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Say Aloha to November and “Nalu it”

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Glorious November. Generous too. What I love about the changing of the season, is how liberally it can drop goodness in our laps unapologetically. November  doesn’t bother to ask our permission; it just arrives with a flourish, like the cherry on top of a classic banana split.

It’s gonna happen for you, if it hasn’t already, so will you be a willing receiver when it does? Will you nalu it?

Skill of the Waterman

Nalu is the Hawaiian word for wave or surging surf, and the hapa-Hawaiian saying, to “Nalu it” means “go with the flow.” As every person who learns to swim in the ocean knows, you don’t fight the waves, you ride them.

I grew up thinking “Nalu it” was street slang, and so there was a very cool affirmation of sorts which washed over me the day I first looked up nalu in the Pukui Elbert Hawaiian Dictionary. They do define nalu as, “wave, surf; full of waves; to form waves; wavy, as wood grain” and then, as meaning number 2., “to ponder, meditate, mull over, speculate.”

That’s even better! The kaona (hidden meaning) of nalu becomes so much richer, for that definition means thoughtful intention to me. “Nalu it” begins to mean go with the flow, and be mindful at the same time; be present. Take notice, but also, leave some room.

When you stop and think about it, all flow needs that room — that space to flow well, to surge without inhibition, just as the best surf will.

So, we “ponder”…

As we ho‘ohana, and work with purpose, passion, and full intention have we freed up enough capacity in our lives so that we can “nalu it” when a golden opportunity drops in our laps unexpectedly? It doesn’t even have to be an opportunity… can we be open enough, and freed up enough, to enjoy whatever good shows up?

Or, are we normally running on fumes? Is there enough fuel in our reserves, so that we can take enticing detours without worrying that we’ll run dry, and will have taken too great a risk?

As we’ve said before, Be unencumbered. Especially now, when there is so much seasonal goodness to take advantage of, and to be in the flow with.

Park. Walk instead. Nalu it everywhere, and in all of your places.

Thoughts like these predictably recur in November. The year is drawing to a close, and holiday celebrations get our attention, seeming to say, “Hey you, pay attention to me, it’s time!” Can we do so, or are we still scrambling, reacting with, “No! I’m not ready for you” please hold off a bit more, and wait.”

Good try, for there’s no stopping the calendar, is there.

There’s little sense in resisting. No sense scrambling either. As David Allen says, “There’s no catching up; there’s only catching on.”

So nalu it; go with the flow this month and enjoy November. To park, and walk instead, is to take notice of your Sense of Place (our Key 8) and get grounded in that elemental, earthy way.

If you feel you must dig in with one last valiant effort, work on your sweetest closure and let stuff go: It will get you to Nānā i ke kumu (return to your source, value/chapter 17 in Managing with Aloha).

Say Aloha to November in your most welcoming way, and dwell there, within your spirit for the season, and your self-leadership. It’s a good place to be.

Lead the way

Do this for yourself and you’ll feel better: Going with the flow relaxes you.

Then, in the spirit of Managing with Aloha, give this same holiday permission to everyone who works with you. Share the Language of Intention of “Nalu it” with them — let them know their sweet closure is okay with you, and that you’ll support their enjoyment of the season too, where the goodness of nalu-ing it is completely possible.

One to review on this final thought… Dear Manager, who do you want to be?

Aloha! Just joining us?

Talking Story is the blog home of those who are learning to be Alaka‘i Managers — those committed to managing and leading with Aloha. Read a preview of the book which inspired this movement, and visit our About Page. Purchase Managing with Aloha at Amazon.com in hardcover, or in the Kindle Store.

Talking Story with Rosa Say

Be unencumbered

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This is the advice I find I’m giving to my own children these days, as two young adults forging their way in a world where a lot of the rules have changed, or are still in flux. It’s advice I’m newly taking for myself too.

This is a day and time where the actions within free will, and the nimble mobility of easy movement, are abilities we must keep positioned to serve us, unrestricted and unburdened.

Green Chainlink

Be unencumbered

For to “be encumbered is to be restricted or burdened (by someone or something) in such a way that free action or movement is difficult.” (from my MacBook dictionary)

The root word itself is heavy, which is good, for it gets you to pause, and better understand.

Try saying it out loud; “Unencumbered.” It’s weighty too, as opposed to saying something like, “lighten up” which has other connotations anyway, or “protect your freedoms” which is presumptive and doesn’t capture everything which can be a possible culprit. For instance, on my current list of encumbrance culprits are:

  1. Stuff — because I want lightness instead, both physical and mental. I don’t want to bother with maintaining stuff I don’t use often enough to really matter
  2. Debt — because I want freedom from liability, and hate paying interest that just makes things cost more
  3. Jobs — because I prefer to think about work and Ho‘ohana. Work is necessary, and where the rewards are to be found, whereas ‘job’ is too small a container, often with other restrictions
  4. Dogma — because the only label I’m okay with is Thinker. I have gotten very wary about polarity, and how ideology and even branding can cause us to erect walls. I want to be more open-minded instead, and push myself to explore more in the learning I pursue
  5. Should-ing — I tend to separate this from dogma, in that should-ing usually hits us closer to home, coming from people we know more intimately, spending personal time with them. And they are another variable, one we will not dismiss, for they are important to us, and we want them to be proud of us [I defined should-ing in this post: A Good Ruthlessness x3.]
  6. Negativity — because Lord knows there is enough of it in the world, and I don’t want to be another contributor. From a practical standpoint, negativity is also highly ineffective
  7. Bad habits — there can be several encumbrances here [the world of auto-pilot], and the caution I always start with is in regard to physical health. When you get sick, everything else gets to be a moot point
  8. Sloth — because it’s such an energy killer. Look up sloth in a Thesaurus for the list of yuckiness it can include. No life can afford any of that stuff. Sloth kills creativity too
  9. Envy — because it doesn’t make much sense (it’s about someone else’s choices, not yours), yet is easy to fall prey to. To me, the opposite of envy is the virtue of Ma‘alahi, that peaceful persuasion of calming contentment — so much better!

You get the idea. The list can go on and your list might be different. I usually stop with 9 of anything in working through my own listings of things (case in point: Our 9 key Concepts for MWA). 9 is quite enough, for each one of these can be expanded on, and the whole self-coaching of “Be unencumbered” is to keep each of them self-managed well enough so they aren’t unwieldy, and I can fold them into my trusted system with good results.

To be unencumbered, make it relevant to your life

Going back to my children, we mostly have these kinds of conversations these days: To set the stage a bit, they are done with college, and now support themselves. Yet they are still young, unmarried, and haven’t become parents. I want them to take full advantage of their youthful energies, for as the saying goes, the world is their oyster:

  • Be unencumbered of a mortgage, for owning a home isn’t what it used to be, and you have time; wait until the industry heals itself.
  • For that matter, be unencumbered by all ownership — question what maintenance every owned thing might come with, and see it as possible baggage. Better to use-with-immediacy, whether rented, borrowed, or bartered for, and then move on.
  • Be unencumbered of middlemen, and brokers of any kind. Do for yourself to start with, to learn completely and understand well: Define what “in your best interest” is for yourself, before you hire or otherwise allow anyone else to do something for you.
  • Be unencumbered of what anyone else believes, including me and your dad. Trust in your values, think for yourself, and make your own rules to live/work/play by. Then be prepared to eloquently explain the why of your choices (you know we’ll still be asking you about them, and won’t hold back our opinions, so be ready to take an educated stand).
  • Be unencumbered of convention, all of it, and especially in learning. The world around us is a little broken right now, but that’s opportunity for you in forging a better way. Learn from everything, and everyone around you, for the world itself must be your teacher right now if you’re to navigate it successfully.

So “Be unencumbered” really helps as the catch-all of our Language of Intention as our family conversations continue. It becomes our insider-speak, and a shortcut about, then past why-we’re-talking-about-this, which helps us get into the meat of the matter quicker.

Then, make it relevant to your work

As you can imagine, “be unencumbered” is now part of my Managing with Aloha vocabulary too, in regard to the work of my businesses, for there are so many new conversations to be had, and had often. Vocabulary has always been tool-extraordinaire for us: The Best, Yet Most Underutilized Tool for Communication There Is.

This is a time to defy convention, and seize the opportunity to create better: Trump those Old Rules with Your Values.

As an Alaka‘i Manager, how can “Be unencumbered” help in your workplace huddles? What are the hot spots which come to mind for you, and can you discern what their encumbrances are?

Money, budgeting strategy, and financial literacy comes to mind relatively quickly (as with my last post, in regard to current affairs), but there are so many other encumbrances to consider.

What would be your first target?

Yellow Poppies

Here is some help in the archives, one for each of the encumbrances on my list:

  1. Stuff: Spring Cleaning at Work: Junk is not the Stuff of Legacy. How much junk is costing you money, and worse, cluttering up those spaces where good work, important and creative work, should be getting done instead?
  2. Debt: What does ‘financial literacy’ mean to you? An oldie, from 2005: One of the first posts I published here on Talking Story, about The Managers’ Kuleana we revisited a few days ago.
  3. Jobs: A Job of any Merit: Your 3 Options in Worthwhile Work. In case you missed it, this was the “we can do this!” post within a string of others this month.
  4. Dogma: Imagine having a Thought Kit: The story behind Business Thinking with Aloha.
  5. Should-ing: Have you caught the curve ball? A new initiative has come down from the top (corporate, your boss etc.): What do you do now?
  6. Negativity: Staying Positive in a Negative Workplace: When the downer isn’t the job itself, but the workplace culture.
  7. Bad habits: The 3 Sins of Management: About the bad habits of tacit approval, automatic pilot, and lies of omission.
  8. Sloth: Distract, Interrupt, Intercept, Disrupt: A simple way to focus, and deal with distractions.
  9. Envy: Downsizing gets cool: Today you have to pause a bit when you hear the word. Can we downsize to warm up to change?

A How-to Postscript: Are you using the tags here on Talking Story, listed at the bottom of each post? That’s how I came up with this list for you. For instance, try energy and/or creativity for sloth (the link I chose above was to help you with distraction.)

So much lies beyond that chain link fence… Be unencumbered so you can reach it.

Peach Profusion

Workplace Culture balances Change and Constants

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I received a couple of emails following my last posting (Managers Create Culture), and taken altogether the gist of them was this:

“If I don’t have a comprehensive philosophy yet, like you have in Managing with Aloha, how do I start to define the workplace culture I want to foster as an Alaka‘i Manager? The variables can be so overwhelming, and I struggle to focus, and set my priorities.”

Hat’s off, shoe on, to Isaia

Do you know when those variables get overwhelming? When they aren’t actually yours. We managers have a way of inheriting and collecting periphery.

Here’s what I recommend instead. It’s still about articulating an all-you packaging of your values (which is Managing with Aloha at its core), but arriving at them in another way, one which concentrates on action connected to desired change and valued constants.

To paraphrase and add to a famous quote by Mahatma Gandhi:

Be the Change you wish to see in your world, while remaining devoted to your Constants.

We talk about change a lot, equating it with initiative, innovation and creativity, however we tend to forget those constants we have already invested in, constants which keep us grounded, confident, steady and sure.

So try this: Sit with a blank sheet of paper, and make a simple list of your purely instinctive, gut-check WANTS, writing them down under one of two sub-headings:

  1. MY CONSTANTS
    (your keepers: You have these, still want them, and will devotedly hold on to them)
  2. GOOD CHANGE
    (your goals: Assume you want these for good reason, so work on getting them!)

Your list should describe your future. Identify what you want it to be, so those wants can guide you forward. Be as specific as possible, for specific detail is more conducive to revealing action steps you can take.

Your values will provide the ‘why.’ When you can tap into it, ‘purely instinctive, gut-check’ wanting gives voice to your values — you’ll be able to read between the lines, and get clarity on what your values are all about, and not theoretically or historically, but right now, for today, and for ‘Imi ola— a creation of your best-possible future.

This might help you start your list… Fill in the blanks, remembering to then choose which column they go in, valued CONSTANTS, or desired CHANGE:
I want to work on ______, and not on _______.
I want to forge a partnership with _______, so we can work on __________.
I’d love to see the day that we _____________ all day long!
I want to keep learning about _____________, so we’ll be able to _________.

Bet you can take it from there!

The first step in articulating the workplace culture you want is usually to be more selfish — yes, selfish, as in self-aware. Focus is all about energy management: Self-manage (channel your energy) and self-lead (create fresh energy) before you presume to create workplace culture for anyone else. It evokes the oxygen mask theory: You can’t save anyone else when you can’t breathe either.

In clarifying your change and your constants, you define your stretch while holding on to your keepers. You also couple your form and function without interruption (i.e. your on-going productivity and business of life), for balancing Change and Constants is simply a way you sort through the clutter of life, and focus on what’s important to you.

For instance, here on Talking Story you often read postings where I seem to question, dabble, and experiment: I especially love 90-day projects as a gift-boxing of my still-tentative change. When I wrap up those projects, I weave them into my Ho‘ohana Story somehow, for my constants are about Aloha (defined here), Ho‘ohana (worthwhile work), and ‘Ike loa (intentional learning). Over time, my keepers in the MWA culture became the 19 values in my book, and the 9 Key Concepts. The early sentences on my List of Wants moved into statements like the 10 Beliefs and Core 21.

If you pull out your list every time you do a Weekly Review, you can revise it with constantly freshened relevance. When something no longer sounds like a Burning Yes, just cross it off the list and add what does.

Trust me: If you can make this simple process your new habit, your desired workplace culture will be steadily revealed to you. And remember…  You are Your Habits, so Make ‘em Good!

Your Change + Your Constants = Your Culture:

  • Write it down: Gut-check list your wants as either Constants or Change.
  • Create your future: Allow that list to set your priorities, and be your values-based focus.
  • Make it happen: Review weekly to self-manage and self-lead, and
  • Feel good about it: You’ll get a good grip on your best energies.
  • Share it: The Workplace Culture you champion will be the great result.

So turn this affirmation into a poster you look at daily:

I’ll be Change, and I’ll be Constant. I’ll be the Culture of my Future.

Write it on a post-it and tape it on the mirror where you brush your teeth each morning, then Ho‘ohana — make it happen.

January Coaching: What are you really managing?

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I’ve a January, year-prepping exercise in journaling for you, one of my favorites in the executive coaching I’ve done for people. We’re still in the 1st week of the new year: Do this before the coming weekend is over and you’ll feel the Ka lā hiki ola goodness, I promise.
[MWA Ref: Ka lā hiki ola means “the dawning of a new day.” It’s the value of newness with hope.]

It’s a favorite exercise because it’s so useful. Writing this down will serve as a great point of reference for you in the coming months, for you can look back at it, remember your better intentions, and screw your head back on correctly if need be. When you’re done, keep it where you normally would review it during your quarterly, monthly, or weekly reviews.

If you don’t like writing and journaling, please keep reading” I’ll address that momentarily. And as a MWA vocabulary reminder: Managing is a verb. You needn’t be a manager-in-title to do this.

Write out your answers to these 3 questions:

1. What are you really managing? — as in right now, as a managing creature of habit. Journal your way to truthful clarity, and notice that I didn’t ask you who you’re managing, for that would simply be writing a list (“myself and my own behavior” goes on the top of that list, but you already knew that, right?) Write about WHAT you are managing, and why you feel you need to be involved in the process. The more detail the better (this project, that assignment, a nagging recurrence with” etc.), for the more you’ll learn about your current habits, and the productivity and accomplishment (versus busywork) you’ve been getting because of those habits.

2. What do you want to be managing instead? — again, not who, but what, just like with the first question, but in the spirit of exploring how you can light a fire under your own energies with more exciting work — work that fascinates and intrigues you. The key word in the question is WANT. Don’t limit yourself; ALL work can morph to being more worthwhile for somebody: Just because a certain job isn’t within your workplace isn’t reason enough that it can’t be. Maybe you’re the person who needs to author it there.

If you suspect these are Ho‘ohana questions, you’re right.

Not enthused about Writing?

I admit that I’ll continually try to convert you — start by simply carrying a small notebook with you and writing stuff down when you’re bored, or when you’re waiting in line somewhere. You’ll be amazed by the ideas you start to capture once your whining is over. I don’t mean to be negative; that’s just the way it usually happens, and private whining can be useful to you too, within reason. Better to be on paper than out loud.

That said (that I’m very stubborn about writing stuff down), very smart guy and Business Strategist Mike Wagner recently reminded me that not everyone is like me” a good half of the world prefers to talk their way to clarity (like Mike) instead of writing their way there. So if that’s you too, go for it. Self-talk is powerful stuff: Muses, Mentors and Self-Talk.

Better yet, do the exercise out loud in a conversation with someone you like and trust — you go first, and then you be a listener and sounding board for them. You know how much I believe in talking story!

The Third Question

Last, and only when you feel the first two answers are info-packed with clues for you… (sleeping on this is a great idea. Go back and read about Wayfinding for your Best Clues if you’re getting impatient).

3. What will you be managing in the near future? — Said another way, What will it take to make your wants happen? I don’t care what your boss, spouse, or anyone else may have planned for you, or even if you already said yes to it (you can change your mind and say no if you have to. Burn your boat.) What do YOU have to do to move from what you described in your answers to the first question, to what you described in the second one?

For me, this is definitely a wayfinding exercise, because in starting with that first question you are confronting your existing habits and being truthful about them. I guess you could say that your answers to the second question are your goals, but in my experience it’s been much more effective for those I’ve coached to think of them as wants; they’re more basic that way, visceral even. Wants are Aloha-instinctive, and more emotion-charged compared to how pragmatic and strategic goal-setting is, and so energies ramp up quicker that way (I hate the SMART acronym. There, I’ve said it. I hate it because it’s boring.)

Where I’ve usually been able to help my execs as their coach is simply to give them permission, and get them to believe their wants are okay. More than okay. Listening to, and acting on those wants is what’s really smart, and you have a brand new year ahead of you… take the leap.

Postscript: If this post title sounds familiar to you, I have written on this “What are you managing?” theme before, but it was a little different, and employed the 5 Whys… use those instead of SMART!