Remember Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman? It was that rare book I never finished reading. I even gave it away to someone else because I was so confident I never would finish reading it: Goleman’s writing style just didn’t connect with me. I’m sure Goleman didn’t feel the loss: There are a whopping 187 reviews for the book on Amazon.com, and he soon followed up with a second book, Working with Emotional Intelligence, and then Primal Leadership, Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence.
However I still take the liberty of using that phrase he coined all the time, because I do feel it is so insightful — our emotions are intelligent, and we are best advised to listen to them as a significant one of our instinctual inner voices. If nothing else, we need to question ourselves with some self-reflection on “why are you suddenly speaking up now?”
Before I read (okay, halfway read) Emotional Intelligence, one of the coaching phrases I was known to say, particularly with my women managers, was that “Guilt is the most worthless emotion there is.” I wanted them to dig deeper with the issue at hand, and not just wallow in guilt, for it can take you down rabbit trails and screw up your thinking in a way that just prolongs your stuck-ness. There is still merit in my worthless guilt phrase as a conversation starter in the coaching arena of, “Women, understand what your nurturing instincts really mean”, however I rarely say that phrase nowadays, realizing that no emotion is totally worthless.
Well, there’s a new gender-free guilt on the scene: Blogging guilt.