Successful hosts guide discussions to involve all viewpoints and make sure group members know they have open-door access.

This doesn’t mean hosts allow endless filibuster conversations in meetings; nor does it encourage aimless wandering into their office to chat away the day.

The Talking Stick.

The Mingwe (Mingo) native peoples of the Appalachian mountains had a wonderful method for insuring every member of the group had an opportunity to participate in meetings and yet no one individual could monopolize the attention.

When matters were of significant importance to require a meeting of the group the host (usually the eldest member of the group) would begin the discussion by holding a symbol of attention (the talking stick). After the purpose and agenda were explained, the stick would be passed along to the next member of the group. This system worked for centuries as an effective way to assure everyone had right to be heard.

The successful host may not feel the need to have the actual symbol present (although I have used it with great success in several crisis scenarios) the philosophy of each individual coming to gather motivated for the common good of all must be maintained. All that is really required is the ability to ask a few prompting questions from each member of the group.

Over the years I have been blessed with the opportunity to participate in trainings from some of the great business and organizational leaders in the U.S. At each training I enter with the same goal, "Find at least one thing this I can take away and put into action immediately." One such training was based on John C. Maxwell’s program. In that training I picked up the following nudge, "Devote 5 minutes of prep time to every minute of face time you request from your leader."

This may sound odd at first. Let’s work it through. Many times I have had an issue that I wanted to bring to my supervisor as an area beyond my control. However, as I sat down to prepare my 5:1 outline I discovered something astounding. When I took the time to deliberately put a name to my concern, followed by an explanation of why it is a concern, and concluding with what I would like my supervisor to do about it I found one of three things typically happened:

One: The act of naming the problem actually gave me the handle I needed to solve it myself.

Two: Explaining why it was a problem resulted in my realization that it actually wasn’t or wouldn’t be for long.

Three: I came to the realization that there was very little my supervisor could do that I couldn’t do myself.

Once you guide your team into adopting this route themselves you will find that your open door is a boost to productive interaction rather than a drag on efficiency.

Leadership hospitality is always enhanced when the principal of equity and accessibility are build into the plan.

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Guest Author: Reg Adkins, author of Faith Based Counseling

This is the second article that Reg has generously written for our Talking Story community forum on Ho‘okipa, the Hospitality of Complete Giving. His first was called Hospitality: Our Gatherings Seek to Meet a Need.

~ Rosa

Why should you be concerned with the concept of hospitality thinking about conducting a staff meeting? Isn’t it part of the cost of doing business? Shouldn’t people realize meetings are a "necessary evil" we must endure to achieve a coordinated professional community? Won’t the "good people" already understand these things and be mature about them?

Even though we would like to think that all the above questions don’t need to be addressed, if we take a look at the typical morning that characterizes the day of a highly effective person we see that they are, in reality, legitimate and valid questions.

6:30 a.m. Highspeed wakes up, gets dressed, munches down a protein bar while heading out the door to his vehicle.

6:45 a.m. Highspeed arrives at the gym and push through the morning routine. Today is a "mix day" 1/4 weight training 3/4 aerobic.

7:15 a.m. Highspeed showers, dresses and heads to the office.

7:30 a.m. Highspeed arrives at work 30 minutes "early" in order to actually get some work started before the daily stream of visitors begin stopping by.

8:50 a.m. Every thing in Highspeed’s day comes to a screeching halt for a "brief" impromptu staff meeting.

How do we reconcile our knowledge that working closely as a community helps staff members focus on critical issues, to the fact that meetings can be a stumbling block to the self motivated individuals like Highspeed above?

First there are some givens that we must keep in the forefront of our awareness.

• Unnecessary meetings don’t build community.
• Unnecessary meetings build resentment.
• Unnecessary meetings are often held because it is Tuesday, rather than because there is a need.

On the other hand, when a meeting is truly necessary, it can have some powerful benefits. This is especially the case when meetings are designed to enhance the purpose of the group and contributes to the accomplishment of the mission. Meetings of this type are easily identified both by the method in which they are conducted and the "feeling" the participants take away from the meeting.

Well guided gatherings have the following characteristics of hospitality.

• They build a sense of continuity.
• They maintain a connection within the group.
• The host provides attendees with a true vision of this direction.
• The what next, the why,and the how are elements of a productive meeting that every member must be familiar comfortable with in advance.

A good meeting host knows the aspect of a meeting which embodies the feeling of professional hospitality.

These aspects can be nurtured by insuring that:

1. Copies are prepared in advance.
2. It is important than an agenda is shared advance.
3. The agenda is followed.
4. Time limits are honored.
5. Courtesy is the norm observed by all group members.

It is frustrating to dynamic workers when they are required to sit around a meeting room while someone goes out to make copies, a point is beleaguered beyond need or the honor of respect is not shared to all.

As a final note we must remember that group members welcome time with their leaders to discuss the direction work relative to the destination of the community. Appreciate this connection and don’t unfairly exploit it.

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Guest Author: Reg Adkins of Faith Based Counseling.

As a note of introduction, Reg recently inspired me to create a post — and a weekend learning project — on www.ManagingWithAloha.com that included a glimpse into my private journal, something I do not often do on my blogs. I love the premise of elemental truths shared on Reg’s blog, and my own posting had pointed to one of Reg’s articles that remains a favorite of mine: Sources, Nudges and Elemental Truths.
~Rosa