Nana i ke kumu, which means look to your source, or go the well, meaning the inner wellspring inside you that keeps you healthy first so that you can be a better giver to others. (Nana i ke kumu is one of the final chapters of Managing with Aloha.)
Chris calls it the Oxygen Mask Principle which is a great way to explain it. It’s something that is so very logical, yet we all have difficulty with it – it’s just never going to be okay to be "selfish" even when it’s a kind of behavior-for-self that is very good for us. We need to Malama (take care of) ourselves in self-respect for our own spirit.
I do remember that I wrote a monthly Ho‘ohana along the same lines just prior to starting Talking Story, and it stimulated a lot of emails, mostly from very tired women. However as Chris explains, men aren’t immune to needing Nana i ke kumu either. Here it is if you’re interested, it was about taking sabbaticals. It also explains how my practice of taking my holiday ho‘omaha germinated in my head.
Mahalo Chris, thank you for a reminder we all need.