
  • October 2011 (17)
  • September 2011 (8)
  • August 2011 (6)
  • July 2011 (2)
  • June 2011 (2)
  • May 2011 (4)
  • April 2011 (12)
  • March 2011 (16)
  • February 2011 (16)
  • January 2011 (23)
  • December 2010 (4)
  • November 2010 (1)
  • October 2010 (1)
  • September 2010 (4)
  • August 2010 (1)
  • July 2010 (4)
  • June 2010 (13)
  • May 2010 (17)
  • April 2010 (18)
  • March 2010 (13)
  • February 2010 (18)
  • January 2010 (16)
  • December 2009 (12)
  • November 2009 (15)
  • October 2009 (20)
  • September 2009 (20)
  • August 2009 (17)
  • July 2009 (16)
  • June 2009 (13)
  • May 2009 (3)
  • April 2009 (19)
  • March 2009 (18)
  • February 2009 (21)
  • January 2009 (26)
  • December 2008 (31)
  • November 2008 (19)
  • October 2008 (8)
  • September 2008 (11)
  • August 2008 (11)
  • July 2008 (10)
  • June 2008 (16)
  • May 2008 (1)
  • March 2008 (17)
  • February 2008 (24)
  • January 2008 (13)
  • December 2007 (10)
  • November 2007 (6)
  • July 2007 (27)
  • June 2007 (23)
  • May 2007 (13)
  • April 2007 (19)
  • March 2007 (17)
  • February 2007 (14)
  • January 2007 (15)
  • December 2006 (14)
  • November 2006 (16)
  • October 2006 (13)
  • September 2006 (29)
  • August 2006 (14)
  • July 2006 (19)
  • June 2006 (19)
  • May 2006 (12)
  • April 2006 (11)
  • March 2006 (14)
  • February 2006 (14)
  • January 2006 (7)
  • December 2005 (15)
  • November 2005 (27)
  • October 2005 (22)
  • September 2005 (38)
  • August 2005 (31)
  • July 2005 (34)
  • June 2005 (32)
  • May 2005 (27)
  • April 2005 (28)
  • March 2005 (36)
  • February 2005 (33)
  • January 2005 (35)
  • December 2004 (13)
  • November 2004 (24)
  • October 2004 (22)
  • September 2004 (28)
  • August 2004 (8)

Copyright © 2021 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in