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When Managers Say the Right Things

November 8, 2011 by Rosa Say

Choosing the right thing to say isn’t that difficult, when it flows from the right intent. And what great results we can achieve!

When managers say the right things in a workplace, release happens — self-imposed floodgates open wide in the people who surround those managers, and their greatest possibility comes out to play. Work of different stripe, pattern, color and intensity happens, because now, people feel it can. They feel their work is wholly welcomed. Their work. People can add a personal signature to what they do — they can weave in their Ho‘ohana, and go for ‘Imi ola. They can experiment, take creative liberty, stretch, dabble and explore — these are all the good things which happen when “Nalu it” is part of the work culture.

“Nalu it” surges ahead. It jumps from meaning “go with the flow” to becoming, “go for it!”
“Nalu it” was important: It relaxes people, and gets them to drop their guard a bit more so they can go with the flow to start with. But so much more is usually possible, and when their managers say the right things in encouragement and support, people can really “go” in a big way.

Canoe Surfing at KÅ«ki‘o PointReference points: If you’re just joining us, learn about “Nalu it” here. The Hawaiian values which guide us are listed and defined for you on the right sidebar of the blog.
Besides being a pretty cool metaphor, the Language of Intention and water flow imagery of “nalu it” (to go with the flow) helps us see the work we do, and the momentum we achieve with that work, through the lens of natural physics. The strength and perpetual power of wave action is pretty obvious, yet consider this: People are a force of nature too!

Nalu from what’s expected, to what’s possible

People know they are in a workplace to work. What managers must often do for them however, is strip away anything that holds them back. What makes a difference in a workplace culture, and in the quality of what that workplace produces or delivers, is the freedom of self expression that defines that work and channels its best energies, as opposed to the structural impositions of job description and process expectations — yes, you read that correctly: Job descriptions and and process expectations are structural impositions which function very much like shackles do, keeping more liberating work in check. The best work happens without them.

Just ask your customers, and listen closely. They’ll tell you that they don’t really want your staff to follow your rules per se, they want them to own the work (‘service’ or a ‘great product’ to a customer) with a personal touch, and with that owner’s intensity that conveys “this work is part of me, it’s important to me that it’s good, and I’m so happy I can share it with you as my customer and guest.” When your staff has “owner’s intensity” they never say, “let me get my manager” because they don’t need to; they make stuff happen (they Ho‘o), and customers thrill to their sense of urgency. Customers admire what they perceive as initiative and passion, skillful ability and uncompromising competence.

As a manager, you want your customer and guest to see those things in your people, and experience them in the service they receive. All of it is a reflection of you and what you do — what you support and enable — as a great manager.

So what are those ‘right things’ that all managers can be saying?

The different phrases are abundant, and you can make them personal, saying them in your own words, but they will all be rooted in two kinds of intention: Giving permission and sharing appreciation (the value of Mahalo).

Sharing appreciation has to do with that excellent and timeless supervisory advice: Catch people doing something right. Great managers aren’t cagey or subtle about it either: They speak up (saying the right thing, at precisely the right time) to let people know they’ve caught them, for the glorious affirmation of the aha! moment which just happened, and so they have a chance to say thank you in a genuinely sincere way. In a workplace, the best “thank you” of all is said when a manager catches their people wallowing in their strengths and talents; they’ve lost all sense of time, and their work is truly in flow. Because of the investments already done in basic competency and in value alignment, people are confident, and their work seems to sing. Managers are able to say, “thank you for doing what you do, and for doing it so well” because KÅ«lia i ka nu‘u — the value of excellence has been in play.

Before we get to that sweet spot however, the right things said by a manager will largely be about giving permission, in whatever the form and frequency that permission is needed.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that “It’s better to ask forgiveness than permission.” The people who say it (and usually quite proudly) are those who hate being held back in any red tape or within the more plodding, cautious work of others. They want to go for it; they’re the “nalu it” surfers and waterwomen who paddle out where there aren’t any lifeguard towers. “Better to ask forgiveness than permission” sounds cocky and arrogant, but often it’s simply confident. They feel their odds are more in favor of success than failure — odds are that asking forgiveness isn’t going to happen, so why waste time on the permission? Just get it done, and prove the point. Everything will be fine — how bad could it be?

“The cool thing about reckless abandon is that there is always time to be sensible later.”
~ Seth Godin in Insubordinate

Again, more confidence than arrogance is in play here, for they also have a much bigger viewpoint of what success is: They’re quite sure there will be a discovery of some kind that isn’t necessarily a bona fide accomplishment yet. Heck, that discovery might even be a brand new mistake they never made before, because it’s the first time they were able to paddle out that far. That’s a good thing! Mistakes are cool. Whoever would expect they need to be forgiven for that?

The very best workplace wave people can ride? When they get permission as a gift without having to ask for it first. They get, “Nalu it!”

Let’s get back to those “right things” that a manager will say. I’m a fan of the “Nalu it” Language of Intention because it’s such a good reminder of these statements as a “give good permission” intention category. Examples are;

“Just go for it — you know what to do, and you’re the best at it.”
“Sounds to me like you have a handle on this, so just call if you feel you need something; I’ll be happy to help.”
“I’m sensing you have another idea about this; tell me about it.”
“The energy you’ve been devoting to this is fantastic; thanks so much.”
“We’ll have the luxury of more time with this project; would you like to try a different approach?”

Or simply, “What say we try something new, you game?”
And as often as possible, “What do you think?”

To be an Alaka‘i Manager, work on this deliberately: Speak with those two critical intentions of giving permission and sharing your appreciation. Add it to your list of dailies, with The Daily 5 Minutes and as a Best Communicator. The magnificent day will come, when one of your people looks at you and says, “I feel strong when I talk to you.”

A suggestion for Managing with Aloha readers: Review Chapter 4 on Ho‘omau, the value of perseverance and persistence. The connections to this discussion abound, and those Ho‘omau connections are often why we managers want to release others within their good work in the first place; they’ll have several “Nalu it” waves to ride over time.

Managing Energies: Struggle & Ease

October 25, 2011 by Rosa Say

Aloha,

This article has been updated, and now appears within my company portfolio.

You can read it here:

Managing Energies: Struggle & Ease

The articles and essays I currently publish can be found on www.ManagingWithAloha.com (RSS)

Thank you for your visit,

Rosa Say
Workplace culture coach, and author of Managing with Aloha, Bringing Hawai‘i’s Universal Values to the Art of Business: Learn more here.

What happened to On the Job Training?

January 17, 2008 by Rosa Say

“Training? To be honest, ours is on the job training, and that’s about it.”

If a manager admits that to you, they often have a cowed expression on their face, and they say the words apologetically. They’re quick to explain about cutbacks in training budgets, or they feebly try to change the subject somewhat, under the guise of giving their senior employees some strokes for doing such a good job at it with their newbies.

However I have to say that I would welcome more On the Job Training if only it actually happened consistently, and included some healthy doses of coaching.

Thanks to my own work and the fact that I travel so much to do it, I’m able to collect a lot of customer experiences, and I am in a lot of workplaces where I eventually become one of the gang and people let their guard down, comfortably becoming their normal at-work selves around me. I rarely see any On the Job Training actually happening, and if I do, it is all about skills with sprinkles of random knowledge factoids sprinkled on top. There isn’t any coaching.

Now I understand that managers need to be discreet about it, and that I wouldn’t (and shouldn’t) actually see the coaching happening before my eyes unless those managers were real jerks who didn’t care about embarrassing their staff. However I would eventually enjoy the results of managers training and coaching their people on the job if it happened, right?

Needme
I am on a business trip right now, and this is day 4 for me of a 7-nighter in the same place. There is a major chain bookstore near my hotel that has proved to be an every-day haunt for me because of its cafe and free parking, and bookstores are like great big candy jars for me anyway – love ’em. It didn’t take me that long to figure out who the floor managers are, and to pick a few staff people to keep tabs on over the course of my frequent visits, staff members who really have no concept of warm, gracious, engaging customer service skills. They certainly were not hired for their smile readiness, for they don’t even give them to each other.

I couldn’t stand being a manager for one day in this place, without taking these employees aside individually and coaching them…

I’d like to give you some coaching on handling the next customer coming up to the counter, okay? I can see that you have the skills you need as a cashier down pat right now, and your transaction time is quick and efficient: I’m sure people appreciate that, as do the customers waiting their turn in line. Now let’s put your personal signature on your work, and get your warmth and aloha to shine through. Instead of saying, “next in line?” look directly at that person in the front of the line, make eye contact and give him or her your biggest, brightest smile, and say something like, “hello, may I help you now?”

Then, I’d discreetly watch them with the next few customers, and yes, they would know I was watching. I would be their biggest cheerleader when they got it right, thanking them for making the extra effort, and letting them know how much I appreciated it – and how positive I am that they made a big impression on the customer too.

Instead, I see managers oblivious to the quality of service the customers are getting – even when they are pitching in at the very next register. They just don’t see what I see as a customer, and if they do, they aren’t responding to it, and they aren’t coaching.

You don’t have to apologize to me for “only” doing On the Job Training. You should be apologizing to your employees, your customers, and your business for not doing it.

Flicker photo
by webchicken

The 3 Sins of Management

February 10, 2005 by Rosa Say

In the coaching I do with managers, I’ve found that there are three different pitfalls that constantly rear their ugly heads. I’ve come to call them the 3 Mortal Sins of Management.

One has to do with tripping yourself up in basic good supervision.

Another has to do with the way we revere the truth.

And the last has to do with keeping the working environment dynamic.

Let’s talk about them one at a time.

1. Tacit Approval

As a manager, you give someone your “tacit approval” when you do not take action on some transgression they know you are aware of. Confronting the staff involved, and following up when correction and disciplinary action are necessary, is critical within your role as Keeper of High Performance Expectations — for everyone, fair and square.

As unpleasant as it may be to deal with these things, eliminating any trace of tacit approval in the workplace is one of the reasons managers are needed: it’s one of the key reasons why self-directed work teams have not been able to exist totally on their own in most businesses. Managers are the ones who treat those playing foul tactfully but consistently, conducting themselves with distinction as they treat others with dignity and respect (ho‘ohanohano) while firmly, assuredly correcting and guiding their better behavior. Great managers groom talent: they do not ignore the opportunities they have to do so.

Managers must learn when it’s best to take care of staff issues individually versus collectively, and they must be the ones to discover all root causes, but they must, must, must take action and not look away. If you don’t deal with things as they happen, the message you silently give is that it’s okay as long as you don’t get caught, or that mediocrity is okay until it gets chronic. Then you end up doing crisis management because situations have festered and gotten far worse. At the very least, you allow the onset of apathy.

Update: Brand new post dedicated only to this: Tacit Approval: Don’t you dare give it!

2. Lies of Omission

This is one of those coaching lessons you get a lot of aha! moments in when you are a parent as well as a manager. With both my children and my employees I took care to teach them that a lie not spoken aloud is still a lie, and it still hurts someone or something in some way.

I would much rather deal with a big ugly truth than a small white lie, and I did my very best to cultivate a safe atmosphere wherein my children and my employees would give it to me straight no matter how awful a situation may be. I want to know what I must deal with — or what we must deal with — as soon as possible. No matter what it is, it is always far easier to deal with something that is out in the open and exposed in all its ugliness. Lies are never totally hidden and tucked away: in some way they affect someone’s health and spirit. Living with lies will kill a person’s ability to completely share their own aloha with others.

The positive flip side of this is that knowledge — any knowledge — is empowering and transformational. I’ve come to think of knowledge as food: food for mind, heart and soul. Learning inspires us, and when we “come to know” something and we seek better solutions, we can give birth to creativity. At the very least, we create new energy.

Three things for managers: first, openly talk about lies of omission with your staff. Introduce the phrase as newly known vocabulary (same with tacit approval, for many do not use that phrase either) and inculcate it into the language of your company. Second, seize personal responsibility for creating a safe atmosphere where anyone can talk to you about anything without fear of repercussion (tip: start with the Daily 5 Minutes). Third, lead by example, and admit when you’re wrong and need a better truth yourself. Apologize when you should.

3. Automatic Pilot

A car left on cruise control will ultimately run off the road or out of gas. Same thing happens to any process in a business that is left on automatic pilot. Great managers learn to love this question: “Tell me again – why is it that we do it this way?”

You can fill in these blanks with a whole myriad of systems and processes in your company:
Why is this paperwork so necessary when we __________ ?
Are we absolutely sure that this is the best solution for __________ ?
Have we ever tried to __________ when we do this?
How long have we been __________ this way?
When was the last time we put __________ back out to bid?
Why are we replacing __________ instead of reinventing __________ in the company?
Word association: red tape and bureaucracy for us, equals __________ ?

Why does it have to be this way?

It probably doesn’t. It probably shouldn’t. Create, innovate, change: just try something new and surprise yourself. Surprise everyone. Pull the plug and turn off the life support: Actively heal.

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Related Reading since the time this post was originally published:

  1. A cure for automatic pilot: Managers: Promote a Culture of Asking
  2. A cure for lies of omission (in addition to the D5M, for that one is BASIC): Turn up the Volume and Manage Loudly
  3. Create your work culture with well chosen vocabulary: The Best, Yet Most Underutilized Tool for Communication There Is, and then,
  4. Please follow up! Improve your Reputation with 1 List
  5. Never take being a great manager for granted: Managing well is better than Leading

D5Mdiscover

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