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Whose Confidence Should We Be Talking About?

October 1, 2011 by Rosa Say

Economist Paul Krugman makes a good point in writing of our Phony Fear Factor:

“Extended periods of ‘jobless recovery’ after recessions have been the rule for the past two decades. Indeed, private-sector job growth since the 2007-2009 recession has been better than it was after the 2001 recession.

We might add that major financial crises are almost always followed by a period of slow growth, and U.S. experience is more or less what you should have expected given the severity of the 2008 shock.

Still, isn’t there something odd about the fact that businesses are making large profits and sitting on a lot of cash but aren’t spending that cash to expand capacity and employment? No.

After all, why should businesses expand when they’re not using the capacity they already have? The bursting of the housing bubble and the overhang of household debt have left consumer spending depressed and many businesses with more capacity than they need and no reason to add more. Business investment always responds strongly to the state of the economy, and given how weak our economy remains you shouldn’t be surprised if investment remains low. If anything, business spending has been stronger than one might have predicted given slow growth and high unemployment.”

What I would add to this, is that we in business have to lead more assertively, and much more quickly. We have the power to affect change, and we’re not doing it:

“I think what business people are saying – hey, we’re gonna pull back, sit on the sidelines, and let the country make a decision as to which way they want to go in.”
— Quote: Robert L. Johnson, founder of Black Entertainment Television

That’s simply unacceptable. And it’s downright foolish. If we’re as unhappy with the government as we say we are, why are we so willing to let them be our misguided saviors? Get action back in your own two hands, and stop giving away your power so naively.

Confidence resides in YOU

It’s true that ‘consumer confidence’ is low — it’s low because uncertainty is so high, and we’re being prudent, saving whatever dollars we have as a contingency strategy. Arguably, this is something we should’ve been doing all along — it’s called living within our means (i.e. our actual earnings) AND having an emergency fund for ourselves, versus living on credit and over-extending ourselves. Our low in consumer confidence is actually part of a healthier self-correction: Something like walking away from a mortgage contract we’d signed shouldn’t be the kind of choices good people feel forced to make.

So that’s the quick diagnosis of ‘consumer confidence.’ Fine. Now, let’s talk business confidence. Let’s talk about your confidence with the work you know can be done, and done right now, today, because you are doing it.

Let’s talk about your confidence in business as the great enabler it is, working on those time-honored concepts of strategic initiative, mission, and vision. Let’s talk about your confidence as a business person, business manager, and business leader with good ideas, because working in business is what YOU do. Let’s demonstrate those things, and how good we are at doing them.

Business can lead the way to future prosperity for all of us, by bringing back the certainty that can hit home for us on a very local level. When we see success in our own community, national stumbles in a deadlocked congress don’t seem as dramatic to us. As a business person, you bring success back by championing the confidence you DO have, and demonstrating that confidence in the work which does happen. Focus on what CAN be done right now instead of focusing on what cannot be done. Waiting and hoping for things to get better is a lousy business strategy. Actually, it means there is no strategy at all.

The future will always be uncertain by nature — we can’t know what hasn’t happened yet. However we can focus on what we see happening in our own neck of the woods: We can see where the flywheel starts to turn, and we can give it our local heave-ho. Invest in what you do know, and in what you know you should be doing about it. Be more hopeful because you are tuned in to your own confidence levels — wherever they are playing out for you.

Beyond the numbers: Decide on the kind of jobs we need

Along the way, we in business will create more jobs which frame the work we know must be done. [See: What gainful employment ‘should’ do for you.]

I am increasingly of the opinion that the void we have to fill is about having the right jobs in place, and not just jobs as a number. As a business person, you have to decide what the jobs of your future are, and then put those jobs into production: You cannot fill vacancies for jobs you haven’t designed yet. You design them because you are confident about the work those jobs produce — that’s the unfilled capacity Krugman refers to.

And no more waiting on anyone else.

Beautiful Confidence is a thought to keep close for the weekend: “Confidence is good’s natural extension.”

So, you think you’re approachable huh?

October 27, 2009 by Rosa Say for Say “Alaka‘i”

I did too.

I’m barely 5’1 and have never weighed enough for the Blood Bank to sign me up as a donor, so who in the world would I ever intimidate?

More people than I ever imagined. Much as I hate it, I know I still do, and so I have to constantly work on my approachability, helping people warm up to me, so they’ll talk to me.

An Intimidation Factor. We all have one.

I was oblivious to my own intimidation factor up until a wise (and brave!) mentor showed me the truth about my perceived demeanor. It was pretty painful, but not as painful as the realization I hadn’t self-corrected soon enough.

You have an intimidation factor too.

If you are thought of as a manager, someone of authority, “with power” or “in charge” in any way whatsoever, especially in the workplace, I’ll bet you are way more intimidating than you think you are, no matter how warm, nice and gracious you might try to be. A certain degree of that intimidation factor comes with the organizational territory, and what that means, is that people do not consider you as approachable as you are hoping they do. Probably not even close to it.

Now, before you get too smug, and say, “I’m just your normal Joe, nobody reports to me,” guess again. Got seniority? Tenure? More experience than a new hire? Or are you the new hire with a degree that didn’t exist for the old guard? Leading a team, a committee or task force? Are you an older sibling? A parent? A local with the lei of the land, and advantageous sense of place? I bet if I dig deep enough, finding out more about you and the people you interact with, that I will find a person you intimidate.

I’ll find a handful of them. It just happens.

If you are unapproachable,
people are not telling you what you need to know.

Not all of it.

Now there are bosses who will quietly admit that they like having a slight mystique surrounding them, forcing subordinates to use middle managers more than they otherwise would. I don’t buy it: ‘Mystique’ is a beguiling word for their intimidation factor that is similar to spraying a skunk with perfume, and they are justifying their lack of approachability with a flimsy excuse.

Besides, if you are unapproachable with one group of people, it spreads like a bad virus to everyone else too, and the ones brave enough to talk to you will be on their guard instead of being open and completely engaging.

They will not be curious about you either. They won’t seek you out, and ask you for your opinion, hoping to hear more of your mana‘o (your thoughts, beliefs and convictions).

Is that what you really want?

No, I didn’t think so. No one likes not knowing, and feeling they are forced to second guess underlying messages in what they are told (or subversively allowed to discover.) No one likes being the one that no one else will turn to.

I prefer to think that everything said can be beautiful.
Everything.

For you to listen, and to hear better,
someone else has to do the talking.

My strategy for working on eliminating my own intimidation factor has been The Daily 5 Minutes ®, something I had told you about in this posting: Two Gifts: Values and Conversation. The reason is pretty simple and straight-forward: The Daily 5 Minutes is about listening completely, and for me to listen, someone else has to talk. Here is an excerpt shared in that post to save you the click:

The Daily 5 Minutes ® is one way that “talking story grows up and really, truly comes to the workplace with us.”

The D5M practice is a new conversation

The number one objection I will get from people hearing about The Daily 5 Minutes ® for the first time, and hearing that it is a daily practice they will learn, is “But Rosa, I talk to my people every day. We talk story enough.”

No you don’t. I guarantee you, you don’t. Granted, most of us talk TO others, AT others, and even FOR others all the time, but we don’t talk WITH others enough. When those times come up where we know we really need to have a heart to heart with another person, we stutter, stammer, stall, or skip the conversation altogether, hoping it will just go away. And surprise, surprise, it doesn’t.

The Daily 5 Minutes ® is a new conversation in which we learn how to listen all over again so that we can communicate better. It can get our island way of talking story to be better than it ever has been before, because over time it vastly improves the circle of comfort and aloha we have for each other. I hope you will take the time to read about it.

If you choose not to use The Daily 5 Minutes ® as your strategy with grooming better approachability, come up with something else, aimed at improving the circle of comfort which exists between you and the other people you work with. Trust me on this: It will be the best gift you give yourself.

Having more people talk to you is not a burden; it lifts burdens. You’ll see.

My mana‘o [The Backstory of this posting]
Each Tuesday I write a leadership posting for Say “Alaka‘i” at The Honolulu Advertiser. The edition here on Talking Story is revised with internally directed links, and I can take a few more editorial liberties.

D5Mdiscover

The Daily 5 Minutes is very much on my mind these days due to this Alaka‘i initiative:
The Daily 5 Minutes: An exciting alpha test! Yesterday I wrote, “I hereby declare this last week of October 2009 dedicated to The Daily 5 Minutes.” and I said I would be working on a new D5M Resource Page for you. Click on the D5M graphic above and you will see it, still a work in progress, but with a good start.

UPDATE:

Take 5 Listening ChallengeOur 1st Ruzuku alpha is now complete! Read about our results, and get up to date with the news about our next two challenges:
The D5M Ruzuku Report (and 2 New Challenges!)

The next one will begin on Monday, November 30th and remains free of charge only during this period of alpha testing. More about this next challenge:
Become a Better Listener with these 5 Skills

Photo Credits: Shy Kids of Quake by Edge of Space on Flickr and SAY SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL… by LondonInFlames on Flickr

Time to Seize Control. Be Commanding!

August 25, 2009 by Rosa Say for Say “Alaka‘i”

I received a phone call recently which made me do my little hula dance of joy. The call was from a former client who had invested in a few Managing with Aloha workshops for his staff about three years ago (by ‘invested’ I mean it was not a flavor-of-the-month training for them, and they followed-up. Still do), and after our hellos and small talk to catch up he said,

“Rosa, I’d like to book another Ho‘ohana Session for all my staff. I don’t care if other people still feel we are in a recession: I’m not going to sit around and wait for the rest of the world any longer.

No more hesitation or conservative thinking, for quietly playing it safe isn’t a winning strategy for us. Time for us to get moving again and you can help move us faster.”

In other words, he’s seizing control and placing himself in charge of his own destiny [‘Imi ola].

Chain link resting place

His company is extremely lucky to have him at the helm. Playing it safe is for wimps, and wimps don’t lead winning businesses, or develop winning teams of people.

We’d all have come out of the economic messes we might still be in if each and every one of us had made the same courageous decision months or even years ago. Perhaps not to book a session with me (though that would be nice) but definitely that decision to get moving in a more forceful, positive direction, and to deal with the business of life on our own terms.

To seize control and be commanding is a very good thing.

‘Control’ is one of those words that has a bad rep, especially when it comes to leadership, for we have been conditioned to prefer words like ‘ownership’ and ‘engagement;’ pull and persuade words over more forceful push words. However I love these stronger words when it comes to our own butt-kicking. I’d love to see more business people get back in charge of their own destiny and seize control again with both hands, just as my recommitted client has done.

Where do you stand?

Are you taking a stance today, in the right here, right now?

Is it time you seize back control too?

The Gallup Organization labels this willingness ”“ this eagerness to be in control a strength, one they refer to as ‘command:’

“Command leads you to take charge” Once your goal is set, you feel restless until you have aligned others with you” People are drawn to those who take a stance and ask them to move in a certain direction. Therefore, people will be drawn to you. You have presence. You have Command.”
—Tom Rath, StrengthsFinder 2.0

Alaka‘i managers are commanding. They lead with their own ideas, their own energies, and their eagerness to be in charge, in control, and in fully confident command.

Those are never traits to apologize for or be hesitant about. It’s long been time to be more assertive, aggressive and brave. If any of those more forceful words make you squirm, well good.

Are you an Alaka‘i manager up to the challenge?

We certainly need you to be. That much is very, very clear.

From the Say “Alaka‘i” archives:

Leaders Don’t Wait for Any Cycle was written in November of 2008. How much movement and progress might you have realized in your own business if you had seized control and command back then?

Article originally published on Say “Alaka‘i” August 2009
Time to Seize Control. Be Commanding!

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