Talking Story

Starting new conversations in the workplace!

  • Rosa’s Books
  • ManagingWithAloha.com
  • RosaSay.com

Do you ask Good Questions?

March 19, 2009 by Rosa Say for Say “Alaka‘i”

Learning to ask good questions is a finely tuned skill that great managers and leaders will master. We started to talk about this a little bit last time… sometimes questions are staged, or otherwise welcomed versus asked outright: Who gives you your Second Opinion?).

Questions are sort of like picture frames: There is a vast array of different ones, and though the painting stays the same once the paint has dried and set completely, the painting can look completely different to you depending which frame you put it in —or if you use one at all.

Or just paint it

Good questions come from good intention

Once you ask a question, the words which ‘paint’ it are said. But how did you frame them, and why?

For example, I have three favorite questions for managers and leaders I interview in coaching assessments before we embark on Managing with Aloha programs (Frame 1). These are also great as questions for the managers you are thinking about hiring, if you share similar values (Frame 2 ”“ I’ll put the Hawaiian values in parentheses):

  1. What’s your calling? (Ho‘ohana as the value of intentional work)
  2. How do you learn? (‘Ike loa as the value of lifelong learning)
  3. What kind of things will you methodically plan? (‘Imi ola as the value of created destiny)

My purpose for those questions is that I choose my customers; I coach people who I believe are ready to go from good to great. It’s more challenging and fun for me, and it’s more useful and joyous for them. Not only do their values tell me what they believe in, they tell me what they are ready for. Within my coaching programs, the values of Ho‘ohana, ‘Ike loa and ‘Imi ola collectively fortify what I consider to be ‘good to great’ readiness in the Alaka‘i framing of the Managing with Aloha way that great managers work.

Thus Frame 2: I am assuming those are the same kind of people that you hire as Alaka‘i managers, right? If you share the value framing of Alaka‘i, you likely believe, as I do, that

  1. Management is a calling, not a title on an org chart.
  2. Managers and leaders are lifelong learners; learning is the good food and nutrition necessary for their growth. No growth, no leadership potential.
  3. The great managers are diligent planners; they are obsessed with lining up those mission arrows which point to the leadership visions they champion.

I think of good questions are those which have noble purpose: They catch people in what they are doing right, and can further build upon; thus they align with my own intention to coach. Good questions do not have that “what do you think you are doing?” tone to them: They are not those Aha! Caught you doing something wrong! questions which embarrass or demoralize people, and get them to shrink when they struggle to answer.

My job as a coach (and yours as an Alaka‘i boss and mentor) is to help them make their weaknesses irrelevant, and I much prefer to do so by keeping my focus diligently (i.e. intentionally) leveled on their strengths instead.

Choose a frame for your painting

Try it. Choose three values you want your managers to have.
(Here are some Hawaiian value suggestions if you would like to use them: Hau‘oli Makahiki Hou: Hawaiian Values for 2009)

Next, write a belief statement for each of those three values: Why is it important to you that each manager on your team embody those beliefs as well? ”If they do, they align with your purpose and thus fortify your organizational culture instead of fragmenting it with a different belief system (which would be a different framing).

Third, turn your belief into a good question of noble purpose: Frame it as a question which quickly tells you if a prospective candidate shares your managerial values or not. If they don’t, they aren’t bad people, they simply are not a fit for your organizational culture, and they need to keep looking for their better match ”“ and you need to keep looking for yours.

Frame 3: Your questions may also work for that long-term manager sitting in their annual performance appraisal with you, if both of you are looking for how past loyalty and comfort can now make the leap to new stretch and a greater leadership challenge.

By the way, if you happen to be looking for a new job right now, you have just identified the three values that you should be looking for in your new boss-to-be. (Frame 4) Remember, there are two decisions to be made in every hiring situation.

Let’s talk story.

  • Do you have good questions to share with us which are among your favorites?
  • What did you come up with as a value and question match-up in this exercise?

Comment here, or via the tweet-conversation we have on Twitter @sayalakai.



More reading from the Say “Alaka‘i” archives:
Alaka‘i Archive Love: February 2009 Update


~ Originally published on Say “Alaka‘i” ~
Do you ask Good Questions?


Talking Story with Say Leadership Coaching

Subscribe to Talking Story with Say Leadership Coaching by Email

Filed Under: Columns: Say “Alaka‘i” Tagged With: ‘Ike loa, ‘Imi ola, coaching, decisions, hiring, Ho‘ohana, intention, interviewing, questions, values

Comments

  1. Talking Story with Say Leadership Coaching says

    April 24, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    Our RFL Recall: Are you Remembering or Learning?

    Rapid Fire Learning (RFL) is our monthly stream-of-consciousness exercise at Joyful Jubilant Learning: We do it on the 25th of each month. Very simple thing, and pretty easy for people who think of themselves as lifelong learners (the value of…

Trackbacks

  1. Talking Story: What’s your Calling? Has it become your Ho‘ohana? says:
    October 18, 2011 at 7:51 am

    Preface: This posting is a follow-up to this one: Do you ask good questions? If you haven’t read it yet, please consider going there first; for the preview will frame this article much better for you. Ho‘ohana is the Hawaiian value of intentional work….

Search Talking Story your way

RSS Current Articles at Managing with Aloha:

  • Self-Coaching Exercises in the Self-Leadership of Alaka‘i
  • Do it—Experiment!
  • Hō‘imi to Curate Your Life’s Experience
  • Kaʻana i kāu aloha: Share your Aloha
  • Managing Basics: The Good Receiver
  • What do executives do, anyway? They do values.
  • Managing Basics: On Finishing Well

Search Talking Story by Category

Talking Story Article Archives

  • July 2016 (1)
  • April 2012 (1)
  • March 2012 (6)
  • February 2012 (6)
  • January 2012 (10)
  • December 2011 (1)
  • November 2011 (4)
  • October 2011 (17)
  • September 2011 (8)
  • August 2011 (6)
  • July 2011 (2)
  • June 2011 (2)
  • May 2011 (4)
  • April 2011 (12)
  • March 2011 (16)
  • February 2011 (16)
  • January 2011 (23)
  • December 2010 (4)
  • November 2010 (1)
  • October 2010 (1)
  • September 2010 (4)
  • August 2010 (1)
  • July 2010 (4)
  • June 2010 (13)
  • May 2010 (17)
  • April 2010 (18)
  • March 2010 (13)
  • February 2010 (18)
  • January 2010 (16)
  • December 2009 (12)
  • November 2009 (15)
  • October 2009 (20)
  • September 2009 (20)
  • August 2009 (17)
  • July 2009 (16)
  • June 2009 (13)
  • May 2009 (3)
  • April 2009 (19)
  • March 2009 (18)
  • February 2009 (21)
  • January 2009 (26)
  • December 2008 (31)
  • November 2008 (19)
  • October 2008 (8)
  • September 2008 (11)
  • August 2008 (11)
  • July 2008 (10)
  • June 2008 (16)
  • May 2008 (1)
  • March 2008 (17)
  • February 2008 (24)
  • January 2008 (13)
  • December 2007 (10)
  • November 2007 (6)
  • July 2007 (27)
  • June 2007 (23)
  • May 2007 (13)
  • April 2007 (19)
  • March 2007 (17)
  • February 2007 (14)
  • January 2007 (15)
  • December 2006 (14)
  • November 2006 (16)
  • October 2006 (13)
  • September 2006 (29)
  • August 2006 (14)
  • July 2006 (19)
  • June 2006 (19)
  • May 2006 (12)
  • April 2006 (11)
  • March 2006 (14)
  • February 2006 (14)
  • January 2006 (7)
  • December 2005 (15)
  • November 2005 (27)
  • October 2005 (22)
  • September 2005 (38)
  • August 2005 (31)
  • July 2005 (34)
  • June 2005 (32)
  • May 2005 (27)
  • April 2005 (28)
  • March 2005 (36)
  • February 2005 (33)
  • January 2005 (35)
  • December 2004 (13)
  • November 2004 (24)
  • October 2004 (22)
  • September 2004 (28)
  • August 2004 (8)

Copyright © 2021 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in