assumptions

Trump those Old Rules with Your Values

August 22, 2011 by Rosa Say

Preface: If you are an Alaka‘i Manager learning the 9 Key Concepts of Managing with Aloha, this posting deals with several of them:

MWA Key 3: Value Alignment
MWA Key 4: Role of the Manager
MWA Key 6: ‘Ohana in Business
MWA Key 7: Strengths Management
MWA Key 8: Sense of Place
MWA Key 9: Unlimited Capacity

Old Rules, your days are numbered!

I’ve been doing quite a bit of one-on-one coaching lately. People are reaching out for help as they encounter the new world of work, and I’m happy to help as I can.

We always start with them describing their ‘new world’ for me, and I’m consistently amazed by how many old rules remain in play, erecting these obstacles that people struggle to understand. Thus, most of the coaching I offer has to do with managing up, and building better relationships with the people they feel are in charge, and in control at their workplace.

Our goal is always positive movement forward: We want to forge a better workplace partnership for them, and more often than not, the boss-employee relationship is the one we address.

Old rules are dispensed by old-thinking managers. By worn out, tired managers. By lazy and careless managers, and managers who are stick-in-the-mud stuck.

Surely those managers are not you!

If you are a manager, please stop for a moment’s self-reflection: Are there any old rules you’ve allowed into your workplace culture just because they’re convenient, historical, or worse, because you haven’t updated, replacing them with one of your own value-based rules?

A healthy workplace culture isn’t created by rules. It’s fostered by the managers who map out that culture’s movement with relevant values (e-book link), and then allow common sense to rule.

An old rule is a sacred cow which keeps fattening itself up in your pasture, lazily eating your resources and tromping through your meadowland, even though it won’t reciprocate in any way, and won’t contribute to the worthy cause of your business. It’s not a dairy cow, it’s not a beef cow, it’s not the father or mother of a hopeful generation. It’s a costly, expensive drain on the character and health of a place — a scar on your sense of place.

Alaka‘i Managers know they simply can’t afford sacred cows. Not now, not ever.

Sometimes, old rules are self-inflicted. People assume they have to follow them, when in fact, they don’t. No one else notices (no manager cares enough), and people continue down the wrong path. It’s a path paved with frustration, and one road block after another.

Issues define problems. People define potential.

Here’s an example.

In most organizations large enough to have different divisions, there’s been a long-standing old rule that “we don’t transfer problems.” It started with good intentions (most rules do) connected to keeping buck-passing out of the workplace with the culture-driven, value-aligned encouragement to own your problems, confront them head on, and solve them in a way that completely ferreted out any deeply rooted causes. If a problem or issue started with your division, chances are you remain closest to it; your team is likely the best team to address it.

Here’s where that old rule went wrong: We didn’t keep it focused on issues. We applied it to people who didn’t fit in the team or boss-subordinate equation for some reason, and it became an unspoken HR rule everyone towed the line with: ‘Problem people’ weren’t ever transferred either — and more often than not, they can be, and should be as a strategy of optimal workforce development; abundant choice is one of the advantages of larger organizations!

Misjudged people have become our good people souring in poor places, feeling hopelessly stuck or stereotyped. They never had a chance with finding their right fit and new lease on life elsewhere in the company — they were ignored or put out to pasture with progressive discipline, and their true strengths were never revealed. Their managers were tacitly allowed to dismiss them.

It’s been tragic, and still is, the number of times someone representing a wealth of experience and future potential is named a “problem child” because their manager fails to create a powerful partnership with them, and no one else will give them a chance. We are seeing how this old rule turned assumption keeps fresh talent out of hiring as well, because of the chronic dysfunction in the referral process: We still see scarlet letters on applicant chests, and fail to question the other people who put them there.

Coaches like me do a lot of Ho‘ohanohano work with giving people their dignity back: We have to convince them they aren’t broken, that they are strong and worthy, and they do have the talent, skills, and knowledge someone in their world is just chomping at the bit for. We get them to own it and bring it as a golden partnership ready to happen, and happen quickly: We help them define these things with useful and relevant clarity, so they can apply them with a positive outlook and renewed sense of optimism.

And not just coaches like me. That’s what ALL Alaka‘i Managers do.

“People catch their own weaknesses.
Your job, is to catch and encourage their strengths,
and those strengths aren’t usually clear.”
— Failure isn’t cool. Neither is weakness

What other old rules are still roaming your workplace meadowland?

Question and freshen your rules constantly.

Rules can be good. For instance, I use them to clarify our managing and leading verbs, but if you use them, honor them in a Language of Intention. Be sure they’re YOUR rules and not assumptions you’ve allowed into the culture which were actually inherited from someone else’s intentions and values.

What is the Learning we managers will Curate?

June 8, 2010 by Rosa Say

When would it be learning as a value, and when would it be learning as a strategic initiative?
When might learning be systemic, and when might it be irrelevant?

That last question makes me gasp for air in posing it at all, it really does, but I am trying to be open-minded about this” I am trying to learn something by gathering all the humility I can, and dismissing any assumptions I should dismiss in being a better coach for managers as I aspire to be. I’m hoping to get your help with this, fervently believing as I do, that we learn best from other people.

When I introduced our current theme of learning curation on June 1st, one of the things I wrote was this:

We all know of the benefits to learning, and I don’t intend for this theme to be one where we repeat them and preach to the choir: Let’s actually get learning done in a much more satisfying and useful way: Let’s become LEARNING CURATORS.

Now I am wondering if I was wrong, and if we do need to talk about our what and why before going any further. Shall we get a bit more specific?

The backstory

Here’s how these questions came up. I listened to a podcast which featured Jason Fried, founder of 37signals, answering questions collected from readers of his company blog, Signal vs. Noise. He thoroughly surprised me with his answer to a reader who asked what his team does to learn. His response was,

“Um I don’t know what everyone does. Some people go to conferences, other people just pay attention and observe things. I think that’s the best way to learn, to just stay focused on your industry and see what everyone else is doing, and pay attention to the right news sources, and learn stuff that way and just try it out. That’s the best way to learn anything, just try it. Experiment with stuff.”

(Here is the link to the full podcast: The quote about is just after the 15-minute mark.)

Now 37signals is no small-time company (you can learn more about them here), and so his answer really floored me, so much so that one of the first questions to pop into my head was, “Whoa” am I some kind of learning snob?”

So many assumptions, and so few facts

Our theme of learning curation makes some notable assumptions, and I admit to the bias that they are more than assumptions; I think of them as givens fully aware that they stem from my personal value system. They include our Managing with Aloha beliefs that

Learning is essential to any work culture for a vast array of reasons. Learning is a response to very healthy curiosities and fascinations, and it strengthens us as a method of coming up with answers or options.
Paramount within those reasons that learning is essential, is the self-development of everyone within any work culture, for if people grow, the capacity and abilities of the business will grow with them, so that all goals and objectives can be better achieved.
By “grow” we really mean continually improve within a constant striving for excellence. Innovation gives businesses an edge, for successful businesses cannot afford complacency or mediocrity.
If managers are charged with fostering the self-development of their people (and to the MWA way of thinking, they are) they have a very basic responsibility (Kuleana) with promoting learning.
Learning curation becomes a thoughtful strategy, aimed at optimal, well-timed selection from a myriad of possibilities. We choose as will best suit the individual learner, we choose as will best suit our team dynamic, and we choose as will best suit our organization’s mission and vision.

But again, I fully admit that these are my assumptions as the person who authored “Managing with Aloha” as an operational workplace system. So what do you think?

I’ll state the questions one more time. Our context: You are the Alaka‘i Manager accepting the MWA charge to curate best-possible learning for your team.

When would you curate learning as a value, and when would you curate learning as a strategic initiative?

When might learning be systemic, and when might it be irrelevant?

And perhaps a third question: Would you be inclined to leave it up to the individual, as Jason Fried does?

Read the story behind the book: Imagine having a Thought Kit
Get your copy from the Kindle Store, or on Smashwords.com

It’s Okay Not to Know

September 24, 2009 by Rosa Say for Say “Alaka‘i”

We have an affliction running rampant in the workplace.
It is a misfortune called MKIA: Must Know It All.

MKIA is an assumption we burden others with; a symptom of our own self-righteous indignation. Once someone is in a position of any authority or expertise, we assume they are supposed to know absolutely everything there is to know ”“ everything and anything that could possibly be associated with their position.

When we stop to think about it, MKIA is really absurd. Yet we lay this unfair and unreasonable expectation on others constantly. Why?

“Well, he works there for crying out loud, he should have known.”

“She’s the boss; she should know: Why should I be the one to tell her?”

“Isn’t it his job to know these things, or at least know how to find out?”

“Why is she the one in charge if she can’t even answer my questions?”

“Why is this taking so long, you’d think they’d know what they’re doing by now!”

Let’s think about this a bit more.

Do we expect people to have fully arrived once they land a job? Do we really expect everyone to be an expert, completely qualified and experienced, and not needing to learn a single thing more? Of course not.

In fact, don’t you get even more upset when someone says they know something and they intentionally misrepresent themselves or try to fake it?

It’s okay not to know everything.

However it’s not okay to stop there. We’re expected to do something about our not knowing when it becomes important that we learn, and find out.

“I don’t know” is a Beginning, not an Ending

Managers, this is where you can make such a profound difference in both the workplace atmosphere and in the customer service you offer. Banish the MKIA affliction once and for all.

Here are 5 tips to start with. I don’t know, there may be more ways ”“ I’m still learning too ”“ but I do know these represent a great beginning!

1. Make it crystal clear that it’s okay not to know everything. Make ‘not knowing’ safe and be sure it is never embarrassing. Thank people for admitting to what they don’t know, explaining why it is the information YOU need to know so you can help, and get things to improve.

2. Model your own vulnerability in being able to say, “I don’t know, but I aim to learn, and find out!” Work on your approachability, and improve your listening skills. Self-protective walls will come down and people will openly tell you what they need to learn too.

3. Evangelize and celebrate continual learning. Don’t just say learning is valued, prove it. Demonstrate how learning starts with ‘not knowing’ as a highly desirable open-mindedness, a potential growth capacity eagerly waiting to be explored. Fill the workplace with easily accessible resources (remember that people are resources too).

4. Equip people with both the armor and aloha of professionalism. Work on this critical knowledge: What is it to be an expert in one’s position, and how does that happen? How do you handle yourself, and how do you handle the customer when you’re at the in-between place of still learning your expertise?

5. Get rid of ALL assumptions and seek clarity and intention. Mentor a workplace culture where people are constantly asking clarifying questions to be sure they are working on the right thing at the right time, and for the right reason. Graduate to “Why?” questions which will herald in reinvention and fresh ideas.

Go ahead, you can say it: “I don’t know.”

Now we’re getting somewhere!

Let’s talk story; I’d love to hear from you.

My mana‘o [The Backstory of this posting]
Each Thursday I write a management posting for Say “Alaka‘i” at The Honolulu Advertiser. The edition here on Talking Story is revised with internally directed links, and I can take a few more editorial liberties. One person — managers — will do both things; manage and lead. They are action verbs! Exploring them as separate postings helps us dig deep and get to the good stuff.

Photo Credits: “Expert” and “Expert (Outtakes)” by Pete Prodoehl on Flickr

Learn to Finish Conversations Well Redux

February 18, 2008 by Rosa Say

re ·dux (rÄ“-dÅks’) ~ adj.
Brought back; returned. Used post-positively

Here’s a new update of a posting which has served us exceptionally well over the years, earning its rightful place in our Talking Story toolbox.

Learn to Finish Conversations Well

We managers can get ourselves into far too many situations where we unwittingly set others up for disappointment and sabotage our own reputation.

We’ll talk about a specific cause in this posting: Conversations which have not received our full attention.

The good news, is that fixing this attention-deficit is pretty easy. Our awareness of how it happens solves more than half the battle.

The Land of Fuzzy Expectations is riddled with landmines

Here is how it normally occurs: We will tell one of our employees or peers that we’ll look into something, and we’ll even thank them sincerely for bringing issues to our attention, but then we end our conversation in an open-ended way which places us squarely in the Land of Fuzzy Expectations.

The Land of Fuzzy Expectations is a war zone of landmines just waiting for us to trigger their explosions. We step into this war zone when we end a conversation saying something like, “Okay, I understand. Thank you for letting me know; I’ll look into it.”

That statement is a potential landmine.

When you say, “I’ll look into it,” the person you’ve said it to will immediately refer to their last experience of your follow up with them. If that follow up has been hit or miss, they will walk away from you thinking, “Yeah right, I’ve heard that before. Why did I even bother talking to him?”

Perhaps you do take action pretty reliably, but how? Do you rely solely on your viewpoint, or existing expertise, or do you look for better answers? And what did that person expect would happen, exactly? Was it the same thing, or something else?

So how can you better defuse those landmines? Don’t seed them in the first place as poorly finished conversations.

A D5M Sidebar:
I encourage you to add The Daily Five Minutes ® described in Managing with Aloha (D5M for short) to your management toolbox because it creates more workplace conversations. And not just any conversations, but those which involve and engage your staff so much more than they are now! D5M conversations are on your staff’s agenda, and not yours, but you have them at a time convenient (and thus more welcomed) for you both.

Learn more here: The Daily Five Minutes

That answer is fairly simple and straight-forward, however most of us have to develop the logic of it into a good habit which serves us well.

Workplace assumptions are created in rapid-fire fashion

Unfortunately, they aren’t necessarily charitable assumptions, where we also assume the very best from people. We prefer to leave each other with clear expectations, and more helpful agreements.

Think about the last conversation you had with someone before reading this: Did you both walk away from each other with a clear understanding of who will do what about whatever you’ve just talked about — and when? Was there any chance that you just accepted a hand-off of the baton without even realizing you did?

Worse, had you already forgotten about it because of its “in passing” nature of workplace pressures?

When you’re a manager, most employees will assume you did accept their baton no matter how it was handed off, because a huge workplace assumption held pretty universally is that the buck stops with the manager — for everything you know about and even what you don’t! Employees normally assume it is your job to find out, more than it is their responsibility to tell you! If they did tell you, well, that’s above and beyond the call of duty for them. They feel they’re busy in their workplace foxholes while you’re out scouting” isn’t that what you do? Yeah, right.

A D5M Sidebar:
This is another reason you will love The Daily Five Minutes ®!
Among other benefits, one thing the D5M does for you, is create conversations wherein your employees begin to tell you everything you need to know. No more mind reading and no more extra scouting. Pretty sweet.

Safe sentences are not the answer either

Too often, managers use “safe” sentences so they don’t make promises they can’t keep. They’ll say things like, “thank you for letting me know,” or “that’s interesting, I wasn’t aware of that,” or “yes, I see what you mean” clueless to the possibility that they’ve given the other person the impression they now own the information necessary and will do something about it. But what? And do they own the issue, or do they think they’ve skirted it?

Skirting issues and playing it safe is for wimps. Great managers rise above those tactics because they seek to get stuff done. However, that doesn’t mean that they own everything they’ve been told either. They’re clear. They’re clear on what they will do, and what they will not do, and why.

You can’t fix everything, and you know that you can’t, but you also cannot assume that the person you’re talking to understands that too. As a conversation ends, if you aren’t clear on what you’ll do with your new tidbit of information, you could be giving an employee the impression you will fix it (whatever “it” is), especially when they’re assuming it is in your power to do so. After all, you are the manager, and isn’t that what managers do?

Maybe so, however great managers coach and mentor: They do work with their staff, they don’t necessarily do work for them. They work with employees to bring their strengths and talents to full employment, and they try to eliminate all the “I can’t” thinking and other obstacles which stand in the way of engaging performance and optimal productivity. They get employees to be part of solutions as much as possible, coaching their staff to participate in decision-making. Great managers facilitate way more than they expedite. They understand that the quickest way now is not always the fastest way for keeps, nor is it always the best way.

No more vague.

Say what you will do. Be more specific about the action you will take, and make the present conversation more comprehensive and useful. How will you take care of it? Talk about precise actions.

If an employee walks away from your conversation hearing something as vague as “I understand, I’ll give that some thought” you must understand that they are waiting for you to take action. The longer it takes for that action to happen ”“ or heaven help you, you forget about it, or hope the issue goes away on it’s own eventual resolution ”“ the more damaging the hit to your credibility and reputation as a manager who cares and effectively gets things done. The less you get things done, the less employees will talk you, thinking to themselves, “What’s the use?”

Finishing your conversations well is pretty simple; it means the follow up actions you will take aren’t vague; they’re clear, and they’re trustworthy.

When your agreements are trustworthy, so are you.

Finish your conversations well. All of them.

How? By coming to clear agreements on what your next actions are. In the best possible scenario, “your” means both of the people in the conversation.

Seek partnerships, and reach for collaboration in every conversation you have with these 5 steps. Now, you may be thinking, “5 steps for every conversation? How will I remember this?” however when you read through them you will see how straight-forward they are, and easy to practice. Create a habit that will soon stick with you naturally.

1— Clearly state what you plan on doing next with the information you’ve just been given, and if you expect or wish to have your partner participate and remain involved in some way. [In the Daily Five Minutes conversation, ‘next’ means as singular and specific as possible.] State what your next action will be, and don’t hesitate to ask for the next action they’ll take if they need your help suggesting one. Divide and conquer, thereby creating collaboration between you, and getting more done.

2 — ‘Asking’ is more than asking if they agree. Do they have a better idea? As the person who brought the agenda to the conversation in the first place, they often will; ask for more of their thoughts about it. If there’s a problem to be solved, they’re probably closer to the solution than you are.

Problem-solving needn’t be that complicated:

Figure out what’s wrong

Decide what you’re going to do about it

Take action, but specifically, take action to effect change.

What I’m proposing to you in this step, is that you both work on this together: No dumping. Collaborate to help each other out.3 — Last, set a specific time when you’ll have a follow up conversation to update each other. This is a great way to set a date for another Daily Five Minutes, but not necessarily, for remember that D5M is only one type of conversation; you’ll know when certain issues are better resolved in another forum.

4 — Before that date arrives, take the action you agreed to take. This should be easier since you already know what it will be, and have made an agreement connected to a specific action. Give your partner in the agreement a short and sweet update on what you’ve done; just a quick FYI, especially if they haven’t taken their agreed-upon action yet, and you want to encourage them to do so. This is sharing your Aloha, not nagging. Set people up for success: Do not be the war criminal hiding more land mines for other people!

5 — When you have your follow up conversation, speak of another helpful agreement at the same time: Work on the next step in the process until the issue has been completely taken care of.

This is how partnerships happen one conversation at a time, and in a very manageable way.

You’ll walk away with a new partnership, and you’ll be yet another step closer to being a great manager —and a great Aloha Workplace Coach!

Let’s make a Great Managers’ Conversation Agreement:

Our GOAL: No more vague. I will finish all my conversations with clear agreements.

Our MANTRA: Skirting issues and playing it safe is for wimps. Great managers most definitely are NOT wimps.