Talking Story

Starting new conversations in the workplace!

  • Rosa’s Books
  • ManagingWithAloha.com
  • RosaSay.com

Monday or Friday? Choose Wisely

March 16, 2006 by Rosa Say

As a VP in a large resort operation, I was normally involved in those unfortunate situations when an employee was in the escalating stages of progressive discipline. This was the  progression of how we handled not-good employee performance situations:

Stage 1 – coaching

Stage 2 – verbal counseling

Stage 3 – verbal counseling round 2 is documented

Stage 4 – verbal warning

Stage 5 – written warning

Stage 6 – suspension

Stage 7 – termination

Of course the goal was that you never needed to advance past Stage 1, but the reality of worklife is that it happens.

The suspension part never sat well with me, for if things had gotten that bad, I couldn’t see the value in sending someone into exile to stew on things and get more distressed about it without active coaching from us: My goal was always to return to Stage 1 with elevated levels of coaching, not to do my due diligence (legally correct and all that) to arrive safely as possible at Stage 7.

My HR director was my active partner in all these situations, for throughout them we were usually coaching two people: the employee, and their manager. We held the manager responsible for having the situation escalate so we had to get involved at all, and we approached it as a coaching opportunity for them– with some, it may have been that they themselves were in Stage 1, 2 or 3 at the same time. However this was a great learning partnership in the dynamics of human behavior, for along the way, and in the crucible of some very volatile and emotional employee dramas, we three managers and leaders coached each other.

One of the things we learned to carefully consider in the course of progressive discipline was Monday versus Friday. When we had to have a very difficult conversation with an employee (or with the manager) was it better to hold it at the end of their workweek, or at the beginning of their next one?

The decision we were making recognized that the conversation would take an emotional toll on them; again, this is progressive discipline, and you have the VP of Operations and HR Director talking to you. So the Monday or Friday decision, on when to hold the difficult conversation was this:

Is it better for

a) this particular person,
b) in this particular situation, and
c) for the desired outcome we wish to arrive at,

that we hold this difficult conversation Monday
(i.e. when they return from two days off)
so they are in our workplace environment as they work through their reactions,

or Friday
(i.e. when they are departing the workplace just prior to their days off)
so they can work through it with their family and outside work instead?

The answer is not always the same. We had to discuss the pros and cons, and arrive at a decision on when to hold the conversation before we had it.

And we had to act more responsibly knowing what they potentially were taking home with them.
—Was this going to be a burden on their family, or did we have to acknowledge they would need their support? Or, could their family be more effective at getting through to them than we were?
—Was the situation one where it was beyond our accepting of a work-related burden at work. Realistically, they’d be better equipped to wade through it and emerge successful within the work environment, and their family could not give them the options and answers which we could?

This was a lesson I have learned well over the course of time with virtually any tougher conversation I may have with people. Essentially, within my own responsibility I have to hold myself accountable for owning the reaction time of that conversation too. And frankly, it’s not just about having a sense of aloha and being a good, responsible person. It’s about being a great manager versus just a good one.

So Monday or Friday: how do you arrive at the right decision in each situation?

Like any decision you make, you have to do your due diligence in making sure all the variables for that decision are at your disposal.

We’ll talk about that with my next post.

Filed Under: MWA Key 4: Role of the Manager Tagged With: discretion, managing well, timing

Comments

  1. Steve Sherlock says

    March 16, 2006 at 1:04 pm

    Rosa, you have gone a good step farther than I have seen some in management and HR take this. Usually they make it a requirement for an immediate response (i.e. action/intervention) without any consideration for the impact and longer term effect upon the employee.
    I also agree that cycling back to stage 1 is a good move. Once you get to stage 6, you are reaching points of no return.

  2. Talking Story with Say Leadership Coaching says

    March 18, 2006 at 11:46 am

    Variables of the Monday or Friday Decision

    This is where we left off: From Monday or Friday? Choose Wisely …. Like any decision you make, you have to do your due diligence in making sure all the variables for that decision are at your disposal. We’ll talk

  3. Rocky says

    March 19, 2006 at 9:51 am

    Great stuff. progressive discipline is usually not easy, however, you have laid out a very nice progression. yes, the goal of discipline is atleast two fold. `1. tp protect the business and 2. salvage the employee.

  4. Rick Fuqua says

    March 20, 2006 at 9:53 am

    I think you have outlined the perfect, compassionate methodolgy for employee discipline. So often, I am approached by inexperienced managers that want to jump straight to probation or termination. They are shocked when I suggest that I should put them on probation for not working through the issues more patiently with their employee, then they get the point that compassion and diligence are important elements of discipline (unless, of course, there has been a serious policy violation or abuse).
    No employee should ever be surprised by any stage of discipline and if they are, then the manager has probably not done their job effectively.
    I will share this outline with my staff.
    Thanks.

Search Talking Story your way

RSS Current Articles at Managing with Aloha:

  • Self-Coaching Exercises in the Self-Leadership of Alaka‘i
  • Do it—Experiment!
  • Hō‘imi to Curate Your Life’s Experience
  • Kaʻana i kāu aloha: Share your Aloha
  • Managing Basics: The Good Receiver
  • What do executives do, anyway? They do values.
  • Managing Basics: On Finishing Well

Search Talking Story by Category

Talking Story Article Archives

  • July 2016 (1)
  • April 2012 (1)
  • March 2012 (6)
  • February 2012 (6)
  • January 2012 (10)
  • December 2011 (1)
  • November 2011 (4)
  • October 2011 (17)
  • September 2011 (8)
  • August 2011 (6)
  • July 2011 (2)
  • June 2011 (2)
  • May 2011 (4)
  • April 2011 (12)
  • March 2011 (16)
  • February 2011 (16)
  • January 2011 (23)
  • December 2010 (4)
  • November 2010 (1)
  • October 2010 (1)
  • September 2010 (4)
  • August 2010 (1)
  • July 2010 (4)
  • June 2010 (13)
  • May 2010 (17)
  • April 2010 (18)
  • March 2010 (13)
  • February 2010 (18)
  • January 2010 (16)
  • December 2009 (12)
  • November 2009 (15)
  • October 2009 (20)
  • September 2009 (20)
  • August 2009 (17)
  • July 2009 (16)
  • June 2009 (13)
  • May 2009 (3)
  • April 2009 (19)
  • March 2009 (18)
  • February 2009 (21)
  • January 2009 (26)
  • December 2008 (31)
  • November 2008 (19)
  • October 2008 (8)
  • September 2008 (11)
  • August 2008 (11)
  • July 2008 (10)
  • June 2008 (16)
  • May 2008 (1)
  • March 2008 (17)
  • February 2008 (24)
  • January 2008 (13)
  • December 2007 (10)
  • November 2007 (6)
  • July 2007 (27)
  • June 2007 (23)
  • May 2007 (13)
  • April 2007 (19)
  • March 2007 (17)
  • February 2007 (14)
  • January 2007 (15)
  • December 2006 (14)
  • November 2006 (16)
  • October 2006 (13)
  • September 2006 (29)
  • August 2006 (14)
  • July 2006 (19)
  • June 2006 (19)
  • May 2006 (12)
  • April 2006 (11)
  • March 2006 (14)
  • February 2006 (14)
  • January 2006 (7)
  • December 2005 (15)
  • November 2005 (27)
  • October 2005 (22)
  • September 2005 (38)
  • August 2005 (31)
  • July 2005 (34)
  • June 2005 (32)
  • May 2005 (27)
  • April 2005 (28)
  • March 2005 (36)
  • February 2005 (33)
  • January 2005 (35)
  • December 2004 (13)
  • November 2004 (24)
  • October 2004 (22)
  • September 2004 (28)
  • August 2004 (8)

Copyright © 2021 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in