example

“Example has more followers than reason.”
~ Christian Nevell Bovee

It’s advice all managers hear, and will never question, for it sounds so sensible, so right. “Set a good example.”

However what most do, is tuck that advice away in the back of their mind without giving it enough consideration. We trust that we will remember it when a decision pops up that requires ethical and values-based thinking. But you know what happens? When those situations do arise, “Set a good example” gets pushed aside for “I have to show them what to do.” Big difference.

Imagine what might happen if we turned “Set a good example” into a deliberate strategy, a very personal, “all about me and my actions” Ho‘ohana strategy.

For instance, this is how marriage counselors have used it: They have turned “Set a good example.” into “Be the change you want in someone else; do the desired actions with them.” when one spouse will bemoan their partner’s bad habits, wishing for better ones. If you want them to commit to a better diet, you’re best advised to do the meal planning, shopping, and cooking together. If you want them to exercise, you’ll change your own workout routine for a new one, to better understand why they struggle in the start-up phase, and how you can support and encourage them similar to the encouragements you feel work best for you.

It’s a terrific approach for Alaka‘i Managers to take in the workplace. Set a good example by putting yourself in another’s shoes. Immerse yourself in their world to learn empathy, and solve workplace problems not as you normally would in your larger circle of influence, but as they would have to solve them if they had to do so totally on their own.

You will uncover their obstacles, and learn of their adversity. What you think is “another lame excuse” might be much a more valid roadblock than you realize. Where we usually get tripped up, is in starting from where we are instead of where they are.

Set a good example. If you can do it, you can bring others with you.

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That statement was one made within a team of seven I currently am coaching within a project management space. The more intimate a team gets as they work together, the more direct they can be, especially when they feel they are in a safe space. Honest, direct communication will usually turn out to be a good thing, I think.

And by the way, I did let them know I would be sharing this anonymously. Who said it, and to whom they said it really doesn’t matter: I share it because I’ll bet we all have felt the same thing within our own workplace at times without feeling we could come right out and voice our frustration.

For one thing, many of us have fallen into a habit of convenience with email: We hit “send” when we should be picking up the phone or having a face to face conversation with someone. Have this discussion with a group of people, and you discover your devil’s advocates in any bunch pretty quickly: They are eager to cite a litany of good reasons for when email can in fact be better.

Then there are those who will suggest more email etiquette, or specify new Rules of Engagement (I will admit I have tried that too).

However ultimately, I think the person who impatiently blurted out “‘I get a lot of email’ is your problem, not mine” on our project team was right. As with so many other things, the only behavior you can control is your own, and you have to set a better example.

Model the behavior you want others to repeat.

Lead, and refuse to follow.

If you want less email, send less.

If you want shorter emails, make yours shorter.

If you want priority lists or calls to action in emails, put them in the ones you send too.

If you don’t want email avoidance to happen, don’t you be doing it either.

If you want more phone calls on emailed subjects, pick up the phone and initiate the conversation.
Ditto if you want more face to face conversations.

If you no longer want hundreds of emails in your inbox, do something about it, but YOU do it. You will just get frustrated wishing and hoping for others to change their behavior to suit you: It probably ain’t gonna happen.

Tag this one self-leadership. As Mahatma Gandhi is constantly quoted for saying, “be the change you wish to see in your world.”

We really need to listen to him once and for all.

Photo credit: GMail Fail Whale on Flickr by anonymonk

Set a Good Example

“I get a lot of email” is your problem, not mine.