Talking Story

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Lead, Follow or Get out of the way

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You have heard this phrase before, I’m sure. You may even have said it yourself, or at least thought it… I admit that I’ve said it, and thought it several times when a younger, more inexperienced manager (politics tends to push me into that thinking still… sigh).

I do try to catch myself now, and bite my lip if necessary! At work I go for even better: I will rephrase LFOGOOTW to give people a more welcoming “we” choice, to deliberately eliminate the GOOTW sarcasm. When I sense my team has reached a degree of clarity with an issue, I ask, “would you like to lead this one, or work within your followership?” genuinely feeling that both choices have merit, just different energies, and that each person can make each choice relative to the variables at hand.

Replace innuendo with Culture-building

I’m not the only one who feels that way; it’s in our culture. Our team has talked about followership enough to know that Following is NOT a Passive Activity. Following can often go the What/How way of the managing verb (as compared to the Why/When leading verb), a great thing.

As for “…or get out of the way,” that’s not one of our options. We can’t afford bench-warming (and nobody likes it).

The trick to timing the question of lead or follow, is one of sensing people are ready for action, and feeling we’ve talked about it quite enough — at least in that stage of the project. The “lead or follow?” question turns people loose when both choices have been established as good choices in a workplace culture. Neither has that cynical dig in it (“if not, get out of the way.”) which is very un-inclusive (i.e. un-Kākou).

join the QuEuE by Maldita la hora on Flickr
join the QuEuE by Maldita la hora on Flickr

However is that enough?

In Managing with Aloha cultures, we do go for the “and” instead of the “either/or.” LFOGOOTW is a good case in point with advocating the “and” embrace, for as Dan points out in the comments, “lead, follow, or get out of the way oversimplifies things a bit.”

I remember a wonderful comment from Stephanie when we had talked about the LFOGOOTW phrase within the value-mapping we’d been doing at MWA Coaching, with the value set of Alaka‘i, Kākou, and Lōkahi:

The more I read, the more apparent it becomes that for as long as I can remember, I have been looking for others to provide me with clear answers rather than developing them on my own. In fact, I am truly grateful to the gentleman who inspired [this conversation string on “Lead, Follow, or Get out of the way.”] since I often get stuck thinking about mantras as law.

So what does this have to do with leadership? For me, the lead or follow mentality seems limiting. Much like in partnerships, where only two people are involved, it’s about taking turns. In other words, it’s about being a team-player, just like you expressed [with the value of Lōkahi]. The best leaders understand this and know when to stand down.

In an environment where all members are respectful the leader rises to the occasion with ease. Nurturing an environment that enables every member to shine is not always easy, but that is certainly my goal.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with looking to others for help with answers; in fact, learning from their lessons is quite wise. And taking turns can help — don’t think it simplistic and dismiss it. We seldom work alone or in a vacuum, and collaborative and synergistic work is what great teams engage in and thrill to.

And I love what Steph had observed, that “In an environment where all members are respectful the leader rises to the occasion with ease.” The goal she had to nurture such an environment was outstanding — truly Kākou behavior with that Ho‘ohanohano demeanor of respect.

I think about it again today (thus this post) as I wonder what direction the nascent #Occupy movement will start to take.

“Rise to the occasion” with Lōkahi

How do we allow leaders to rise to the occasion with ease as Steph says, while we continue to shape our own more progressive and proactive behavior?

Let’s revisit the Lōkahi connection: Lōkahi is the value of collaboration, harmony and unity. The pairing of Kākou and Lōkahi are the MWA values of teamwork. They are the value-drivers of the followers that leaders dream of inspiring, and having on their team.

From Managing with Aloha, under a section heading called “the role of the individual” (hardcover page 107);

“Most of the Hawaiian values really speak to personal endeavors, and the concept that all starts from within you. We are responsible for our own attitudes, our own choices, our own happiness and our own success. While Lōkahi speaks to the behavior of people within a group, its core assumption is that the group’s effectiveness comes from the choices made by the individuals within it.”

“Lōkahi asks these questions: Are you a bystander or are you truly engaged? Does your reach include the entire team, and are you being cooperative? Do you seek to understand everyone’s opinion while sharing your own? Are you looking for mutually beneficial agreement or are you settling for negotiation or compromise? Do you understand the role of every person, and are you respectful of their participation and involvement? Are you fulfilling your own role and responsibility, so that you make the contribution that is expected of you? Are you supportive and positive?”

In other words, are you a team player? Will you be the best you can be on the team that your leader of choice champions? When called upon to do so, will you be able to take your turn leading too, building upon the involvement you have had all along?

Lasting movements (progress) requires clear, directional Change

In that conversation string I pulled Steph’s comment from, we’d reconvened to talk story about self-leadership in our value-mapping process. We spoke of how our leadership vocabulary could be sharpened, and thus strengthened as “Language of Intention” (MWA Key 5).

Then we asked each other, “What is self-leadership?” and tried to focus in on it in regard to effecting change. I recall it now (and looked up our conversation archive), because of all the dissatisfaction in current affairs — something’s got to give, and people say they want change: What will it be, and how will it happen?

Nothing changes until something shifts or moves. Self-leadership is what gets us to move.

Determination - Barrel Racing - Parada del Sol Rodeo
Determination - Barrel Racing - Parada del Sol Rodeo by Alan English on Flickr

For the most part, I like change because it is vibrant and alive; it defies stagnation. I say ‘for the most part’ because there are times for calm and for stillness, but those are times for the reflection which leads to rejuvenation, and for fortifying our energies for the next leaps of movement.

That’s because nothing changes until someONE shifts or moves.

That someone is the self-led, the person who chooses self-leadership first, so they need never depend on the leadership of another to free them from any stagnation or inertia; they do so for themselves. That someone may emerge to be the leader, or one of them, but for the time being they have their own work to do.

The person who chooses self-leadership as their first experience, can then empathize with the needs of others they will eventually ask to join in, or to follow their lead. Often they need not ask; it just happens because leadership is so attractive and compelling. It’s magnetic and contageous.

The self-leadership of the value of Alaka‘i is about strong, self-impelling initiative.

It is the ability to self-energize so you always have reserves to call upon when you need them.

It is the ability to self-motivate, for motivation is an inside-job: If we’re completely honest, we will admit that no one can motivate us; we must do so for ourselves.

Self-leadership is a quest for learning more about what is possible. Therefore, there is an impatience and sense of urgency about self-leadership, for those who quest know that something bigger and better exists to be discovered or created.

The self-led have the burning desire to be the one who will do that discovering or creating.

Is that the person you are, or the person you hope to be?

I do believe that at some point in everyone’s life, they can answer, “Yes.” As Steph helped us see, it becomes our turn.

Alaka‘i may not be the most consistently called-upon value that we choose when it comes to our personal values, but I do believe it may be one that we universally share much more than others. We each have it: It’s more a question of when we choose to invoke this value, and about which of our passions, and about whether that passion is one we champion or choose another leader for.

talkingstory_header_09

Postscript: You will notice that the 1st few comments below are from August of 2009: This is a refreshing and reframing of this post when originally published then. I am doing what I encourage you to do in workplace culture-building: Repeat what you stand for to keep your language of intention alive and well. Refresh it and reframe it when necessary, and you keep it Kākou too – not everyone will have heard it the first time (or will have retained it). If it is important, put it back on stage: Alaka‘i ABCs: What do you stand for?

So I invite you to weigh in again: Let’s talk story.

If you are newly joining us, Alaka‘i was subject of the posting before this one too: Alaka‘i Leadership, Chiefs and Indians. Sections include:

  • Leadership delivers an affirmation of our values
  • What do we do, when leadership fails us?
  • Alaka‘i Leadership is a concept of abundance

Trump those Old Rules with Your Values

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Preface: If you are an Alaka‘i Manager learning the 9 Key Concepts of Managing with Aloha, this posting deals with several of them:

  • MWA Key 3: Value Alignment
  • MWA Key 4: Role of the Manager
  • MWA Key 6: ‘Ohana in Business
  • MWA Key 7: Strengths Management
  • MWA Key 8: Sense of Place
  • MWA Key 9: Unlimited Capacity

Old Rules, your days are numbered!

I’ve been doing quite a bit of one-on-one coaching lately. People are reaching out for help as they encounter the new world of work, and I’m happy to help as I can.

We always start with them describing their ‘new world’ for me, and I’m consistently amazed by how many old rules remain in play, erecting these obstacles that people struggle to understand. Thus, most of the coaching I offer has to do with managing up, and building better relationships with the people they feel are in charge, and in control at their workplace.

Our goal is always positive movement forward: We want to forge a better workplace partnership for them, and more often than not, the boss-employee relationship is the one we address.

Old rules are dispensed by old-thinking managers. By worn out, tired managers. By lazy and careless managers, and managers who are stick-in-the-mud stuck.

Surely those managers are not you!

If you are a manager, please stop for a moment’s self-reflection: Are there any old rules you’ve allowed into your workplace culture just because they’re convenient, historical, or worse, because you haven’t updated, replacing them with one of your own value-based rules?

A healthy workplace culture isn’t created by rules. It’s fostered by the managers who map out that culture’s movement with relevant values (e-book link), and then allow common sense to rule.

An old rule is a sacred cow which keeps fattening itself up in your pasture, lazily eating your resources and tromping through your meadowland, even though it won’t reciprocate in any way, and won’t contribute to the worthy cause of your business. It’s not a dairy cow, it’s not a beef cow, it’s not the father or mother of a hopeful generation. It’s a costly, expensive drain on the character and health of a place — a scar on your sense of place.

Used Cows for Sale

Alaka‘i Managers know they simply can’t afford sacred cows. Not now, not ever.

Sometimes, old rules are self-inflicted. People assume they have to follow them, when in fact, they don’t. No one else notices (no manager cares enough), and people continue down the wrong path. It’s a path paved with frustration, and one road block after another.

Issues define problems. People define potential.

Here’s an example.

In most organizations large enough to have different divisions, there’s been a long-standing old rule that “we don’t transfer problems.” It started with good intentions (most rules do) connected to keeping buck-passing out of the workplace with the culture-driven, value-aligned encouragement to own your problems, confront them head on, and solve them in a way that completely ferreted out any deeply rooted causes. If a problem or issue started with your division, chances are you remain closest to it; your team is likely the best team to address it.

Here’s where that old rule went wrong: We didn’t keep it focused on issues. We applied it to people who didn’t fit in the team or boss-subordinate equation for some reason, and it became an unspoken HR rule everyone towed the line with: ‘Problem people’ weren’t ever transferred either — and more often than not, they can be, and should be as a strategy of optimal workforce development; abundant choice is one of the advantages of larger organizations!

Misjudged people have become our good people souring in poor places, feeling hopelessly stuck or stereotyped. They never had a chance with finding their right fit and new lease on life elsewhere in the company — they were ignored or put out to pasture with progressive discipline, and their true strengths were never revealed. Their managers were tacitly allowed to dismiss them.

It’s been tragic, and still is, the number of times someone representing a wealth of experience and future potential is named a “problem child” because their manager fails to create a powerful partnership with them, and no one else will give them a chance. We are seeing how this old rule turned assumption keeps fresh talent out of hiring as well, because of the chronic dysfunction in the referral process: We still see scarlet letters on applicant chests, and fail to question the other people who put them there.

Coaches like me do a lot of Ho‘ohanohano work with giving people their dignity back: We have to convince them they aren’t broken, that they are strong and worthy, and they do have the talent, skills, and knowledge someone in their world is just chomping at the bit for. We get them to own it and bring it as a golden partnership ready to happen, and happen quickly: We help them define these things with useful and relevant clarity, so they can apply them with a positive outlook and renewed sense of optimism.

And not just coaches like me. That’s what ALL Alaka‘i Managers do.

“People catch their own weaknesses.
Your job, is to catch and encourage their strengths,
and those strengths aren’t usually clear.”
— Failure isn’t cool. Neither is weakness

What other old rules are still roaming your workplace meadowland?

Beware of Invisible Cows

Question and freshen your rules constantly.

Rules can be good. For instance, I use them to clarify our managing and leading verbs, but if you use them, honor them in a Language of Intention. Be sure they’re YOUR rules and not assumptions you’ve allowed into the culture which were actually inherited from someone else’s intentions and values.

A D5M Listening Goal: Identify Partner Gifts

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Let’s take another look at the circular “Career Adventure” graphic shared yesterday from another perspective, one within the Alaka‘i Manager’s gifting of The Daily Five Minutes.

If you’re already doing the D5M, yet suspect you could recharge your practice with it, this post is for you!

The core purpose of The Daily Five Minutes is this: Managers seek to know those on their team better, by gifting them with 5 minutes of their full attention (one person, one day at a time) so each person can feel they are fully heard — and thus, fully valued.

How better can you value someone, than by giving them a forum in which to explore their creative gifts?

SIDEBAR: Learn more about The Daily Five Minutes HERE if you are new to Talking Story and hearing about it for the first time. Know too, that in Managing with Aloha we call our teammates ‘partners’ instead of ‘employees.’

The agenda of the D5M conversation is up to the partner, (in their gracious receiving) and not the manager (in their generous giving), and managers are encouraged to take what they hear at face value, so both people can speak into it directly, and honestly.

D5Mdiscover

Our D5M goal to LISTEN does not change

A manager’s patience is required in the beginning of a D5M giver/receiver relationship, for the manager-as-giver has no say in the agenda; you have to listen to, and acknowledge whatever is said. And in the beginning, that simple, pure purpose is vitally important, for the depth of your attention is another kind of gauge — one by which your receiver assesses the degree of your listening sincerity, and your Ho‘ohanohano respect for them.

As a manager, you must resist any urges you have to overly influence your partner/receiver’s agendas — you’re supposed to be taking a break from ‘managing’ in the D5M (and from talking too much at all) and just listen and respond to what they want. Their agendas are important to them, and you must demonstrate that they are therefore important to you.

So if you are starting brand new D5M relationships, I want you to read the rest of this posting as what you can anticipate doing over time. To use the wise coaching of Stephen R. Covey in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, a book highly recommended by Carol Eikleberry (and me!) for character-building, you can “Begin with the End in Mind.”

‘The End’ I propose to you, is that you are listening as deeply as you can, no matter what is said in a D5M, to better understand what your partner/receiver’s gifts are. You are simply listening deeper, and framing what is actually said (and what you must respond to directly), so you can hear talent talking.

After knowing them ‘better’ seek to know them ‘thoroughly’

Once a person begins to identify their own gifts, they can’t help but talk about them. However most of us don’t have someone we can talk to about our gifts, where we don’t feel like we’re bragging or wallowing in selfish, arrogant ho‘okano pride, but are supposed to talk about them, and can do so in the context of work that everyone would love to have us magnificently perform each day.

Another note on this, is that few people will call their potential a gift: You are the one who has to listen that way.

You are listening for clues to their talents, their strengths, and for ways they feel they can overcome any weaknesses. You are listening for what fills them with energy versus what saps it away. You are listening for what they want to learn about, or grow into, and why, trying to zero in on what they will then do with their new knowledge and/or skills.

For instance, if nearly all Claire talks to you about in her D5M opportunities are about conflicts between other people on the team, is she gossiping, or is she highly empathetic, and sensitive to person-to-person conflicts that affect overall work productivity? Can she be equally sensitive in watching for more solutions too, having the benefit of your coaching to groom her empathy more proactively?

This might sound tricky to you at first, but trust me on this, it actually isn’t difficult at all once you have intentionally set out to practice it, much in the same way that if I tell you to “Look around for the color blue,” you begin to see it everywhere, and even when I say, “Enough already!”

Plus when someone feels that talking about their own gifts is expected and welcomed, the floodgates will open, and managers needn’t be good investigative detectives — they just have to listen with the intention of receiving the information well.

So what is “receiving it well?” It’s helping your partners find more ways that they can move to the next step in the Career Adventure circle, from accepting their gifts, to working with their gifts with your full support and blessing — and your coaching and mentorship.

In short, the D5M gives you a way where no one need to take a more creative career adventure alone.

Begin to carry a brand new D5M coaching notebook!

Take another look at this graphic. Write the name of your next D5M partner/receiver in the middle of the circle, and ask yourself: What do I already know about their gifts (strengths, skills, ability, capacity), and what must I still learn about them?

Work With Your Gifts

The reality of so many workplaces is that people may know their gifts, but not feel they have the permission and liberty to use them in more creative ways. So dear manager, give them that permission and liberty, along with your blessing and willingness to help them.

If you click directly on this post’s version of the graphic above, you’ll be taken to my Flickr page, where you can download it in different sizes. Make a bunch of copies, one for each person on your team you’re giving The Daily Five Minutes to, and use it for another 2 or 3 minutes of note-taking when your next D5M with them is over: What gifts did you hear about, and where is your partnership on the circle?

Then, next time you have some project assignments to make, pull out your notebook and flip through it: Which of your D5M partners are ready for a new, and very relevant connection?

TED Talk: Barry Schwartz on our Loss of Wisdom

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In thinking about common sense [Required of all Managers: ‘Common Sense’ only it isn’t] I remembered an exceptional TED talk by Barry Schwartz.

Could it be that the real crisis goes farther, and that we have stopped being wise?

“Change talking”

In the time since I’d first listened to this, I’ve been using three phrases in my Language of Intention [MWA Key 5] thanks to Schwartz: Moral will, moral skill, and practical wisdom. They are being used for the value-mapping process within my own companies. All three are attractive concepts I’m wowed and Aloha-aligned by, and as you know, I believe that language of intention works to effect change: This is “Change talking” ~

  1. Use clearly defined vocabulary which inspires you.
  2. Weave those words and phrases into your daily Language of Intention, i.e. make them personal, relevant, practical and useful.
  3. Speak to what you want, and speak into it often. Speak into it as a driving force of your Ho‘ohana.
  4. Now walk your talk.
  5. Keep talking. However don’t just broadcast, converse. Learn from people.

You’ll feel you need value-aligned actions if you keep talking about them! Your integrity will cry foul if you don’t honor your good words by giving them life — ‘Imi ola life.

“There’s no story I can tell you, that is as powerful
as the story you can tell yourself.”
— storyteller Iain Thomas

Getting back our Practical Wisdom

Please take the next 21 minutes to watch this presentation: I was so grateful that Schwartz was true to his notes for his message was very well written. A complete transcript is available at TED. I would have titled it more positively, as Getting back our Practical Wisdom, for I think that is the true value of this talk and the inspiration Schwartz offers us.


Barry Schwartz on our loss of wisdom:
Barry Schwartz makes a passionate call for “practical wisdom” as an antidote to a society gone mad with bureaucracy. He argues powerfully that rules often fail us, incentives often backfire, and practical, everyday wisdom will help rebuild our world.

My transcript notes/ related links:

Preface:
The rest of this post is me using my blog programming+data bank for me, and my own deep study, though you are welcome to use it too if you find it helpful… at first it will look like a ton of self-promoting links, and it is self-serving in a way: What I did was pull out parts of the TED transcript I found most compelling, and then I linked it up with what I have written in the past so I could see where I stood with these concepts, i.e. as I spoke of above, making them personal, relevant, practical and useful.

  • If I want the moral will, moral skill, and practical wisdom Schwartz speaks of, where am I with them now? (The links hold my clues.)
  • What more must I learn? What are the obstacles? Where is the value-alignment [MWA Key 3] which will help me best?
  • What begs revisiting (more “Change talking”), for I got started with it, but it’s not yet inculcated into my trusted system, or into my workplace culture?

If there is anything here you would like to talk story about more, let me know…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This is the job description of a hospital janitor [scrolling up on the screen.] All of the items on it are unremarkable. They’re the things you would expect: mop the floors, sweep them, empty the trash, restock the cabinets. It may be a little surprising how many things there are, but it’s not surprising what they are. But the one thing I want you to notice about them is this: Even though this is a very long list, there isn’t a single thing on it that involves other human beings. Not one.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Practical wisdom,” Aristotle told us, “is the combination of moral will (do right by other people) and moral skill (figuring out what moral will means, and requires of them).”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It takes lots of experience to learn how to care for people. The good news is you don’t need to be brilliant to be wise. The bad news is that without wisdom, brilliance isn’t enough. It’s as likely to get you and other people into trouble as anything else.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scott Simon said, “Rules and procedures may be dumb, but they spare you from thinking.”

When things go wrong, as of course they do, we reach for two tools to try to fix them. One tool we reach for is rules. Better ones, more of them. The second tool we reach for is incentives. Better ones, more of them. What else, after all, is there?

The truth is that neither rules nor incentives are enough to do the job. … Rules and incentives may make things better in the short run, but they create a downward spiral that makes them worse in the long run. Moral skill is chipped away by an over-reliance on rules that deprives us of the opportunity to improvise and learn from our improvisations. And moral will is undermined by an incessant appeal to incentives that destroy our desire to do the right thing. And without intending it, by appealing to rules and incentives, we are engaging in a war on wisdom.

The truth is that there are no incentives that you can devise that are ever going to be smart enough. Any incentive system can be subverted by bad will. We need incentives. People have to make a living. But excessive reliance on incentives demoralizes professional activity in two senses of that word. It causes people who engage in that activity to lose morale and it causes the activity itself to lose morality.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Barack Obama said, before he was inaugurated, “We must ask not just ‘Is it profitable?’ but ‘Is it right?'” And when professions are demoralized everyone in them becomes dependent on — addicted to — incentives and they stop asking “Is it right?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So what can we do? We ought to try to re-moralize work.

Celebrate moral exemplars. Acknowledge, when you go to law school, that a little voice is whispering in your ear about Atticus Finch. No ten-year-old goes to law school to do mergers and acquisitions. People are inspired by moral heroes. Acknowledge them. Be proud that you have them. Celebrate them. And demand that the people who teach you acknowledge them and celebrate them too. That’s one thing we can do.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And you don’t have to be a mega-hero. There are ordinary heroes. Ordinary heroes like the janitors who are worth celebrating too. As practitioners each and everyone of us should strive to be ordinary, if not extraordinary heroes. As heads of organizations, we should strive to create environments that encourage and nurture both moral skill and moral will. Even the wisest and most well-meaning people will give up if they have to swim against the current in the organizations in which they work.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If you run an organization you should be sure that none of the jobs have job descriptions like the job descriptions of the janitors. Because the truth is that any work that you do that involves interaction with other people is moral work. And any moral work depends upon practical wisdom.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And, perhaps most important, as teachers, we should strive to be the ordinary heroes, the moral exemplars, to the people we mentor. There are a few things that we have to remember as teachers. One is that we are always teaching. Someone is always watching. The camera is always on.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

[KIPP the Knowledge is Power Program has] come to the realization that the single most important thing kids need to learn is character. They need to learn to respect themselves. They need to learn to respect their schoolmates. They need to learn to respect their teachers. And, most important, they need to learn to respect learning. That’s the principle objective. If you do that, the rest is just pretty much a coast downhill. The way you teach these things to the kids is by having the teachers and all the other staff embody it every minute of every day.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Obama appealed to virtue. And I think he was right. And the virtue I think we need above all others is practical wisdom, because it’s what allows other virtues — honesty, kindness, courage and so on — to be displayed at the right time and in the right way. He also appealed to hope. Right again. I think there is reason for hope. I think people want to be allowed to be virtuous.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Wanting to do the right thing in the right way for the right reasons. This kind of wisdom is within the grasp of each and every one of us if only we start paying attention. Paying attention to what we do, to how we do it, and, perhaps most importantly, to the structure of the organizations in which we work, so as to make sure that it enables us and other people to develop wisdom rather than having it suppressed.