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Dear Manager, Who do you want to be?

October 24, 2011 by Rosa Say

What I often hear from managers is, “I feel pulled in so many different directions.”

What they mean to say, is that they are trying to please a variety of different people, and it never stops: They will get some short-term results, but they know they have simply bought some time, and soon the juggling act will start again, where they weigh the sensitivities with who to please next — Boss? Subordinate? Peer? Customer? Supplier? Spouse?

They feel caught in a vicious circle where stress and pressure might ebb and flow, but it never ends.

They need a long-term solution to the “pulling at me” dilemma.

The sad thing, is that they usually aren’t even asking me for help; they’re just making a statement to explain “the way things are” without expecting that it can be different.

I'm starting to crack
I'm starting to crack by Nina Matthews Photography, on Flickr

Managing doesn’t have to be that way; there IS a solution.

It sounds counter-intuitive at first, but the answer is in getting more selfish. They need to answer the question, “Who do I want to be with these people?” and that usually requires new work with relationship building, one person at a time, until a healthier, and more productive relationship is in place. That relationship is the long-term solution to the tendency short-term issues have with repeating themselves in shades of never-ending variety.

Let’s look at the manager-subordinate relationship as an example.

Usually, that ‘with’ word is critical, because instead of defining “Who do I want to be WITH this person?” managers — and they are managers with the best intentions — actually work in a way that is about who they need to be FOR that person. In reality, they need to work with their subordinates, and not for them, eliminating as much pinch-hitting as possible so that people can stand on their own in the work they do.

For after all, they were hired to do their work, not you.

Remember this?

Stars want to work with other stars. People want to believe that they are working with the best people in their field, and not with others who are second best.
— Lead with Compassion, then Manage for Competence

Managers who operate as salaried pinch-hitters aren’t managers; they’re extras. Most businesses today (and all good businesses, for that matter) don’t employ extras.

The most effective managers do not have co-dependent relationships with other people, not even with those on their team. Great managers coach people to be stars, working toward a goal of that star being individually indispensable in what they do, and in how well they do it. A great manager isn’t “one of the boys (or girls)” and doesn’t want to be: A great manager wants to be supporter and teacher, skills trainer and talent groomer, learning and/or influence resource, coach and mentor — NOT co-worker.

The key word is ROLE, and it’s individually relevant.

You may want to be a co-worker for a peer (and be specific about what that means in that relationship), but not for a subordinate who needs you to be their coach and mentor.

What is the role you play with each person who “pulls at” you? What is it now, and what should it be? — What should it develop toward, so you both grow in your relationship? Your daily work together should be the way your new and improved relationship plays out and progresses: In the instance of their next pulling, work within the steps necessary so that self-development begins to happen for each of you.

Managers are the people in an organization who channel available human energies in the best possible way. When managers work WITH someone, results should be exponentially greater — learning and people-development is somehow woven into it, and the manager isn’t just another pair of hands increasing or speeding up production: When a manager is involved in work with someone else, the process of that person’s work gets tweaked at the same time.

Work on this one person at a time, to do WITH them whenever you’re together, and not FOR them, and you will have your long-term solution of a newer and better relationship between you. The juggling will stop, because it gets replaced with consistent progress.

The prize of course, is that you will now be freed up to work on the role you are meant to work on within your calling: The Reconstructed, Rejuvenated, Newly Respected, and Never Underestimated Role of the Manager.

Find your Sweet Spot, and work there. Be that star, and then, you can move on to more exciting stuff, Your Edge :)

Aloha! Just joining us?

Talking Story is the blog home of those who are learning to be Alaka‘i Managers — those committed to managing and leading with Aloha. Read a preview of the book which inspired this movement, and visit our About Page.

Talking Story with Rosa Say

Workplace Culture balances Change and Constants

August 28, 2011 by Rosa Say

I received a couple of emails following my last posting (Managers Create Culture), and taken altogether the gist of them was this:

“If I don’t have a comprehensive philosophy yet, like you have in Managing with Aloha, how do I start to define the workplace culture I want to foster as an Alaka‘i Manager? The variables can be so overwhelming, and I struggle to focus, and set my priorities.”

Hat’s off, shoe on, to Isaia

Do you know when those variables get overwhelming? When they aren’t actually yours. We managers have a way of inheriting and collecting periphery.

Here’s what I recommend instead. It’s still about articulating an all-you packaging of your values (which is Managing with Aloha at its core), but arriving at them in another way, one which concentrates on action connected to desired change and valued constants.

To paraphrase and add to a famous quote by Mahatma Gandhi:

Be the Change you wish to see in your world, while remaining devoted to your Constants.

We talk about change a lot, equating it with initiative, innovation and creativity, however we tend to forget those constants we have already invested in, constants which keep us grounded, confident, steady and sure.

So try this: Sit with a blank sheet of paper, and make a simple list of your purely instinctive, gut-check WANTS, writing them down under one of two sub-headings:

  1. MY CONSTANTS
    (your keepers: You have these, still want them, and will devotedly hold on to them)
  2. GOOD CHANGE
    (your goals: Assume you want these for good reason, so work on getting them!)

Your list should describe your future. Identify what you want it to be, so those wants can guide you forward. Be as specific as possible, for specific detail is more conducive to revealing action steps you can take.

Your values will provide the ‘why.’ When you can tap into it, ‘purely instinctive, gut-check’ wanting gives voice to your values — you’ll be able to read between the lines, and get clarity on what your values are all about, and not theoretically or historically, but right now, for today, and for ‘Imi ola— a creation of your best-possible future.

This might help you start your list… Fill in the blanks, remembering to then choose which column they go in, valued CONSTANTS, or desired CHANGE:
I want to work on ______, and not on _______.
I want to forge a partnership with _______, so we can work on __________.
I’d love to see the day that we _____________ all day long!
I want to keep learning about _____________, so we’ll be able to _________.

Bet you can take it from there!

The first step in articulating the workplace culture you want is usually to be more selfish — yes, selfish, as in self-aware. Focus is all about energy management: Self-manage (channel your energy) and self-lead (create fresh energy) before you presume to create workplace culture for anyone else. It evokes the oxygen mask theory: You can’t save anyone else when you can’t breathe either.

In clarifying your change and your constants, you define your stretch while holding on to your keepers. You also couple your form and function without interruption (i.e. your on-going productivity and business of life), for balancing Change and Constants is simply a way you sort through the clutter of life, and focus on what’s important to you.

For instance, here on Talking Story you often read postings where I seem to question, dabble, and experiment: I especially love 90-day projects as a gift-boxing of my still-tentative change. When I wrap up those projects, I weave them into my Ho‘ohana Story somehow, for my constants are about Aloha (defined here), Ho‘ohana (worthwhile work), and ‘Ike loa (intentional learning). Over time, my keepers in the MWA culture became the 19 values in my book, and the 9 Key Concepts. The early sentences on my List of Wants moved into statements like the 10 Beliefs and Core 21.

If you pull out your list every time you do a Weekly Review, you can revise it with constantly freshened relevance. When something no longer sounds like a Burning Yes, just cross it off the list and add what does.

Trust me: If you can make this simple process your new habit, your desired workplace culture will be steadily revealed to you. And remember…  You are Your Habits, so Make ‘em Good!

Your Change + Your Constants = Your Culture:

  • Write it down: Gut-check list your wants as either Constants or Change.
  • Create your future: Allow that list to set your priorities, and be your values-based focus.
  • Make it happen: Review weekly to self-manage and self-lead, and
  • Feel good about it: You’ll get a good grip on your best energies.
  • Share it: The Workplace Culture you champion will be the great result.

So turn this affirmation into a poster you look at daily:

I’ll be Change, and I’ll be Constant. I’ll be the Culture of my Future.

Write it on a post-it and tape it on the mirror where you brush your teeth each morning, then Ho‘ohana — make it happen.

Don’t Just Add, Replace. Own the 100%

February 15, 2011 by Rosa Say

The phrase, Don’t Just Add, Replace is probably one of the best productivity tips I have been able to give crazy-busy managers over the years. I recently mentioned it within the discussion we had on the challenges when you adopt the D5M: Can you fail with The Daily Five Minutes?

In wrapping my arms around the Big Picture thinking all managers must embrace, percentages have always appealed to me. I first wrote about the strategy of owning the 100% in a posting I had done for Lifehack.org several years ago. Here is a reprint for our Talking Story reference.

Don’t Just Add, Replace. Own the 100%

Here’s a sample snippet of a coaching conversation I have often had with executives. To set the scene for you, it usually happens after we’ve discussed a project or strategic initiative and its value alignment for their organization.

Exec: “This is terrific; I can see how it will make a big difference for us. I’m anxious to get started; we could probably introduce the plan at our next staff meeting.”

Me: “I agree, it is a terrific plan. However let me ask you something before you move on to how you’ll communicate it, or to the campaign you’ll subsequently run with it. What are you assuming this additional project will replace in your existing operation?”

Exec: “What will it replace? Well, the old way we’ve been approaching things; we all agree that our present tactics aren’t all that effective.”

Me: “When you say ‘present tactics,’ how much are you referring to? Are you completely confident that everyone will make the same assumptions you are, and not continue trying to handle both the old and the new? What are the reasons they might want to hold on to the comfortable, tried and true way they’ve always approached this?”

Exec: “Listen, I don’t want to micromanage the thing. I’m sure they can figure it out.”

Another potential stress factor lobbed into the organization. Unless” we continue the conversation to figure out how without micromanaging, the Exec can articulate some suggestions whereby he gives them the gift of reasonableness, not adding to their sense of overwhelm.

You may be underestimating your influence

The reality of most organizations, is that pleasing the boss, in handling directives both old and new, contributes to the significant, and rampant proliferation of auto-pilot, sacred cows, stressful overload, and productivity slowdowns. Like it or not, and whether you want to admit it or not, when you are the boss, people are very selective about the questions they’ll ask you, fearing they are exposing their own shortcomings or lack of self-confidence. If they perceive “the old way” was one of your once-favored pet projects, they’ll hold on to their practice of it, even when they might think better of it otherwise.

When you are about to add to someone’s workload, you should own the 100%. What I mean by that, is that the responsible thing to do, is to own the productivity equilibrium in the operation when you contribute to it.

The one assumption you should make, giving them the benefit of the doubt, is that everyone is already working at 100% of what they feel they can handle. If you add another 10%, you can’t expect them to be equally productive now at 110%. Thus, 10% somewhere else has got to go, and suggestions from you on what that old stuff you are expecting to (or willing to) replace, can really help.

This doesn’t just apply to executives, but to leaders and managers at every level of an organization. Adding versus replacing is contributing to workplace overwhelm every day, and in small ways that add up to BIG drags on overall productivity.

When I coach clients to do audits for process duplication within their organizations, it is amazing how much they find, and how much “Listen, I don’t want to micromanage the thing” turns into “I can’t believe we still do this!”

Even with unanimous agreement on its breakthrough merits, no matter how extraordinary your new idea or captivating project might be, it will add to workload. Excitement dims quickly when the pep rally is over, and reality sets in. You’ve got to reckon with the domino effect any new project or strategic initiative can create, by always seeking to replace, and not just add. Own the 100% and help your organization realize the full benefit of your breakthrough ideas.

(Photo courtesy of Andrew B. on Flickr)

Want more?

Click on one of the tags below to read more from the archives. Your clicks tell me what you’re most interested in, getting me to think more about those things too.

What (else) does your workplace finance?

June 24, 2010 by Rosa Say

How would you answer the question? Think of ‘workplace’ very literally, as in a physical place of communal work, where other things can, and do happen besides the work itself.

On one morning of my recent vacation I sat in Tamarind Park (Bishop Square, downtown Honolulu) having coffee and doing people-watching with daughter and boyfriend while hubby fit in a doctor’s appointment in one of these tall buildings:

Tamarind Park, Bishop Square

Boyfriend asked me if I ever missed the very, very nice office I’d had while a resort ops vp, and my answer was that I once missed some things about having that office, but I have since discovered my nostalgia to be a temporary state of affairs. The work, the conveniences, and the social relationships have all been replaced in some way to maintain or better the good (the pros), and discard the rest (the cons). Nothing is exactly the same, but the change has been good for me, forcing the shifts of new, and timely learning.

We three then began to talk story about how much work has changed since then (2003 was the year of my ‘corporate retirement’) because of our technological mobility today.

We also spoke of how you notice it more when you don’t have it — and thus you adjust faster in making those pro/con adjustments.

Others still have the office, still have the work, still have the conveniences and social relationships, and because they are “still in” them, they haven’t bothered to adjust at all, when fact is, they could have done so too.

Both daughter and boyfriend (both 26, and who both have a workPLACE) then stated quite correctly (in my opinion), “These people working here: Bet at least half of them could be sitting at home doing the exact same work they are supposed to be doing here.” “Heck, I bet it’s more like 80% of them. And why are they down here buying coffee and bagels at 9 in the morning instead of working anyway?”

Good questions. Great observations. So little is truly a brick and mortar business these days. That said, there are quite a few Downtown Everywhere office building property managers who are nervously relieved their tenants have yet to come to that aha! moment.

Another passing thought… Intriguing to imagine how many homeless we would help get off Honolulu streets and beaches if converting a single one of the skyscrapers in my photo…

What might you be “still into” with your automatic pilot? Are you financing place-of-work necessity, or someone’s too-long walk-about coffee and bagel break?

Want more? Try these:
Model Me This: There’s little use having a model you’d get an “A” for in some business course — including one of mine, because those are get-your-training-wheels places that at best, will steady you in your seat.
~ ~ ~
Manager’s Skill: Separate Signal from Noise: One of the best skills you can cultivate as a manager is separating signal from noise, understanding what you pay attention to, and what you ignore as irrelevant.
~ ~ ~
Embrace your Systems Thinker: I truly value and appreciate systems thinking; it’s the drool-over-it detail stuff of the stellar projects that dynamic workplace teams prosper within.


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RSS Current Articles at Managing with Aloha:

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