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The Care and Feeding of your Talking Story Subscription

February 8, 2010 by Rosa Say

As the years of my life have marched by, one of the lessons I have always been challenged by, is asking for what I want. I have to push myself to practice asking for just about everything, and I’ll bet you do too.

Even though I know nearly everyone else in the human race has the same challenge with asking, it doesn’t make it any easier for me.

We have to be brave, stick our necks out, and ask for all sorts of things. Asking invites nourishment. As a mother, I taught my children to ask, and ask assertively and without apology, as a survival skill they’d need when speaking with intimidating adults. Choosing the right words, and articulating our asking helps us be clearer about what we think we want, or might need.

Fact it, people don’t always know what we want, and they can’t read our minds. (Believe me, your boss really, really struggles with this… happen to watch Undercover Boss on CBS last night?)

More often than not, people will surprise you by simply saying “Okay, sure, I can do that.”

Ask, and it shall be given to you;
seek, and ye shall find;
knock and it shall be opened unto you.

For every one that asketh, receiveth;
and he that seeketh, findeth;
and to him that knocketh
it shall be opened.
—Matthew 7:7-8

So here goes… an asking which concerns the care and feeding of Talking Story.

Your RSS reading of the blog (via something like BlogLines or Google Reader, or the Alltop Leadership aggregator) is a wonderful start, and I thank you for deciding to subscribe at all, with the number of choices which are available to you. However in today’s offering of a gazillion blogs and websites, the care and feeding of Talking Story requires even more.

Please consider switching to an email subscription

As a writer who blogs, I feel so acknowledged and appreciated by you who subscribe to Talking Story via email: It tells me you don’t want to miss anything, affirming the effort which goes into publishing the blog, and encouraging me to continue.

Email subscriptions (Click here to get yours) also help you share Talking Story posts with others more easily, so that we can spread the Managing with Aloha mission here, and invite more voices into our conversation. You can print the emails you receive, to talk about workplace concerns in your huddles and meetings. You can forward the emails to whomever you feel the subject matter will be of interest to that particular day: Doing so lets them know you are aware of their challenges or opportunities, that you were thinking about them, and that you care enough to reach out and make the effort. It’s a win-win!

Please click in!

Even better? It is so great when you have an email subscription, yet click directly to the blog to read my post here, immersing yourself in the full “online experience” that email programs and workplaces can firewall out. Even if you choose to silently read and not comment for some reason, your clicks will tell me you were here, and I will know.

Do you know what really sets my heart on fire, and encourages me even more? When we talk story in the way the blog platform makes it possible for us to do so, setting an example for managers in the brave conversations we will engage within here. As you know, I feel we don’t talk story enough in our workplaces; it’s another challenge we need more practice with.

Clicks are the care, and comments are the feeding.

Another thing to remember, is that as the author of Talking Story I start conversations, but I am not always the one to finish them. The email alert you received will never reveal the comments which have been added by others in our Ho‘ohana Community (like this particularly generous one yesterday from Rich). When you are interested in an on-going conversation you can also subscribe to it individually, making it easy to follow along as things progress.

Come talk story here on the blog, won’t you?

That wasn’t so bad! You can practice this too. Use the comments of this posting today to ask me, or others in our Managing with Aloha Ho‘ohana Community, for what you want.

Mahalo nui loa, thank you so much. Good people that you are, you made this pretty easy for me!

Rosa Say

Take 5 in 2010 Game-Changing; a February update

February 7, 2010 by Rosa Say

Preface for any who may be new, or occasional readers:

Subscriptions to Talking Story have spiked in the last week since we said Aloha to Joyful Jubilant Learning, and I am thrilled to have you here. THRILLED. I assure you, joyful learning will always be a part of Talking Story (learning is my Hawaiian value of ‘Ike loa); I cannot imagine it being otherwise.

Reading back over this posting, which follows, I also feel I should explain something. There’s a lot of self-indulgent “me” in it, offered up to you as the silent question, “Perhaps you too?”

There are times my posts will “talk story out loud” as a clarity-seeking extension of my own self-talk, and it usually happens on Sundays, a Mālama [stewardship, within caring] day for me. So a truthful caveat that my writing today is normal for me, as the person I am, but not post-normal as the author ofTalking Story, who seeks to deliver more concise writing to you that is not as lengthy, nor with as many posited yet unanswered questions. If you skip this one you will not hurt my feelings, truly. However if you have the time to read it, it might also be the quickest “pleased to meet you,” catch-up, and/or reconnecting you can possibly do with me, for I am committed to giving Talking Story my good stuff, and not the clutter, interesting as it may be, or the sometimes noisy clatter. It’s just that the process of it all needs a writer’s rambling room at times. Sundays suit, are Mālama kind and patient.

A seemingly opposite (but very connected) aside: I also discovered Iain Thomas’s TED talk yesterday, which is a very compelling way to learn about you and not me, and I highly recommend it:

“You and I, We are the Same.” Yet”“we’ve grown up in this digital space, where identity is entirely optional.” —Iain Thomas

You can watch it on my Tumblr, Ho‘ohana Aloha. Click here to see the video (9:28 long).

Glorious weekends, we love thee

It’s Sunday. For many on this particular Sunday, that means the Colts versus the Saints within SuperBowl XLIV with a supporting cast of million-dollar commercial spots. For me, that means thinking and taking stock on a day others in my sports-fanatic household are more than happy to give me that space, especially after I’ve prepped with a great Weekly Review done on Saturday. If the game is good, they’ll have it on tape.

There is no better “taking stock” for me, than following up on something. Then ‘better,’ becomes more meaningful when that following up is with my current Ho‘ohana [my work intention]:
Take 5 in 2010: A Game-Changing Ho‘ohana is what we now turn to updating.

Why game-changing?

No, it’s not more within a SuperBowl metaphor. Game-changing is the first question I answer for myself when the years morph from one into another: Do you want to change your game, whatever it may be, or do you want to tweak the same one, and improve it in some way?

In my case, the 2009 shift into 2010 answer had to do with learning new and different versus more of the same, as a wanting that was tugging at my insides. It was connected to how my learning directly affects my ‘doing’ of most everything (i.e. my productivity: Am I busy, or accomplished? Big difference.)

As the saying goes, “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll likely get what you’ve always gotten.” Einstein gave this another twist” he defined insanity as doing the same things but expecting different results. Provocative coaching.

Mahalo for being here, and helping

Rands tweeted: “As you write, you need to take your readers with you.”

I think this Sunday is good for that purpose, for much has happened. Besides, as I write, and share things I find and discover, I will take myself with me too, in that “when the student is ready, the teacher appears” kind of way.

Your words can move you if you let them

I have written that adopting mantras can be powerful. In Managing with Aloha, we refer to it as the power of our Language of Intention [MWA Key Concept #5] for the words we speak and act upon are incredibly quick and efficient in effecting shift in workplace culture.

Sometimes I will rediscover this key myself, and on a very personal basis, and by now you’d think I’d no longer be surprised by the way that works, but I am. Keeping my sense of wonder about it all is good, I suppose” yes. We have to know that there are forces at play stronger than we are, fragile and mistake-prone humans that we are (hmmm” more to explore here with the concept of love as a strengthener” will table the thought, for now.)

My Ho‘ohana Sculpting. MWA is inseparable

Back in December, as 2010 drew to a close, I posted Take 5 in 2010: A Game-Changing Ho‘ohana. In brief, updated form, the thoughts, and possible mantras within it, were these:

  • “My overall strategy for 2010 became clear to me early on: Less will be more.”
  • “Taking 5 has proved so good for me in the past, and I trust it. Here are the 5 things I now consider the lumps of clay awaiting my own Ho‘ohana sculpting throughout 2010:”

1. Say Leadership Coaching (my business umbrella) will serve Great Managers directly

Learning and stretching is glorious: They grow you. However the truth is that I had allowed too much mission-creep to sway me from my own Ho‘ohana focus. And guess what? In the process of better focus, we can do much for everyone who aspires to self-manage, and self-lead, or manage and lead with their ideas and demonstrative illustrations versus by managing others.

2. M/L Practical: The 30/70 Mission of Managing with Aloha

“M/L Practical” refers to leadership (L) creating energy as our greatest resource, with management (M) channeling that energy in the best possible way. 30/70 is a weekly measurement and action application of the time we devote to each: 30% to leading and 70% to managing. Generally I will write on leading each Tuesday, and on managing each Thursday, with publishing at Say Alaka‘i keeping me on track.

3. Jobs Reinvented and Delivered for Best Livelihood

Not only are business models being reinvented post the “Great Recession;” so is work, job, and career. Do we understand our true relationship with wealth? Our values can help guide us: Values are the Bedrock of Hard Reality.

4. Small and Nimble Self-Managing Teams and Tribes

And small and nimble everything else, it turns out. Self-reliance is speaking up in a louder voice too, a voice we all should welcome, I think. Teams and tribes demand that choices are made. Choices about involvement, about managing, about leading, about good following. There are choices about commitment, the honoring of character, and respect for culture.

5. Critical, Consistent, Clear Communication: “Communication is huge and we need a focus.”

Increasingly true, each and every day. It presses on me, hard and insistent. It battles within me constantly: Communicate, yet quietly reflect first. Communicate with clarity, yet be open to ambiguity and variance. Communicate, yet debrief in private, and self-edit.

Each point has gotten sharpened or strengthened, has spoken up louder, or has intensified somehow. These past few weeks have been affirming and amazing.

For today, and to wrap this up in some way, these are two milestones” movable rocks I am painting with emotional images (like those torches the final 3 burn on Survivor!)” polished stones I will hold in my hand to feel their presence, solidity and strength”

Of Significance: 1. Learning is a never-ending Project

But even learning needs boundaries.

7 short days ago, I declared “game over” for Joyful Jubilant Learning: Learning Healthy and Joyful Endings. I surprised many with my decision; I surprised myself. There were others who completely understood, or who were not surprised at all, or who had wondered why it took me as long as it did to arrive at my place of ending. Not-so-oddly when you think about it, these others were some of the ones closest to the project.

Today, a mere week later, I can best think of Joyful Jubilant Learning as a project of stellar proportions, and not a blog I ended. “Project” does not minimize it in any way, believe me. I love, and thrive in Wow Projects. JJL was stellar in that it challenged me, and others, to open up our learning in Palena ‘ole capacity-stretching. Palena ‘ole is MWA Key Concept #9:

9. Palena ‘ole (Unlimited Capacity):

This is your exponential growth stage, and about seeing your bigger and better leadership dreams come to fruition. Think “Legacy.” Create abundance by honoring capacity; physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. Seek inclusive, full engagement and optimal productivity, and scarcity will be banished.

Learning is a never-ending project for all human beings who want to grow, believing in their own unlimited capacity. Yet we do have to manage our Learning within focus-sharpening boundaries with reasonable edges at times, making it a “short and deep” project of significance with a defined beginning and decision-bearing end. Otherwise, it can take over everything else.

For some, learning at JJL meant community. For others, learning with JJL meant “learning apart together.” Thank you so very much Lodewijk for that clarity. To you who chose that route, silently yet resolutely sticking with us in spirit whenever we vocal JJLers nagged you to be more visibly involved, I admire you, and better appreciate you now, if indeed you stuck with your learning.

Stellar Wow Projects give back in many ways, and , as raw as it still feels for some of us, I am very confident that JJL will continue to give.

Of Significance: 2. Communication benefits greatly from Sense of Place

I think this one also connects to “Less is more” and “Small and nimble.” I am still craving more FOCUS and as a publisher, I am fully aware how much every part of my life marches to the rhythm of how and what I am communicating in any point in time in different team circles.

And oh, what a vicious circle this can be…

Accomplishing is a smaller chunk than all of doing.
Can we do less, yet accomplish more?

Doing is a smaller chunk than all of communicating.
Can we communicate less, but get more done?

Communicating is a smaller chunk than all of thinking.
Can we think less, yet communicate more?

Thinking is a smaller chunk than all of learning.
Can we learn less, yet think more about our learning?

While critical, learning is smaller than the largeness of living.
And in our living, place can mean almost everything.

Another thing that JJL taught me so well, painfully so at times, was that communities and teams are defined by place too, not just people.

To help me focus on my game-changing in 2010, I need to recommit to Sense of Place [MWA Key Concept #8] in some tangible ways which are connected to how and where I communicate. So these are my decisions going forward, with where, for some very practical and tactical reasons, I will communicate from.

You will see more detail evolve as it happens; all need some transition time and may not start immediately, but soon. All are already in process. As usual, I start with Ho‘ohana intentions in the form of another Take 5: My manageable, small chunk of choice.

  1. One place as “true blog” and that is here, at Talking Story, my mothership. I have changes planned for all the other domain names I own and publish under the Ho‘ohana Publishing umbrella; stay tuned.
  2. One place as “Hawai‘i citizen publisher” and “my local” and that will be at Say “Alaka‘i.”
  3. One place in “conversational web-based social media” and that will be on Twitter, and simplified in one account @rosasay. I make no apology for other places I share or broadcast online and choose not to converse; it is intentional.
  4. One place from which I will draw subject matter for any additional writing I do as a guest author, and one place from which all business models, coaching, writing, speaking presentations, teaching workshops, and new projects will flow in 2010. It is the one place from which all value-alignment will root, and remain fertile, and that is Managing with Aloha.
  5. A place I will still say “no” to throughout 2010, despite the more popular web marketing “wisdom” we are bombarded with: I will not be doing any email newsletters over and above, or different from the ways you can now get my publishing alerts directly into your inbox: Via Feedburner subscriptions to either this blog, Talking Story (click here), or if you want even more, my Tumblr, Ho‘ohana Aloha (click here).

Clarity is such a beautiful thing! It is kind. It can soothe and heal.

Where do you stand with your Ho‘ohana, this 6th Sunday into 2010? Mālama yourself. It feels really, really wonderful.

Photo Credits: Posse of painted stones by Isot pihvit pizzat on Flickr

Hiding from the Web is Foolish: 5 Steps to Smarter

April 7, 2009 by Rosa Say for Say “Alaka‘i”

~ Originally published on Say “Alaka‘i” April 2009 ~
Hiding from the Web is foolish: 5 Steps to Smarter

Mac stillness

mac stillness by shapeshift on Flickr

Today, a story I hope will be your call to action. You may find that you don’t need the advice I offer, but I’m betting you know someone who does, and I’m hoping you will share this.

Remember these snippets? They were in an article I had written here last month called, Communication is our Killer App:

“Build a community of those you love and who love you.”

—Mitch Albom, author of The Five People You Meet in Heaven

To love people, to share your Aloha with them as a community, you have to continually create ways that you can communicate with them. You have to make it easy for those people to communicate with each other too” Ultimately, we learn most from each other.

—Me, here and at Say “Alaka‘i”

“The process of connection is highly proactive. So are most successful people” your network is your net worth.”

—Tim Sanders, author of Love is the Killer App

Please, please take them to heart!

This past Friday afternoon, I discovered that earlier that morning, a very talented young woman had thrown in the towel with the job she had, and walked away. No pink slip; she left on her own, disenchanted and impatient.

I wasn’t that surprised, for I had spent some time chatting with her at a party we both went to a couple of weeks ago. As we found ourselves alone on a bench in our host’s garden, she allowed her job frustration to tumble out and told me that she was thinking of leaving her employer. I didn’t say much and mostly gave her a willing ear, for at the time it seemed she needed someone to just listen to her; she had a lot pent up inside that needed to come out. As we ended the conversation, she’d been wondering if she had enough bravery to try self-employment for a while, for she knew she had the talent required in her field, and it was work she still loved doing, but she lacked confidence with the business modeling of selling herself and was at a loss with how to get started.

So Friday afternoon, my first inclination was to call her and offer some help, for I quickly had thought of a few ideas for her and wanted to do whatever I could to help her get started. My messenger was sure she was not leaving to accept another job. Now that I knew she was free to start something new and exciting my brain was firing on all cylinders and I started to get pretty excited about her prospects and what she could begin to do.

Problem was, I couldn’t get hold of her.

— sent her an email and it got bounced back with no forwarding: She wasn’t in my address book and so I had just guessed at the one she would have had at her old workplace domain.

— tried a couple of guesses with our local Hawai‘i providers and even mac.com. No luck, all bounced back.

— called her workplace, and got the “no longer with us and we cannot release any information” CYA-legal run around.

— looked her up in the phone book, and found she was unlisted.

— searched for her on Google. Nothing.

— searched for her on LinkedIn. Nothing.

— searched for her on Twitter. Nothing.

— last try, I called the host of the party we’d both gone to. On Spring Break vacation with his family, and I could only leave a hopeful voicemail for when he gets back.

At this point I thought to myself, “Are you kidding me?”

In this day of digitally-savvy workplaces, super-connectivity, cool-and-fun social media, and available work at a VERY high premium, are YOU this hard to get hold of when someone is trying to help you?

I understand that people need and want their privacy, but this situation is just plain dumb. Break out of your scaredy-cat shell of web privacy and anonymity, and learn to be okay with getting found. Just get found on your own terms.

Here are a couple of suggestions, and they are for ANYONE, not only managers and leaders:

FIRST ”“ and do this NOW if you need to ”“ be sure you have an email address separate from the one you have at work. I highly recommend GMail; love it because I can access it from any computer on the planet, not just mine. People love it because typing @gmail.com for you is so short and easy. It is features-packed and fun. Maybe best of all is that if it ever goes down it is up again very quickly ”“ who else can afford the techno-geek wizards they have on call 24/7 for us? And did I mention it’s FREE? Learn more at their blog if you must, but all you need to do is sign up and learn it as you use it.

SECOND ”“ click over and sign up for LinkedIn and build a profile there connected to that GMail address you just got. You can keep your email address confidential there if you want to, and people can get hold of you through the program with you having the option of who you want to respond to. Make sure you get to 100% completion with your profile ”“ picture too. You actually lessen your risk of identity theft elsewhere when people have a place to verify your name and your photo. Search for others in your same profession, and study their profiles. Make yours sound better. And did I mention it’s FREE?

THIRD ”“ sign up for Twitter ”“ even if you have absolutely no intention of using it! Twitter is on fire right now, and everyone with an account is using the app to search for other people by name, by profession, and by emerging trend: I do almost daily. Here is an inactive Twitter account that I have parked: AlohaRosa. Refer to it as an example of how you can also just ‘park’ an account for now with your real name and the same picture you put on LinkedIn, with a message like I have there. Mine points people to my primary website because I want to meet them, and am inviting them to start a conversation with me giving them several choices. Using this strategy I’ve outlined so far, you can point to the profile you have just completed on LinkedIn. And did I mention it’s FREE?

FOURTH ”“ go back to LinkedIn and optimize your learning of what is offered there, and begin to use the features offered, such as posting a daily update (just 140 characters, one sentence a day). Invite others to connect with you and begin to build your network. Be upfront about the work you are looking for (work, not just jobs). Start to talk story with people on Answers. Think about joining a group: I have one for Managing with Aloha you can check out, and you can compare your new profile with mine: I am thinking of upgrading mine to a paid program because I am becoming such a fan, but as of this writing you will see just how much you can do for free.

FIFTH ”“ get published. I DON’T mean you have to write a book ”“ keep reading. The most potent search juice you can have today, whether with Google, Yahoo, or any kind of search, is to a blog post, even more than a fancy-shmancy website, because blog platforms keep ‘pinging’ the web when they are updated. Find a blogger you respect and admire because of the community they are creating (you have about 40 choices with The Honolulu Advertiser, and dozens more within our Ho‘ohana Community) and offer to do a guest posting for them on something you feel is a reflection of your beliefs, your values, and your ideas. Reputable bloggers will happily offer you a tagline so people can learn more from you: Ask them to link your article back to your LinkedIn profile. They’ll do it for you and you need not know a single line of HTML code ”“ all they need from you is a short but smart and interesting essay in the body of your new GMail account.

If you write about Alaka‘i management, about ‘Ike loa learning, about Ho‘ohana work or Kākou communication, I have three blogs I can personally offer you, and the people who have been kind enough to recommend me on LinkedIn will tell you I’m a fairly decent coach, editorial manager and publisher.

Please don’t be like the young lady in my story. Get found the smart way. You will be surprised how many people are ready to help you be successful.

Sure, there are jerks, trolls and spammers out in internet land, but they are vastly outnumbered by the good guys, we who are the ladies and gentlemen and Aloha-spirited people of social media today. Understand that you may be resisting the web at your own peril. Why not learn to ‘play offense’ instead of cowering in defense?

Let’s talk story:
I know many of you reading this are already very web-savvy. Do you have more tips to share those just getting started with building a good web presence?

Comment here, or via the tweet-conversation we have on Twitter @sayalakai.

Postscript: For the cynics out there who have a tendency to wonder about these things, I have no professional association or affiliate programs with GMail, LinkedIn or Twitter. They are great programs, I use them personally and find them both easy to use and effective, and hence I recommend them as a way you can smartly begin to build your web presence.

~ ~ ~

Hc_badge100x50Additional Links:
This Talking Story version of my article is chock full of links: Hover your mouse over them to preview their titles. To get the most out of this article today, I would recommend that you:

  1. Read the article through once without clicking on any links.
  2. Read it a second time clicking only on the links within the 5 Steps to Smarter I am recommending you take with establishing your web presence.
  3. You can come back to this thereafter to read the other articles I offer you as related reading.

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