Sunday Review 6: Trade in “Having to” for “Wanting to”

I do hope you had a love – erly Valentines Day and week, grabbing hold of the opportunity to stretch it out and fill your days with that warm red glow…

In my Writing Elsewhere this week I have one post to share with you on, and another on, and they both go with this theme of “wanting to” versus “having to.”

Life is way too short to just go through the motions in the day-by-day dishing up of what’s on your plate. Do what you want to do on your own agenda, and most important, do what you believe in.

Don’t get stuck on the normally negative connotation of the word; selfishness in this context is a very good thing.

When you have the goal of ‘imi ola, and creating the best possible life for yourself, Selfish Mentoring is training and coaching one’s apparent successor or team of direct reports to do everything you can do in your present sphere of influence. They rise to higher expectations while enjoying the fruits of those efforts, thereby releasing you ”“ freeing you ”“ to create higher, or simply different expectations for yourself. Selfish Mentoring is a win-win concept in which everyone benefits; you, those you mentor, and whatever you are managing as a whole.

Over the last month or so, I’ve had a few conversations with a manager struggling to keep her head above water in her role. Technically she knows her job inside and out, the problem as she first described it to me, was that “Hawai‘i is different; I can’t get these people to give me a break.”

As we’ve talked, she’s come to realize that it’s not that Hawai‘i is all that different.

Bonus Links:
A big mahalo to Chris Bailey for promoting the Daily 5 Minutes this week. It continues to work, and work wonders; are you Taking Five? All you need to know is here in the D5M Index.

Chris Bailey’s Words to Live By

“Life is creative. It plays itself into existence, seeking out new relationships, new capacities, new traits. Life is an experiment to discover what’s possible. As it tinkers with discovery, it creates more and more possibilities. With so much freedom for discovery, how can life be anything but playful?”
—Meg Wheatley


  1. says

    Matthew, sounds like Mark Forster is a bit more “high road” than my chicken and the pig (bacon and eggs) recollection of that *involved* versus *committed* difference!