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Lead, Follow or Get out of the way

October 20, 2011 by Rosa Say

You have heard this phrase before, I’m sure. You may even have said it yourself, or at least thought it… I admit that I’ve said it, and thought it several times when a younger, more inexperienced manager (politics tends to push me into that thinking still… sigh).

I do try to catch myself now, and bite my lip if necessary! At work I go for even better: I will rephrase LFOGOOTW to give people a more welcoming “we” choice, to deliberately eliminate the GOOTW sarcasm. When I sense my team has reached a degree of clarity with an issue, I ask, “would you like to lead this one, or work within your followership?” genuinely feeling that both choices have merit, just different energies, and that each person can make each choice relative to the variables at hand.

Replace innuendo with Culture-building

I’m not the only one who feels that way; it’s in our culture. Our team has talked about followership enough to know that Following is NOT a Passive Activity. Following can often go the What/How way of the managing verb (as compared to the Why/When leading verb), a great thing.

As for “…or get out of the way,” that’s not one of our options. We can’t afford bench-warming (and nobody likes it).

The trick to timing the question of lead or follow, is one of sensing people are ready for action, and feeling we’ve talked about it quite enough — at least in that stage of the project. The “lead or follow?” question turns people loose when both choices have been established as good choices in a workplace culture. Neither has that cynical dig in it (“if not, get out of the way.”) which is very un-inclusive (i.e. un-Kākou).

join the QuEuE by Maldita la hora on Flickr
join the QuEuE by Maldita la hora on Flickr

However is that enough?

In Managing with Aloha cultures, we do go for the “and” instead of the “either/or.” LFOGOOTW is a good case in point with advocating the “and” embrace, for as Dan points out in the comments, “lead, follow, or get out of the way oversimplifies things a bit.”

I remember a wonderful comment from Stephanie when we had talked about the LFOGOOTW phrase within the value-mapping we’d been doing at MWA Coaching, with the value set of Alaka‘i, Kākou, and Lōkahi:

The more I read, the more apparent it becomes that for as long as I can remember, I have been looking for others to provide me with clear answers rather than developing them on my own. In fact, I am truly grateful to the gentleman who inspired [this conversation string on “Lead, Follow, or Get out of the way.”] since I often get stuck thinking about mantras as law.

So what does this have to do with leadership? For me, the lead or follow mentality seems limiting. Much like in partnerships, where only two people are involved, it’s about taking turns. In other words, it’s about being a team-player, just like you expressed [with the value of Lōkahi]. The best leaders understand this and know when to stand down.

In an environment where all members are respectful the leader rises to the occasion with ease. Nurturing an environment that enables every member to shine is not always easy, but that is certainly my goal.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with looking to others for help with answers; in fact, learning from their lessons is quite wise. And taking turns can help — don’t think it simplistic and dismiss it. We seldom work alone or in a vacuum, and collaborative and synergistic work is what great teams engage in and thrill to.

And I love what Steph had observed, that “In an environment where all members are respectful the leader rises to the occasion with ease.” The goal she had to nurture such an environment was outstanding — truly Kākou behavior with that Ho‘ohanohano demeanor of respect.

I think about it again today (thus this post) as I wonder what direction the nascent #Occupy movement will start to take.

“Rise to the occasion” with Lōkahi

How do we allow leaders to rise to the occasion with ease as Steph says, while we continue to shape our own more progressive and proactive behavior?

Let’s revisit the Lōkahi connection: Lōkahi is the value of collaboration, harmony and unity. The pairing of Kākou and Lōkahi are the MWA values of teamwork. They are the value-drivers of the followers that leaders dream of inspiring, and having on their team.

From Managing with Aloha, under a section heading called “the role of the individual” (hardcover page 107);

“Most of the Hawaiian values really speak to personal endeavors, and the concept that all starts from within you. We are responsible for our own attitudes, our own choices, our own happiness and our own success. While Lōkahi speaks to the behavior of people within a group, its core assumption is that the group’s effectiveness comes from the choices made by the individuals within it.”

“Lōkahi asks these questions: Are you a bystander or are you truly engaged? Does your reach include the entire team, and are you being cooperative? Do you seek to understand everyone’s opinion while sharing your own? Are you looking for mutually beneficial agreement or are you settling for negotiation or compromise? Do you understand the role of every person, and are you respectful of their participation and involvement? Are you fulfilling your own role and responsibility, so that you make the contribution that is expected of you? Are you supportive and positive?”

In other words, are you a team player? Will you be the best you can be on the team that your leader of choice champions? When called upon to do so, will you be able to take your turn leading too, building upon the involvement you have had all along?

Lasting movements (progress) requires clear, directional Change

In that conversation string I pulled Steph’s comment from, we’d reconvened to talk story about self-leadership in our value-mapping process. We spoke of how our leadership vocabulary could be sharpened, and thus strengthened as “Language of Intention” (MWA Key 5).

Then we asked each other, “What is self-leadership?” and tried to focus in on it in regard to effecting change. I recall it now (and looked up our conversation archive), because of all the dissatisfaction in current affairs — something’s got to give, and people say they want change: What will it be, and how will it happen?

Nothing changes until something shifts or moves. Self-leadership is what gets us to move.

Determination - Barrel Racing - Parada del Sol Rodeo
Determination - Barrel Racing - Parada del Sol Rodeo by Alan English on Flickr

For the most part, I like change because it is vibrant and alive; it defies stagnation. I say ‘for the most part’ because there are times for calm and for stillness, but those are times for the reflection which leads to rejuvenation, and for fortifying our energies for the next leaps of movement.

That’s because nothing changes until someONE shifts or moves.

That someone is the self-led, the person who chooses self-leadership first, so they need never depend on the leadership of another to free them from any stagnation or inertia; they do so for themselves. That someone may emerge to be the leader, or one of them, but for the time being they have their own work to do.

The person who chooses self-leadership as their first experience, can then empathize with the needs of others they will eventually ask to join in, or to follow their lead. Often they need not ask; it just happens because leadership is so attractive and compelling. It’s magnetic and contageous.

The self-leadership of the value of Alaka‘i is about strong, self-impelling initiative.

It is the ability to self-energize so you always have reserves to call upon when you need them.

It is the ability to self-motivate, for motivation is an inside-job: If we’re completely honest, we will admit that no one can motivate us; we must do so for ourselves.

Self-leadership is a quest for learning more about what is possible. Therefore, there is an impatience and sense of urgency about self-leadership, for those who quest know that something bigger and better exists to be discovered or created.

The self-led have the burning desire to be the one who will do that discovering or creating.

Is that the person you are, or the person you hope to be?

I do believe that at some point in everyone’s life, they can answer, “Yes.” As Steph helped us see, it becomes our turn.

Alaka‘i may not be the most consistently called-upon value that we choose when it comes to our personal values, but I do believe it may be one that we universally share much more than others. We each have it: It’s more a question of when we choose to invoke this value, and about which of our passions, and about whether that passion is one we champion or choose another leader for.

talkingstory_header_09

Postscript: You will notice that the 1st few comments below are from August of 2009: This is a refreshing and reframing of this post when originally published then. I am doing what I encourage you to do in workplace culture-building: Repeat what you stand for to keep your language of intention alive and well. Refresh it and reframe it when necessary, and you keep it Kākou too – not everyone will have heard it the first time (or will have retained it). If it is important, put it back on stage: Alaka‘i ABCs: What do you stand for?

So I invite you to weigh in again: Let’s talk story.

If you are newly joining us, Alaka‘i was subject of the posting before this one too: Alaka‘i Leadership, Chiefs and Indians. Sections include:

  • Leadership delivers an affirmation of our values
  • What do we do, when leadership fails us?
  • Alaka‘i Leadership is a concept of abundance

When it’s in the News, Alaka‘i Managers talk story

August 5, 2011 by Rosa Say

It’s easy to dismiss news media broadcasting today when you’re someone who feels connected to the wider net of the web, technology’s new apps, and social media. We consider newspapers and network television to be those old-school journalism Goliaths felled by our new-world Davids. They’ve lost a considerable amount of reach, and no longer track the pulse of our world — or do they?

Waiting Room Viewing

Broadcasting’s giants have lost market share and gotten smaller, but they still have pervasive influence. Fact is that millions of people still tune in to listen to what they say, and think about it, weighing in with their own opinions (and values). People will still reflect on the day’s news, and will often say, “Yeah” they’re talking about me, and about my life too.”

Those people thinking those thoughts are our people. Are we part of the discussion?

The current news of the day is a good example: Who among us is not talking about the U.S. debt ceiling debate (and what it means for us personally), continued joblessness (and what it means for us personally) and the huge drop in market confidence (and what it means for us personally)?

When big stories break in the news media, Alaka‘i Managers ask themselves, How is this relevant to my team, and to our working culture?

They also ask themselves, Should we be talking about this, and having more conversations in our own workplace on these issues?

More often than not, the answers are:

  • It certainly is relevant, and this is why”
    (filling in those reasons why are usually easy: Model Me This)
  • Talking about it can help, for helping each other is what we do!

If you are an Alaka‘i Manager, you are talking about financial health in your workplace culture right now. You know that we all need to talk, we all need to be heard, and we all need to make sense of all the profound change swirling around us. You are willing to be the person who is there in the fray, being there for your people, and making a difference by reaching out to help them. You are leading discussions, you are listening to what people have to say, and you are getting better connected to feeling exactly what they feel.

You are helping them help themselves.
You are helping them learn what they must learn (‘Ike loa).
You are helping them feel more confident about being part of your workplace, and your culture.
You are being ‘Ohana (as their family of wider community), and you are practicing Mālama — the care and stewardship of workplace assets, handled with compassion and Aloha.

In other words, you are Managing with Aloha.
You are Kākou-conversing in the “Language of We.”

For instance, in my ‘Ohana in Business, the water cooler talk today is about falling mortgage rates, and how more savings can be reaped from refinancing: If people can afford the points, residential loans are the best financing deals around! I want my people to keep their homes forever, keeping their property affordable: I never want to see them struggle with a foreclosure, or with paycheck-to-paycheck living beyond their means. Knowledge is power when market timing is illustrating smart moves to make.

So be the Alaka‘i Manager you are, and talk story.

Start with your ‘Ohana in Business (your business model) as the core topic you open discussion with — how is [your business/ their-your income revenue stream] affected by the U.S. debt crisis, by falling mortgage rates, by joblessness, by current consumer habits? Your people will weigh in, grateful to know you are aware and are concerned, and you will learn what you need to know most — about them and what they currently struggle with.

Financial literacy is ALWAYS a good, and highly relevant MWA initiative: Jump in and lead the discussion.

Choose your Values to Make your Decisions

April 1, 2010 by Rosa Say for Say “Alaka‘i”

2010 Update: I made the decision to bring Say “Alaka‘i” here to Talking Story in late May of 2010 when the Honolulu Advertiser, where the blog previously appeared, was merged with the Star Bulletin (Read more at Say “Alaka‘i” is Returning to the Mothership).

Therefore, the post appearing below is a copy of the one which had originally appeared there on April 1, 2010, so we will be able to reference it in the future when the original url it had been published on is no more…

Hibiscus

Choose your Values to Make your Decisions

How much of your decision-making is aligned with the personal values you hold dear?

For instance, many of the decisions every business person must make, directly result in them choosing their customers.

Make no mistake about this: How you conduct your business illustrates your choices with choosing your customers pretty clearly for all to see — OR it illustrates the fact that you are not choosing, taking all comers, and leaving your business community entirely to chance!

Choose your Audience, and you Choose your Customers

This requires some bravery [Koa, the Hawaiian Value of Courage], but you get more courageous about it when you do so because you stand by your values. We’re in tough times requiring shifts in your business model. Important questions need to be asked:

1. Are you willing to give your customer what they want?

2. How about when their values have shifted away from yours?

These questions came to mind for me after thinking about two blog posts written for The Honolulu Advertiser by Dave Shapiro at Volcanic Ash. In the first one, Stripping anonymity from the ‘Net, Dave talks about the alarming lack of civility and Aloha in the comments received on The Honolulu Advertiser, comparing its result to what has been achieved by The Wall Street Journal:

The [WSJ] article points some possible ways forward and is a thought-provoking read, but what mainly caught my attention were the comments (click the tab under the headline.)

There were 82 of them and they were mostly thoughtful, civil and on point — in other words, the opposite of the nasty, ill-mannered, threatening and often racist reader comments you see attached to stories in most U.S. papers including the Advertiser.

Color me jealous.

The main difference is that the WSJ, one of the few newspapers that charges for its content, bills its comment section as a “community,” with community rules that require that real names, civility and focus on the subject.

I’ve taken up this effort to stimulate improvement at The Honolulu Advertiser before, and was unsuccessful: My coaching was politely declined. While I can’t speak for what happens at the ‘paper’ itself, I can tell you that each blogger is left to moderate their own blog. I’m not as tolerant as most, for I don’t feel I have to “swallow the Internet’s culture of anonymity” as Dave phrases it: I feel I have a bigger responsibility to the stewardship of my own blog culture. When in doubt, I delete.

We have a positive expectancy here at Say “Alaka‘i:” Being positive is Hō‘imi: Looking for it. I cannot tout Aloha in most of what I write about and not honor it. I don’t concern myself with someone’s “right to free speech” if their version of ‘free speech’ is offensive to the dignity of Alaka‘i Managers we seek to serve, or disrespects our Ho‘ohana Community of readers here in any way.

It’s similar to the stewardship all Alaka‘i Managers are charged with in any organization (their Kuleana with Mālama Kākou): Whether within a big organization or smaller company, every manager creates his or own culture within the bigger picture. The company may specify the values you should uphold, but you’re the one who ultimately does so, or neglects to do so. A healthy culture is your managing and leading with Aloha responsibility within your workplace, and for your customers.

It’s paid off for me here on this blog. We don’t have a problem with nasty commenters — not to be confused with the thoughtful people who ask questions and will disagree with me, for we both learn from that honest discourse, and you’ll see that happen in the comment conversations here. My bigger problem is spam, and it’s getting to the point where I’m tempted to turn off comments altogether, and just field emails.

But Dave makes a good point about how an audience can influence a blogger’s writing, and as a published writer (whether blogger, author, or journalist) we have to think about just how much we are allowing our reading audience to influence us: When is feedback healthy, and when is it inhibiting, or even damaging? How can it remain mutually beneficial, and result in that synergy which creates new alternatives?

The answer is found in your personal values, and your courage with turning away those who choose not to uphold them as you groom a community which functions as your extended team. A rising tide lifts all boats!

Are we sharing news, education, or entertainment?

Your audience may determine your final product much more than you realize: What do YOU think you deliver?

Again, the answer may depend on upholding our own values.

Initially on his blog, Dave’s second article triggering my reflections also appeared in the Opinion section Monday as a column (where online the comments can be particularly brutal… I’m not going to link there: This link goes to his blog edition): Local TV news lacks serious reporting. In this one he laments the quality of “local TV news becoming more and more about technical glitz, fancy sets and personality, personality, personality.”

“If TV newsrooms can’t find enough news to cover, it’s only because so much experience has been lost in the market consolidation that they don’t know where to look anymore.”

Must say that I agree with him and the squandering of precious airtime saddens me: I don’t find much quality reporting in our Hawai‘i television news broadcasting anymore that I would define as “the news” and usually skip watching altogether. I question if some of it can be called entertainment at all (just as I do NOT consider snarky comments to be entertaining in the least.) Are the people on our local TV news working hard? They probably are, but their end result no longer is of much interest to me as a viewer, and so judging by results alone, I am not part of the audience they are choosing to serve.

Nowadays, I learn more on Twitter and from other bloggers. Case in point when a former journalist responded to one of my tweets sharing Dave’s article, helping me understand the full picture. She tweeted,

“It’s one of the reasons I retired” @sayalakai those who were seasoned TV news journalists were/are being asked to take 40-50% pay cuts, and were replaced with cute and cheap young ‘uns.”

[I’ve combined two of her 140-conventioned tweets into one.]

As I responded in briefer form on Twitter, every business must adjust when they find their revenues are drying up. Unfortunately, their choices aren’t always wise ones — or the follow-up isn’t completely handled. I suspect there is much talent to be groomed in those “cute and cheap young ‘uns” and when leaders hire cheaper they have to provide the management coaching it takes so that talent is groomed, and their products and services don’t suffer as a result.

As for the “seasoned news journalists” who were released or who chose to leave, they can now chart a new course, and shift the wealth of their experience into new initiatives. They now have their chance to lead, true to their values, and not follow the older game plan which in the long run, was not mutually beneficial.

Dave ends by saying,

“With Honolulu’s two daily newspapers about to consolidate, we’ll soon see a similar drastic contraction in print reporting beyond what has already occurred from layoffs and buyouts, and the void in the amount of news and information on public affairs available to Hawai‘i citizens is going to be striking.”

I hope he’s wrong, but I fear he could be right. We who write, will all have to answer the questions I have posed, and will have to look for more positive results. It requires courage, yes, and for many it requires far simpler decisions about maintaining their livelihood in the short term. In the longer term, it requires smarter business models.

My view is this: If we stick with who we are, as determined by the personal values we hold dear, those crucial choices we make about viable business models, and about audience converting to chosen customer, will be choices we make about the resulting relationships which influence our lives. You CAN choose who you serve, knowing that being true to who you are is how, when all is said and done, you serve others best.

Choose your values when you make your decisions, and you’ll choose well.

Ho‘ohiki: My promise to you

Here at Say “Alaka‘i” we’ll continue to honor our values of Aloha and Alaka‘i first and foremost. The subject matter I write of will continue to rely on all the values of Managing with Aloha (listed here: Choose Values), for I realize that is why I was asked to blog here in the first place.

Thank you for reading, and for the support you continue to give me.

We Ho‘omau (persist, and persevere) with the Calls to Action and Current Ho‘ohana you see on the blog’s right sidebar:

  • Values are the Bedrock of Hard Reality
  • For 2010, with Aloha
  • Reduce your Leadership to a Part-time Gig in 2010

The Great Reveal of Undercover Boss: Now what?

February 9, 2010 by Rosa Say for Say “Alaka‘i”

I won’t bury the lead on this. The great reveal of  Undercover Boss, which premiered on CBS after SuperBowl XLIV is this: Whatever the size of your company, there are layers between you and the truth you need to know about, layers which are smothering untapped energy in getting your best possible work done.

I doubt the premise of the show was much of a surprise to any manager anywhere. I could easily imagine all the heads nodding at their television screens, saying, “Welcome to my world.”

So what will the Alaka‘i manager do about that? You can have an Aloha approach to dealing with your layers (or your ‘bubble’ as President Obama refers to it) which is much better than resorting to going undercover. Sneaking around in your own company is not that great an idea for the reasons Jon Younger offered up on his Guest Insights for The Washington Post yesterday: Why “Undercover Boss” gets leadership all wrong. Younger wrote:

While popping the lonely-at-the-top bubble, “Undercover Boss” creates a much bigger one: creating a deeply suspicious work environment in which business leaders risk the confidence of employees in their leaders and colleagues. One of the most important jobs of the boss is to create a positive work ethic and a supportive work environment. The undercover boss does the reverse, establishing a culture you and I certainly wouldn’t want to work in.

The short term impact: good TV. Longer term: a big hit to teamwork, productivity and performance and, probably, the bottom line. Would you want to work in a place where you didn’t know whether your mate was a co-worker or a corporate spy? Had the boss simply visited with teams, or worked night shifts, or utilized an employee survey, he or she would have learned most of the same information without destroying trust.

A boss who misrepresents him or herself invites employees to misrepresent themselves, or perhaps misrepresent the company or its products and services to customers. Sneaky leadership authorizes sneaky behavior from others. What’s next? How long before unethical conduct is acceptable in other areas, such as sales overcharging customers just a little, or accounting cooking the books just a tad to see if anyone is paying attention? Two hour lunches – why not? The most likely consequence of managerial deceit is, well, a culture of deceit.

I have higher hopes for Undercover Boss. It did disappoint me in a couple of different ways, yet near the end of the show’s premiere I tweeted, “Happy to hear all the #undercoverboss chatter! Hope it gets workplaces buzzing, talking about things we assume can’t be done, when they can” and I meant it, for I prefer to think of the show as a conversation starter, and with that positive expectancy. As I will often write here, I don’t believe we talk story enough, allowing for the continued conversation which can truly matter, and that certainly proves true within the workplace.

And you will never convince me that a workplace which cannot improve in some way exists.

Undercover Boss IS another reality show, constructed for entertainment ‘value’ according to the judgement of those making that decision at CBS, so take it with a grain of salt if you watch it. Make that a big rock of cleansing Hawaiian salt, for next week’s preview clip highlighting “reindeer games” at Hooters’ has me very concerned, and stopping short of any “see it for yourself” recommendation one episode into it.

If you watch Undercover Boss, allow it to challenge you.

Walk your own gauntlet in doing better as an Alaka‘i manager accepting your Kuleana [your personal responsibility and accountability] for the health and well-being of your workplace culture.

I agree with the cautions Jon Younger well articulated in his article, and I add my voice to his in saying, don’t go undercover in your own company, for there is a better way.

So let’s talk about that, shall we?

What is the better way?

Start from the place of what your company values are, the ones you hold near and dear to your heart, knowing they define you —or you couldn’t work there, certainly not as a manager charged with demonstrating them, championing them, and upholding them to ever-higher standards!

For instance, in an ‘Ohana in Business ® as defined by the Managing with Aloha business model, we apply the values of

Kākou [inclusiveness and the language of “we”]
Ha‘aha‘a [humility as open-mindedness]
Mālama [caring within the stewardship of workplace assets]
and
Ho‘ohanohano [Aloha, dignity and respect to all people]

to any discussions that have to do with the way we communicate. We get these values to guide us and grow us.

In addition, the Daily 5 Minutes ® (D5M) is our adopted tool for ensuring that we talk about anything and everything, and as often as we need to: We commit to it, and we practice it daily: Two Gifts: Values and Conversation.  If they are ever done, our employee surveys are not anonymous, because they don’t have to be. Managers are responsible for ensuring that anonymity isn’t required in order for people to speak up without fear of repercussion: They foster a culture of open communication, with other tools in addition to the D5M used so healthy communication is practiced constantly and not left to chance.

Does our ‘Ohana in Business ® approach take a lot of work? Sure. That’s why managers matter.

That is, they matter when they courageously do the right work.

That can be the way you can watch future episodes of Undercover Boss: Reveal a manager’s right work. Have episodes of the show challenge you as the manager YOU are. Ask yourself the questions it triggers and be honest with your answers. What would you do if you were in the shoes of the managers portrayed in the show? Help your peers who co-manage with or alongside you, to see what they must see when blinders threaten the health of your workplace culture, and ask them to help you see better too.

If Undercover Boss can convince CEOs that the job of managing people at any level in a company must be a calling which serves human beings, I’ll be cheering for it.

Related posts in the archives:

  1. A quick review of the Role of the Manager the Alaka‘i way, and as a calling:
    Reduce your Leadership to a Part-time Gig in 2010
  2. How leadership and management are defined connected to energy in the workplace:
    3 Ways Managers Create Energetic Workplaces

Photo Credit: Natasha by The Real Darren Stone on Flickr

Cross-posted: This also appears on Say “Alaka‘i” at The Honolulu Advertiser today.

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