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Native Tongue, help and hindrance

March 18, 2011 by Rosa Say

One of the book reviews I’d like to share with you soon, will be on Haruki Murakami’s memoir, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running — and I will; not quite ready. Still sitting with it, in that afterglow a book can give when you’ve read it all the way through but keep thinking about it, and keep going back to reread certain paragraphs.

Meanwhile, here is a passage I found particularly fascinating.

If you have not heard of him, Murakami is both marathon runner and writer. He’s considered influential in postmodern literature, is probably Japan’s best-selling novelist globally, and he’s prolific, writing essays and short stories as well. He also works as a translator, and has published translations of F. Scott Fitzgerald, John Irving, Raymond Carver (who he calls “a writer beloved by me”) , Tim O’Brien, Chris van Allsburg, Truman Capote and Paul Theroux.

In his memoir, Murakami explains that he much prefers giving his speeches in English despite all the extra work, writing his speaking drafts in English too. He writes:

“Naturally, this takes a lot of time to prepare. Before I get up on stage I have to memorize a thirty- or forty-minute talk in my English. If you just read a written speech as is, the whole thing will feel lifeless to an audience. I have to choose words that are easy to pronounce so people can understand me, and remember to get the audience to laugh to put them at ease. I have to convey to those listening a sense of who I am. Even if it’s just for a short time, I have to get the audience on my side if I want them to listen to me. And in order to do that, I have to practice the speech over and over, which takes a lot of effort.”

He goes through all this, and has done so for years now, because knowing less English gives him less raw material to deal with effectively. All of Murakami’s native Japanese is just too much to sort through in constructing the sentences he’ll end up choosing. Less is easier to handle, and easier to memorize. The better you memorize a presentation, the less you ad-lib (which most professional speakers will tell you, is where they risk losing their train of thought as they speak.):

“It’s strange, but when I have to speak in front of an audience, I find it more comfortable to use my far-from-perfect English than Japanese. I think this is because when I have to speak seriously about something in Japanese I’m overcome with the feeling of being swallowed up in a sea of words. There’s an infinite number of choices for me, infinite possibilities. As a writer, Japanese and I have a tight relationship. So if I’m going to speak in front of an undefined large group of people, I grow confused and frustrated when faced by that teeming ocean of words.”

This intrigues me because of all I write in Hawaiian, even though English is my first language — my only language really, for to be accurate, I know a great deal of Hawaiian and think with the kaona (subtly hidden, storied meanings) of my life-long Hawai‘i mana‘o (beliefs and convictions rooted in sense of place), but I don’t speak it, not as language.

My speeches and presentations are all in English, of course, but I actually write them by starting with Hawaiian for the same reasons Murakami describes, with a small difference: My Hawaiian is more limited, but it is actually much more descriptive to me, especially because my thinking about it is so values-based, and my speeches essentially, are about some kind of behavioral coaching.

English frustrates me quite a bit, even after speaking it nearly exclusively all my life. There is just too much of it, and it drives me crazy how people will use different words indiscriminately. My pet peeves, as you know, are management versus leadership.

I remember how much difficulty I had in the early months of writing this blog because I used way too much Hawaiian then, and would lose people constantly. I couldn’t even understand my own challenge at first, because my ‘hapa talk,’ half English, half Hawaiian/local slang, was easily understood in my real world — my conversational, every day speaking habits are par for the course in the islands.

World-wide web publishing was a whole new ballgame, and Hawaiian is not going mainstream any time soon! I know how fortunate I am that some of my best friends today were early readers who stuck with me. I think better by thinking in writing, and so I’ve had to learn to go farther into English than I normally would have in the past — and farther than I normally want to; Hawaiian is so much more satisfying. When I start writing in Hawaiian, I start thinking within stories and concepts instead of with choosing ideas, or with writing descriptions.

So good to feel I have company in this, though we have our differences, Murakami and I!

For more about Haruki Murakami, I found this Sunday Times UK article interesting (from 2008): Ten things you need to know about Haruki Murakami: The key facts about the coolest writer in the world today.

Check out the U.S. website he has with Random House too: It’s as cool and mysterious as he is.

If this is enough to intrigue you about Murakami, and you aren’t runner or writer, I’d recommend you try reading one of his novels or short story collections first: I’ll certainly be reaching for more.

To wrap this up, here is how he finishes the passage I’ve quoted:

“Running is a great activity to do while memorizing a speech. As, almost unconsciously, I move my legs, I line the words up in order in my mind. I measure the rhythm of the sentences, the way they’ll sound. With my mind elsewhere I’m able to run for a long while, keeping up a natural speed that doesn’t tire me out. Sometimes when I’m practicing a speech in my head, I catch myself making all kinds of gestures and facial expressions, and the people passing me from the opposite direction give me a weird look.”

“Today as I was running I saw a plump Canada goose lying dead by the shore of the Charles [he writes this while in Cambridge, Massachusetts]. A dead squirrel, too, lying next to a tree. They both looked like they were fast asleep, but they were dead. Their expressions were calm, as if they’d accepted the end of life, as if they were finally liberated. Next to the boathouse by the river was a homeless man wearing layers of filthy clothes. He was pushing a shopping cart and belting out “America the Beautiful.” Whether he really meant it or was being deeply ironic, I couldn’t tell.”

Turn up the Volume and Manage Loudly

May 27, 2010 by Rosa Say for Say “Alaka‘i”

This is a communication follow-up to this: The Real Problem with Leadership

Dear Alaka‘i Manager,

You’re practicing the Daily 5 Minutes, and working on your listening skills, and on being more approachable, right?

I’m sure you do tell your people that you want them to speak up, that you sincerely value their initiative, and that you are completely willing to support them whenever they feel their own stirrings of self-leadership bloom.

Thank you, for doing all those things.

Question: Are you getting better results because of those efforts?

If not, do you understand what might be missing? So many good messages… why might they not be getting through?

Repeat, repeat, repeat

I don’t want you to give up too soon, or get frustrated when results don’t happen as quickly as you hope they will.

People need prodding; we all do. Whether we admit it or not, we like repeated attention, especially encouragement. A manager’s constant reassurance is a kind of refueling in the workplace, keeping progress humming along. You can’t allow your voicing of support to falter or stop: Constancy and repetition is important in fulfilling some basic needs of our human nature.

So be a broken record. You know you mean what you say the first time, or you wouldn’t have said it at all. However you can say that too, and still be doubted. People need to hear things from you over and over again so they believe them. We all ‘hear’ sincerity in those statements that our managers repeat constantly because then we’re convinced you really mean it, and aren’t just saying it because you think you should, or because it’s the company line. We believe it when we feel you do.

So you repeat what’s most important, and you get people to believe you. Now if you want them to take action, turn up the volume and be more lively.

Animation invigorates everyone

It’s become crystal clear to me that of all the presentations I do, the ones people pay attention to most are the ones in which I’m the most animated, and seem to have taken a theatrical pill of some kind: I become the message of Managing with Aloha on steroids. These are the talks people will learn something from, allowing my message to impact them positively, and be a source of energy for them.

It’s not acting, and it’s easy for me to do because I’m passionate about it, for Managing with Aloha does evoke definite emotion in me. The same thing has to happen with the messages you convey to your people as a manager: If you want results, you have to connect what you believe in, to some very visible emotional volume.

We hear emotion. Messages accompanied by emotion are the ones we take to heart. Everything else, if it captures our attention at all, is merely interesting. The Ho‘ohana work managers want to inspire is beyond “merely interesting” — it moves people.

Whatever it may be about, it’s not enough for your message to be accurate, insightful, and oh-so-right. If it’s to inspire, and spark another person’s motivations, it has to be ‘emotionally loud.’ It must create an energy that reverberates in the workplace.

For “it” to achieve those things, YOU have to. You have the message, now BE the messenger. If you want others to be passionate about their work, you have to be passionate about yours as their manager.

Results will trump any embarrassment

Where this post comes from, is that I’ve watched you in your meetings, and frankly, you have to be less boring. You’re smart and you’re talented (or you wouldn’t be the manager or the boss) but you need to become more passionate and intense about the work you lead, for intensity is hard to ignore. You’ve got to be willing to speak repeatedly, and with more pizzazz.

I’ll give this coaching to managers I’ve observed in action, and they will say, (“yeah, but”” alert!) “That’s not me; I’m a calmer person, and more animation doesn’t come naturally to me.”

Well guess what? It doesn’t come naturally to me either. I learned to get animated because it works. If your message doesn’t wake up the troops, all your other efforts to equip them won’t be worth much, no matter how detailed or involved they are, and you’ll continue to wonder why not.

Chances are, your people want you to be different: Normal is unexciting. This next link goes to a resource article which illuminates what “being unnatural” can do for you. It’s written by voice coach Janet Dowd. In part…

To become a natural presenter you must behave unnaturally

Activities such as giving presentations, delivering conference papers, facilitating seminars, running workshops, passing on information to others in any communal way are not natural. They are contrivances devised since time immemorial as the means by which the information that one person owns can best be disseminated to as many and as varied listeners as possible.

The discomfort of trial and error is part of the deal you must make with yourself to get to a position where other people attending your sessions are not made uncomfortable by your ineptness as you put across the knowledge you own.

We presenters must be prepared to put ourselves through the pain and discomfort of feeling extra-ordinary and silly in order to gain access to the comfort zone in which elements of stance, rhythm, flow, tune, pitch and vocal volume can express ideas openly and clearly. Our tongues must learn a multiplicity of percussive tricks and manipulate the space behind the face to produce the varied tonal qualities that will entice or command other people’s comprehension. Our memories must incorporate unusual words with specific meaning into our vocabularies and our bodies know how best to support us as we perform to inform.

Start small, and then Go Big!

I know that speaking in front of groups can be scary, yet great managers learn to do it, and learn to do it well. They have to.

Start small. Start to turn up the emotional volume in your one-on-one conversations, for in those situations the other person feels a responsibility with making you feel more comfortable, and with responding to you immediately: You will be creating a positive feedback loop. Follow-up conversations are great times to convey more emotion because your follow-up is so welcomed.

Then you can progress to team huddles, and to those meetings with larger groups: Bring Back the Staff Meeting!

You’ll be speaking one day without being to help yourself, because your Ho‘ohana passion has taken over and there’s no turning back. You don’t want to!

Photo Credit: Another volume by MikeLao26 on Flickr

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

sayalakai_rosasayMy mana‘o [The Backstory of this posting]
Each Thursday I write a management posting for Say “Alaka‘i” at Hawai‘i’s newspaper The Honolulu Advertiser. If this is the first you have caught sight of my Say “Alaka‘i” tagline, you can learn more on this Talking Story page: About Say “Alaka‘i”. There are some differences in this Talking Story version, most notably that all links will keep you here on this blog.

Speaking. I LOVE it. That’s why I charge for it

May 19, 2010 by Rosa Say

I want to keep loving it. All of it completely. The whole experience.

Speaking for an audience is joyful, and an incredible honor, and I want to keep it that way.

Photo Credit: In Concert by Martin Fisch on Flickr

So I’m wondering: How would a speaker (and a coach) write something like this for their speaking page, as a proactive and helpful statement?

I won’t speak for free by Mack Collier at The Viral Garden

Much shorter of course, and as tactfully as possible. Do you have any suggestions? It’s a delicate thing and no speaker wants to come off like some high and mighty snob! Any good examples you can point me to will be appreciated.

I’ve tried to be a bit more subtle about it, but the subtlety isn’t working.  (This was one example: “Free” never is, so don’t ask at Say “Alaka‘i.” I touched on it again  yesterday, though my post purpose was unrelated). Recessionary budgets have morphed into broken-record excuses which completely miss the point. Besides, I realize that it is unrealistic for me to expect that those who call me with their “please-speak-for-free” requests read my blog, and if I pursue this, something would have to go on my speaking page.

Having this link there has really helped with my experiences overall: How to Capture an Expert’s Value: 12 Tips …but it hasn’t solved the whole issue of how speaking for free is a bad idea more often than not… like when you drive for two hours to get to the engagement, or worse, fly and do the whole airport thing as usually must happen for me, and your host tells you they have made additions to their program, and you now have just ten minutes to present.

It can’t be coincidence that all my less-than-pleasant stories happen when I have done a presentation without charging for it: People simply do not value free nearly much as they value paying for something.

I have one more exception coming up. However Mack’s post has reminded me to be stronger in my resolve and put an end to my exceptions. It will be the last one for me. No more speaking for free, even though I truly LOVE the speaking itself. I weaken all of us who assess value to our Ho‘ohana work when I try to ‘be nice’ about it. I believe I give great value to my audiences, and if my host ever feels differently I am happy to give them a full refund of my fee.

So why am I writing about it here?

Two reasons: I value your opinion, and trust you’ll let me know if you think I should just leave it alone. I now have the conversation with those who inquire, but it can be an uncomfortable thing, and I suspect I would address it better proactively on that page, and in writing.

Second, to offer you my coaching on this as learning the value of Ho‘ohanohano: affording others dignity and respect, and in the process, conducting yourself with distinction.

Don’t be “that guy” and disrespect and devalue the work of other people, whether they speak or do something else for you. Be the polar opposite, and be the person who values them more. If you are a conference organizer, rethink your business model (there are good comments in Mack’s post in that regard).

I know that many of you who read Talking Story will never hire me, and that you read my blog for the complimentary coaching I happen to give as I write to think out loud as I do — and that’s okay, we both benefit. You’re my Ho‘ohana Community, and learning-together community is different from audience. Plus you ‘pay’ me in other ways, such as your subscribing when I ask, your comment conversation, buying my books and tweeting to share my articles.

Most important of all, you listen deeply, and you take action with what we talk about. We Ho‘ohana together, and you help me set a good example in living, working, managing, and leading with Aloha.

Since we’re likeminded in so many ways I don’t think I have to explain this very much, and I’m posting this here today to ask you to value what people do for you money-free. Stop for a moment, and think about what people give you. Think about what it takes for them to give it to you, and how you can appreciate them better. Value their giving more, so they feel that you DO understand their worth.

All work gets elevated when we who receive the good work of others assess it value. Something else kicks in like magic: The giver will try to give you way more than you have paid for.  I know I always do, and I’ll bet you do too.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Footnotes:

To be fair to all the wonderful hosts out there who hire speakers, there are a bunch of reasons you can be asked to shorten a planned presentation, reasons out of their control. Other presenters will go overtime, a Q&A session heats up, air conditioning goes on the blink, you name it. I was once interrupted by a pair of mating mynah birds deciding the ballroom chandelier above the stage would suit their very loud courtship… what can you do but laugh as the flustered banquet captain stands on a chair and swats a broom at them? We’ve all run into those situations where you have to quickly edit what you’ve prepared, and you know what? Shorter can be way, way better for both you and your audience, as long as you have still delivered.

Coincidentally saw this at Presentation Zen yesterday too, where Garr Reynolds offers his application of Simon Sinek’s golden circle of communication: Starting presentations from why. This technique, of communicating 1–Why before 2–How or 3–What, is a great way to coach yourself in the wings before you present in whatever time you have been given.

Second, here is another post from Mack Collier: The introvert’s guide to speaking. You may never want to be someone who speaks as a professional presenter, however all Alaka‘i Managers will speak to teams or groups in some form —learning to do so is essential in your skillset— and Mack shares more of his experience, and how he went from fearing it to loving it.

Read the story behind the book: Imagine having a Thought Kit
Get your copy from the Kindle Store, or on Smashwords.com

How to Capture an Expert’s Value: 12 Tips

July 19, 2007 by Rosa Say

Aloha,

This article has been updated, and now appears within the archives of Managing with Aloha, along with the recent articles and essays I currently publish.

You can read it here:

How to Capture an Expert’s Value: 12 Tips (RSS)

Thank you for your visit,

Rosa Say
Workplace culture coach, and author of Managing with Aloha, Bringing Hawai‘i’s Universal Values to the Art of Business: Learn more here.

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