Talking Story

Starting new conversations in the workplace!

Bring Hawai‘i to the Workplace by ‘Talking Story’

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Last time we talked a little bit about recession-proofing our Aloha Spirit, doing our personal best with making sure we add optimistic voices to the sound waves which surround us. It’s something we can do a hundred times or more each day, for we communicate with each other almost constantly. We all have a fabulous tool readily accessible to us, one which doesn’t cost a dime more in expenditure no matter what business you might be in: Our words, and the way we string them together to be more positive, and less negative. More possibility thinking; less doom and gloom.

Let’s explore the thought even further, looking at who we are, and at our Sense of Place. There is a way we speak with each other which we largely take for granted. ‘Talking story’ is something we think of as local to Hawai‘i as the Aloha Spirit, and our using it as a concrete, foundational business strategy is long overdue. ‘Talking story’ can very easily be adapted as Business Communications 101, local style —for it works.

Our talk, and our stories

6. Talking Story Grows Up
‘Talking story’ might be just as important to our Hawai‘i communities as is ‘sense of place’ and our cultural values of Aloha. We have a way of communicating with each other that is an exceptionally positive expectation, unspoken yet pervasive in our islands, and that expectation is this: Create a good relationship first, and do your business transaction second (even those ‘business of life’ transactions) and then that transaction will be good too.

When talking story grows up and really, truly comes to the workplace with us, we will enjoy another kind of evolution, one in the way we communicate with each other and create a larger verbal asset. Our ancestors had a great word for this: They called this ‘asset’ the mo‘ōlelo. Can you imagine how little we would know about our heritage today without it? What is the mo‘ōlelo we have stopped creating for Hawai‘i’s future generations?

From: The Top 7 Business Themes on my 2009 Wish List

It sounds almost silly trying to even explain it: ‘talking story’ is a local expression meaning exactly what it sounds like; talking through stuff to get the whole story told —or created! It’s taking the talking-out-loud time to be more than understood; it’s taking the listening-to-the-whole story time to genuinely care about what someone may be trying to express to you. And there’s more”

Eh! No hold back!

When you talk story there is the expectation that you will offer your opinion too, and it will have been one that was carefully considered. In the very least, it will be offered to empathize with the story teller who has drawn you into their confidence, fully willing to give you all the juicy details of their story, leaving nothing out.

So tell me: Why don’t we do more of that at work too? Not just as small-talk when we’re having our coffee or when winding up our lunch hours, but as the way we communicate about the work itself? Why don’t we add the whole story to our talking out loud, and “eh, no hold back!”

Despite all the time we spend in the workplace, most people don’t get past small-talk chatting, politically-correct banter and unproductive silences. We don’t talk to each other enough about the important stuff that counts —the stuff that can give us the best work/life stories possible.

What if we were to bring the water cooler spirit with us throughout our entire work day? Talking story is much more effective than we give it credit for being. Conversation creates energy, makes your ideas happen, and gets your relationships to bloom and thrive.

The expectancy: Positive and personal

At its purest form, to talk story is to shoot the breeze with someone because you have some laid-back, easy-going, relaxing time to do nothing but swap stories with each other about everything that is personal but light and joyful with you. You talk with someone like you have known them forever; you are direct and to the point, no posturing or pretense, and asking questions freely, but never crossing that line of intimacy that even the best of friends would never cross without invitation. You don’t need much context in way of introduction; you just jump in and talk to someone just because they are there smiling at you, and you have this positive expectancy that Aloha lives and breathes within them. What more do you need to know?

There is so much in life that is happily light-hearted, and that’s what talking story celebrates. The less serious the better; talking story is best when there is tons of smiling, laughter and kidding around about stuff that is pure nonsense. You laugh with each other, and at the silliness and yes, even the stupidity of life. Then, when the talking story is over, it is over. Goodbyes are said with hugs and Aloha. No promises made, no commitments to be honored, no follow-up calendared (unless it’s for a party somewhere) —you just go merrily on your way again as carefree as a mynah bird.

There’s a little of this in the workplace; let’s get more!

Right now, talking story at work is a kind of a warm-up exercise that opens people up for when they need to roll up their sleeves and get into more serious matters. However you don’t get into those serious matters of work that will surely mix personal and professional into a people-pungent stew-and-rice mixed plate (come on now, it’s to be expected after all), unless you have a talking story relationship with all those people first, one that has been built on Aloha, on trust, and on mutual respect.

Am I suggesting that part change? No, not at all. That’s the part that we want to keep: Relationship first, built on aloha as a foundation, and then further fortified by whatever values are most important to a company’s organizational culture.

So create that relationship! If you are a manager, make it okay for everyone to do so. If you feel you need to talk about groundrules do so —let that be the first talk story you have!

Think about it. What if everyone in your business began to think of ‘talking story’ as the way to dramatically improve workplace communication in 2009 as a deliberate business strategy based on the Aloha Spirit and our fabulous localness? How could it change things where you work?

~ Originally published on Say “Alaka‘i” ~
Bring Hawai‘i to the Workplace by ‘Talking Story’

Want different? Be a Squeaky Wheel

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You’ve heard that saying, haven’t you? The one that goes, “it’s the squeaky wheel which gets the grease.” It can be said in a not-too-favorable manner, when we refer to others who are whiners and complainers, or those who are the loud and verbal ones, always seeming to crave more attention than what normally is thought of as reasonable to the rest of us.

How about if we get squeaking to be a good, positive thing ”“ more like squeaky clean and crystal clear. Put any other negative connotations aside, and think about adopting wheel squeaking as one of your new attention-grabbing strategies, intended to bring feel-good stories and better ideas to the light of day, getting them to be better seen and heard. Squeak to share an optimistic outlook. Squeak to improve workplace health. Squeak to improve community health.

You see, “It’s the squeaky wheel which gets the grease” also happens to be true way more often than not: It’s a truism you can be taking better advantage of.

Why? Well-greased wheels are those which get the most immediate results.

Fact is, squeaking gets heard

The recession we are in is turning into what I think of as ‘the R word.’ Yes, it is very real, and very distressing. However people are getting very tired of hearing and talking about it. There is a sentiment which pops up in my telephone conversations and coaching sessions with nearly daily frequency, which goes something like this:

“We keep hearing that things are going to get far worse before they get better; how are we supposed to recession-proof our spirit when all we hear on the news and in the media is more doom and gloom? How will we ever get consumer confidence back when our pessimism consistently turns anyone with an extra dollar to spend into a newly-frugal hoarder? There are silver linings; there is some good news about great things which are happening too; why don’t we hear more about those things?”

I think it’s a valid concern. Overbearing amounts of negative news is a real downer, and I prefer having a more positive expectancy of the future too. My question however, is this: Are you speaking up, and making your voice heard, so those who give us “the news and [what we hear] in the media” hear your ‘squeaking’ and give you some grease?

I have yet to meet anyone who is a great mind reader, even when we think that something is “so totally obvious.” Chances are that what you might think of as obvious isn’t squeaking loudly enough for anyone to notice.

And the grease? It’s attention

I must say that I feel for journalists and news reporters; they are just as busy as the rest of us, doing all they can to keep up —and keep afloat. They are in the unfortunate position of playing defense, responding to the loudest squeaks more than having the time and luxury of doing comprehensive, uncover-every-angle investigative reporting. They are getting their labor dollars trimmed too, and traditional newspapers in particular are wondering if they will have any future at all. They respond to the squeaks they hear with greatest frequency, and most of them right now happen to be R-word negatives.

As a blogger, I can empathize with the frustration that comes from rarely hearing from those in your audience you truly wish would speak up for a change: I get tired of deleting all the comments from spammers and trolls hiding behind pen names, yet I make sure I review them carefully to be sure some valid comment from a concerned reader has not gotten lost in the shuffle. Problem is, shared opinions are much more infrequent, whether in agreement or contrary to mine; there are rarely healthy debates, positive suggestions ”“ or even the request for me to report more positive news.

Said another way, I cannot ‘hear’ what you might be thinking, and are not brave enough to speak up and actually say. And if you don’t give me feedback on what you want me to write about, I do my own thing, assuming that what you might want just isn’t that important to you as my agenda is to me.

Attention is paid so the squeaking stops —or to champion it! Then, attention gets shifted to where new squeaking has cropped up somewhere else. If you don’t ‘squeak’ and let me hear from you, you will not get my attention. I’m guessing that all the other people who deliver the news to you are in the same boat I’m in. Quiet non-responsiveness happens here on the blog, it happens in other media, it happens in your workplace, and it happens around your dinner table at home. I’d bet there are a lot of people who would love to hear you speak up; they’d love to reciprocate, and bounce their ideas off you too.

So start squeaking

If you want different in your world, and getting the ‘different’ doesn’t seem to be in your sphere of influence alone, say so. Get the attention of other influencers you want in your corner. Speak up. Use that voice you have, putting it to good use. Share your positive outlook and tell us about your ideas (I know you have them). Get your positive, good-news squeaks to drown out the negatives which come from all the Bad News Bears.

You can team up, and don’t have to go it alone. As some very savvy person observed, “the caveman who invented the wheel was pretty smart, but the one who put four of them together was brilliant.”

Small squeaks are things like private emails and telephone conversations: Small audience, small result. Bigger squeaks commanding much more attention, are things like blog comments and conversations, letters to the editor, and best of all, getting your workplace to adopt community initiatives that are news-worthy. Bigger audience, bigger result.

And then there is the immensely squeaky new forum called social media. If you’ve read this far you are no stranger to the internet, to blogs, and very likely have heard of programs like LinkedIn and Twitter where you can systematically create your own virtual community of like-minded voices, who share your interests and want the same kind of change that you do. Your voice can become exponential, and globally supported.

So tell me, what exactly are you waiting for? What is holding you back?

Let’s talk about it, and get past any obstacles you perceive. Start squeaking, and let me hear from you.

On Thursday: Bring Hawai‘i to the Workplace by ‘Talking Story’

~ Originally published on Say “Alaka‘i” ~
Want different? Be a Squeaky Wheel.

Staying Positive in a Negative Workplace

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2010 Update: I made the decision to bring Say “Alaka‘i” here to Talking Story in late May of 2010 when the Honolulu Advertiser, where the blog previously appeared, was merged with the Star Bulletin (Read more at Say “Alaka‘i” is Returning to the Mothership).

Therefore, the post appearing below is a copy of the one which had originally appeared there on December 21, 2008, so we will be able to reference it in the future when the original url it had been published on is no more…

Hibiscus

Staying Positive in a Negative Workplace

Preface:
Welcome to Sunday Koa Kākou. Sunday is the day I answer questions you send to me. If you have a question connected to management and leadership, leave a comment here, or email me.

From the Say “Alaka‘i” mailbox:

How do I stay positive working in a place where most of the employees are so deeply negative? All people seem to talk about here is how much they hate their jobs. I was excited about getting this job, and I like the work itself, but the crew here makes things miserable.

Ouch.

I suppose I could come up with some tips for you with staying positive, but I am not convinced that is enough: It will be tough if you are still surrounded by so much negativity, and the root causes of it have to be dealt with.

My recommendation is that you put your manager to work, asking them to do what they must in providing you with a better (more positive) working environment. I know that may take some bravery, but you’re worth taking the risk, and surely this cannot continue for you as is!

If you feel that working with your managers will be too difficult, or that others there will ostracize you for it versus getting on board, or that the management team will not be effective enough in making the changes needed, you should get out and work somewhere else. Life is too short, and if you are a good employee and a positive person you will find something else worthy of you, even in this tough market we are in (for the cream still rises to the top).

No one should have to work in an environment similar to the one you describe, and I have to wonder why your managers and leaders are not doing something about it, unless they can’t see it as clearly as you do. Help open their eyes to it. Negativity is a cancer in the workplace and for any business. It will eventually have a damaging effect on virtually everything, and both internally and externally; I am sure your customers already sense it.

How will you know if your managers are up to the challenge?

The managers you now have will be able to help you if the work they most often do concerns people, workplace, mission, and vision as opposed to work that is heavily task related to the industry you are in.

Let’s look at those separately: I believe that managers have four primary responsibilities (and providing employees with a positive, healthy working environment has to do with the second one):

1. People: Managers concentrate on strengths and make weaknesses irrelevant.
Managers discover what strengths each of the people they manage possess. They then place people where they are called on to employ those strengths and capitalize on them, giving them the authority to completely own their responsibilities and perform brilliantly.

2. Place: Managers create great workplaces where people thrive.
Managers focus on creating an environment where rewarding work happens. They continually work to remove obstacles (such as negativity), barriers, and excuses, while adding the needed support, tools and resources. Great managers are the stewards of healthy organizational cultures.

3. Mission: Managers get the work to make perfect sense.
Managers connect the work to be done with the meaning why. They plan to succeed with a viable business model, so people always see realistic possibility, and they encourage people to work on the enterprise with them, not just within it.

4. Vision: Managers expect and promote the exceptional.
Great managers never settle for mediocrity; they champion excellence so people rise to the occasion. Managers lead too; they mentor and coach, harnessing energy and driving action. They foster sequential and consequential learning so people continue to grow.

Judge objectively: They may want to help you, but can’t

These four pursuits concerning people, place, mission and vision take time and effort, and managers cannot concentrate on them if they are pushing paper, manning desks, or stuck in other immobile or task-related work. You may need to give your manager some task-relief, helping them in order for them to help you.

Step back, and try using my 4-part responsibility checklist for managers as objectively as you can with judging the flexibility of the workplace you are in: Can you realistically work with your manager and your co-workers to change things for the better?

If the answer is no, please don’t be a victim or martyr and sacrifice the quality of your working life for a workplace that has little prospect of changing. Get out and into a healthier environment.