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“My parents don’t know that I know”

October 7, 2011 by Rosa Say

This is what scares me about current struggles in our world today:
It was posted on We are the 99%:

“My name is Allison, I’m a 13 year old 8th grader. I only get a few hours of sleep at night, but I don’t tell my parents because they don’t need to know that I need sleeping pills. I’ve been showing symptoms of Schizophrenia but we can’t afford for me to go see a doctor about it. My parents get really scared when they have to pay the morage because it really cuts down on our money. I’ve stopped eating alot so there’s more food for everyone else. My parents don’t know that I know we’re the 99%.”

The up side, is that when I get scared I just work harder, but with better focus on why I bother in the first place.

The Managers’ Kuleana

Those who have heard me speak know I make this point as often as I can about Kuleana, our profound responsibility as managers:

If the children of your employees believe that working imprisons their parents and makes them grumpy people, it’s your fault. Hold yourself accountable for that, and fix it. Those children are going to grow up, and be our workforce one day: What attitude do we want them to bring to the workplace with them?

I do what I do, and with the passion I have for it, because I was an exception to the rule and I know it. I was one of the truly lucky ones, not just lucky in the way Allison describes it above. What my parents illustrated for me, was that work was what they made it, and making it great was entirely possible. They did this in spite of the bosses they had, and they partnered with my teachers in demonstrating it for me.

Well, I wanted to be a boss; I wanted to be a manager. I knew we could do better, and be better, and support parents like mine. This, is essentially how Managing with Aloha came to be: My dream, is that all managers become the teaching boss my dad never had, but taught me was possible.

Here’s the drill in life:

Everyone has to work.
We work our way up what Maslow called our hierarchy of needs: We work for our basic sustenance to start, but hopefully we will progress, reach higher, and work our way through the other levels; through a sense of belonging, through self-esteem, and toward the stuff of self-actualization which makes legacy possible.

Jobs are what we have to do in the economic machine of society.
Work can be what we get to do in an inspired life (what we call the value of Ho‘ohana).

We managers shape working culture.
Managing with Aloha is a way we do that, and do it well. I believe it’s the best way, because to manage with the values rooted in Aloha, is to manage with your own humanity.
For what’s a culture? It’s a group of people with a common set of values and beliefs.

To “shape working culture” is to create an environment in the workplace which is ‘good’ in every definition of the word.
Good is healthy, and good begets more good.

The workplace environment is a contagion. It infects and thereby affects everything connected to it through the people within it: It affects their homes and their families, it affects the quality of their play and the rest in their sleep. It affects people individually and on a very personal level, and it thereby affects entire communities and their attitudes, whether that be their despair, or their sense of hope.

Understand “the drill” and understand it well.
Then, understand this:

Alaka‘i Managers help the human race

You don’t get to be a manager, and a truly great person, unless that is who you choose to be.
You don’t get to be a manager, and a truly great person, unless you work on it intentionally every single day.
You don’t get to be a manager, and a truly great person, unless you accept personal accountability for The Manager’s Kuleana, and can look into a child’s face and feel Pono, your rightness in our world.

On that pyramid, that hierarchy of human needs, I see rightness above Sense of Belonging and before you get to Self-Actualization: Rightness is personal, and it’s right there where Maslow put Self-Esteem.

We may have a long way to go before we get to Sense of Belonging for everyone.
We continue to work our way there, knowing we have to: Quitting, or opting out, are not included in our viable options.

However Sense of Belonging doesn’t cut it; it’s not enough.
Just ask Allison.

Value Alignment for Projects

January 3, 2011 by Rosa Say

I’d like to add some thoughts to this bit from Value Alignment 2011:

“Teams I have coached in the past have found great success in assigning values as the steering for specific projects.”

[Reference: It was within the Take 5 shared on how to start a Value of the Month program for your work team.]

As you read this post, do so within the following framework, keeping our vocabulary in mind:

  • Value Immersion — is about choosing the Value Your Month to Value Your Life program for your workplace team
  • Value Steering — is about using values to shape and guide specific project work
  • Both fall under the Managing with Aloha Key Concept of Value Alignment [Key 3]

First, Value Immersion

The most effective ‘Value Your Month to Value Your Life’ programs I’ve seen in workplaces, succeed because they go for value immersion. For example, if Kuleana is the value for the month, they look at everything happening during that month through the lens of Kuleana-colored glasses, with the intention of tweaking processes for more value alignment. People put their hand up to work on what comes up. Bosses give the green light to stretch inter-departmentally, encouraging those conversations, and knowing a welcome mat will be in place because the value has been adopted everywhere, even if temporarily.

“Everything happening” means you’re nalu-ing it: You’re going with the flow as events and activities naturally happen because of past habit or current developments, and what you’re “tweaking” is largely your responses to all those things inclusively. As you do so, you tackle everything that Kuleana affects (returning to our example) as the value of responsibility and accountability. For instance Kuleana is a tremendous help as criteria, filter, and priority-sorter when selected during times of company change, because responsibility is very much like motivation: it’s personal and self-driven.

What Value Immersion tackles best is apathy and complacency, for it uncovers the three workplace sins of auto-pilot, lies of omission, and tacit approval.

Stop for a moment here, and glance over your calendar for the coming week: Make this personally relevant.
Can you imagine the difference, if you deliberately took the time to ask yourself, “What about Kuleana? How would it affect this conversation?” …or meeting, or appointment, or new initiative… for every single thing now on your calendar.
Now what if everyone you worked with asked the same question at the same time? — and what if they reminded you when you forgot?

Your Projects, and Value Steering

Project work in Managing with Aloha is a little bit different than Value Immersion. In short, you’re framing issues, then pushing further into them and trying to do so completely. Project work should also be more creative and growth-inducing than tackling complacency and simply stirring the pot: Energies should be ramped up with idea generation and experimentation. You’re opting for Value Steering.

  • With Value Immersion, nothing is sacred, and everyone in the company adopts the value of the month, not just a project team (or focus group): You go All In so you can see how that value is currently interpreted, and how it plays out in different departments and divisions. You may even extend your reach to the customer. Thus all in-progress projects for the month seek the chosen value’s goodness in some way too.
  • However each project may initially have begun with different goals or expectations, and so the Value Immersion becomes an additional variable which will likely focus on individual behaviors as the project proceeds; it is not steering the project. In effect, the value will mostly tackle the how. As explained above, it will also focus on connections both inside and outside the project team.
  • In contrast, Value Steering for projects aligns the results of that project with the value; concentration is primarily focused on the what and why first, knowing that the how can be expected to follow once the project exploration and experimentation is over. The value you have chosen as your steersman is a big influencer, with pilot projects being the safest place that can happen.
  • Thus projects with Value Steering goes much further; the team works “short and deep” wanting to cover all their possibilities. From the very beginning, the project expectations are rooted in that particular value; that’s why we call it “value steering” versus “value immersion.”
  • A key advantage of both Value Immersion and Value Steering is that decisions get made much quicker, and with greater clarity because criteria parameters have selectively, purposely been narrowed. However this is also where your leadership makes your influence known (assuming you have led the charge to select the value in the first place.) The caveat therefore, is to choose the value carefully (and yes, deliberately.)

Perhaps most important, is the authorship shift when you employ Value Steering in projects: You have led (creating the energy resource), but you’ve effectively delegated too: The project team does the managing (executing = channeling the energy).

Granite Creek Park:  School District Art Project

Along the way (in both value immersion and value steering), so much will be rooted in the personal link to the value chosen.

Let’s look at Kuleana again, the value of responsibility and accountability: The responsibility a person has accepted for something is strongest when fulfilling the obligation connected to it satisfies their personal values. They take ownership for it easily, because they feel emotionally connected to it. When you are a responsible, loving parent, no one has to tell you to accept responsibility for your kids. When you love your job, no one has to tell you to take responsibility for doing it well.

Value immersion can start this process, and the very savvy Alaka‘i Manager will then assemble future project teams with those who feel the strongest connection to the value concerned: No convincing is needed, for they want to be involved, feeling emotionally invested in it.

Some wrap-up help on logistics

This post has already been longer than I intended it to be, but I don’t want it to be incomplete for you either. So here are some of my lessons learned on a) the Take 5 I had shared in Value Alignment 2011, and b) in timing when you use Value Steering for your Projects.

The Take 5 is largely the same, but in the project context we’ve just discussed:

  1. Choose the value carefully. Consider using the MWA values so you can open up thinking with a new Language of Intention [MWA Key 5]. Since my book dedicates a chapter per value it is really easy to distribute some reading for background.
  2. Vitally important to make your intentions clear. If you felt it necessary to get the blessing of some higher-up on the project, ask them to attend your kick-off meeting and voice their support in visionary terms (the why.) Concentrate on just the project scope (short and deep) and on expectations voiced with the value chosen.
  3. Third was “stick with it and go the distance.” You’ve done project work before, and you know the importance of this.
  4. Fourth was about communication. You’ll find more help in MWA in chapters 8 (Lōkahi) and 9 (Kākou) with this — not as more “value steering,” stick with just 1 value per project — but in regard to teams and communication, and for you as the project leader or facilitator.
  5. The offer in 5 still stands: Reach out to me, or to others in our Ho‘ohana Community anytime you have questions or need help — or you may want to reach outside the project team, but still inside the organization.

About timing. I’ve found that 6 weeks is more than enough time to dedicate to a project, even in large organizations; you don’t want to drag it out.

Week 1 – Select your project team, define scope clearly and set your expectations, commit to a specific calendar and make initial assignments.
[e.g. The Alaka‘i Manager is in start-up mode, coaching beginning well.]
Week 2 and 3 – The work of the project itself.
Week 4 – Pilot test-run (i.e. Execution without risk: final decisions haven’t been made yet.)
Week 5 – Evaluate the pilot and adjust. What will it take to Finish Well, with subsequent agreements?
Week 6 – Final decisions and business direction. Wow! campaign to get everyone on board.

If you can make this shorter, do. We never go beyond 4 weeks in my business entities, and we start by aiming for 2 weeks. The two parts you want to be generous with, are with giving enough time for team authorship (projects suck when all the team really does is carry out the boss’s orders) and with your communications campaign to get everyone excited and on board.

Have I got you thinking about your upcoming projects now? Great! If you have more reading time (or want to come back to this) here is some related reading from the archives:

  1. Where Planning Ends and Projects Begin
  2. Start a WOW! Project at Work
  3. Leading encourages Making. Embrace the Mess

Value Alignment for 2011

January 1, 2011 by Rosa Say

A question came up in one of your email responses to my wayfinding post yesterday;

“No monthly values for 2011 Rosa? Now that you’re blogging again, will your ‘Value Your Month to Value Your Life’ program return too?”

I’ll share my answer here on Talking Story too just in case others are wondering.

Yes and no”
Yes, I’ll be blogging here again. I’ve missed it a lot — and I’ve missed all of you! Writing is one of those ‘better habits’ in my wayfinding intentions, and blogging figures prominently in the writing I eagerly am choosing to do.

No, my ‘Value Your Month to Value Your Life’ program will not be resurrected in 2011, at least not in the same way as before — but don’t let that stop any of you! Adopt and adapt the program for your own work team: Getting started is easy. Here’s the Take 5:

  1. There are 19 values covered in Managing with Aloha, including Ka lā hiki ola in the Epilogue. Choose the 12 you feel would benefit your work team most in the coming year, and assign them to the months you think they will align with best seasonally, or per the demands of your business. For narrower, but more extensive focus, choose just 4 — 1 per quarter.
  2. Then very important, make your intentions known to your team. Get everyone involved in some way. Tell them why you want to “value the month” and ask them how they’d like to participate. Say yes to every idea which comes up and ask people to be that idea’s leader: As the Alaka‘i Manager you’re facilitating this, and you can’t do it all (nor should you” grow your team.) Teams I have coached in the past have found great success in assigning values as the steering for specific projects. (More on that tomorrow: now posted ~ Value Alignment for Projects)
  3. Stick with it, and go the distance. Use that value to theme everything you can think of within that alignment period of time you’ve chosen. EVERYTHING. You’re going for value immersion. You’ll be surprised how much you can do. Here is a good article Joanna Young wrote for Joyful Jubilant Learning on Why I Write to a Theme.
  4. Be sure to incorporate the value you choose into your language, for it’s powerful (Review Key Concept 5; Language of Intention). You’ll start to hear where you’re effective, and you’ll miss hearing where you aren’t, and need to engage more.
  5. Reach out to me, or to others in our Ho‘ohana Community (link to our LinkedIn Group) anytime you have questions or need help, especially when you feel energies waning, for remember: Leading is about generating energy as your greatest resource, and Managing is about channeling it. (Review: 3 Ways Managers Create Energetic Workplaces.)

Value alignment is the best ‘channeler’ I know of! Which, continuing on, brings me to another Yes”

Yes, I’ll be working on value alignment too! Try and stop me” As our 3rd Key Concept for Managing with Aloha I’m on automatic pilot with it in my life, and that’s a habit which has been a really, really great thing. Each year I challenge myself to evolve with it though, and so in 2011 my value alignment will set sail in the spirit of the wayfinding I wrote of yesterday. We’ll see where the journey takes us!

Two of my “best clues” (a reference to yesterday’s post, if you missed it) are Abundance and Context.

  • Abundance is connected to (aligned with!) Palena ‘ole — our MWA 9th Key Concept of Unlimited Capacity. One of the reasons I no longer choose only 12 values for my blog-writing is that they can be too limiting in my contexts here — opposite of how they will give a specific work team laser-like focus in the Take 5 above. Yesterday for example, we aligned wayfinding with three different values; Ka lā hiki ola, Ho‘ohanohano, and Alaka‘i. When I dig deeper, I can surely align wayfinding with every value in some way, and so can you; sometimes minimally, sometimes significantly, and then
  • Context moves me toward choice and action. Thinking about all of this can be mind-blowing, but you don’t want it drive you crazy either! So take aim and pull the trigger… Within all the Palena ‘ole/9th Key thinking you did, what will you take action on quickest and best? Why, and with who? You will become more decisive, and your value alignment will be directed toward the specific relationships or projects you have in mind. Practical and useful.

So consider the possibilities with value alignment, then choose your best habit this year, and take action.

How will value alignment work for you in 2011?

Go back to yesterday’s post if it helps: Do you already have clarity on specific goals, or is the wayfinding more attractive to you too? Your answer is the right answer.

A Hula Honeys Makeover

More value alignment; I Aloha-tweaked my cigar box of index cards I use as a perpetual calendar as my New Years Eve day project yesterday :)
Visuals alone can add so much, and index cards rock.

Postscript: If you are reading this via RSS or email, take a moment to click in and review the right-side column of the blog. I have a bit of updating I still need to do there, but I’ll be sure to leave the links parked there for you to find the 9 Key Concepts easily each time you return. You’ll see the value index links there too.

Postscript 2: I had the link for my free ebook on becoming an Alaka‘i Manager in the Take 5 above, but then I decided to drop it down here, for I don’t want you to feel you have to go through that whole 5-week program first and not start NOW with your value alignment. Go for it!

Let’s Leap over the Leadership Hurdle

December 22, 2009 by Rosa Say for Say “Alaka‘i”

Leading is an energy-creating “verb x30” which Alaka‘i Managers commit to:
How are you leading today?

‘Leadership’ is supposed to be a good thing, right?
So why is it such a formidable hurdle for us so often?

Or maybe a better question is, why must we wait for their permission, or their problem-solving, whomever “they” happen to be?

I’ve been thinking about how utterly dependent many of us can be on those in “leadership positions.” We wait for others to make decisions for us, or move to game-changing actions instead of seizing that action ourselves.

I am thinking about this dependence a lot lately, for unfortunately, there are a ton of examples to watch and I can’t not think about it.

For example, think about our Friday Furloughs here in Hawai‘i education. Why is it that so many schools (and parents) wait for the governor, the legislature, or the teacher’s union to solve the problem of getting our keiki back in school, instead of demanding more at-the-school changes by principals and at-each-location administrators? Seems to me our academic business models have been broken for a while now, begging some kind of reinvention… Why was a prolonged recession draining state and county coffers necessary for us to see it? Did school administrators actually think it was not their job to run as lean as possible all the time? In years past, did they channel any extra money in good times toward the competitive edges of learning, instead of fattening foundational basics (from which we now bleed)?

Lead is a verb we ALL can take action with

At the core of most “not my Kuleana [reponsibility]” issues associated with leadership, is the faulty thinking that only those in so-called “leadership positions” can make the big decisions or major changes which are necessary to make a real difference.

That is simply not true, and the rest of us cannot give away our power so submissively. It’s downright foolish to do so. Sticking with the Friday Furlough example, we are all discovering that waiting for our perceived leaders is very inefficient – if it works at all (and in this case, it isn’t working” our legislators and school administrators are not getting our children back in school, are they.)

If you are a perceived ‘Leader’ don’t be a martyr

In other words, get us to solve our own problems, and don’t do it for us, for you aren’t helping. You are not making us stronger or better, you are enabling our weaknesses.

Please, take our Alaka‘i definition of ‘leading’ to heart, and get the rest of us to share in it with you: Do your part with boosting us over this hurdle of not forging our own destiny by means of solving our own problems. Hold the right people accountable: It makes them stronger and better. Lead to help create the energy they can continually tap into and flourish with.

Sharing your leadership permission with others could be the best Christmas gift you give them.

What is true leading all about? From the archives:

3 Ways Managers Create Energetic Workplaces

Our Say “Alaka‘i” vocabulary is worth repeating:

  • LEADERSHIP is the workplace discipline of creating energy connected to a meaningful vision.
  • MANAGEMENT is the workplace discipline of channeling that mission-critical energy into optimal production and usefulness.

Great managers cannot channel good energies they are unaware of, or energy which doesn’t exist. And remember ”“ you can’t shift this responsibility to someone else within our discussions here: Alaka‘i managers are those who both manage and lead. We refer to management and leadership as disciplines, not as separate roles, titles, or positions on an org. chart. If a designated leader is not creating energy, then the buck stops with you. Make it your Alaka‘i Kuleana.

Photo credit: Cardinal Health picnic by Lisa Brewster on Flickr

sayalakai_rosasay My mana‘o [The Backstory of this posting]
Each Tuesday I write a leadership posting for Say “Alaka‘i” at Hawai‘i’s newspaper The Honolulu Advertiser. Here is the link to the original article there: Let’s Leap over the Leadership Hurdle.

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