Talking Story

Starting new conversations in the workplace!

Hospitality: It feels like home

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When Rosa announced she was making Ho’okipa, the Hospitality of Complete Giving her theme for the month, I knew I had to get involved. After all, Rosa’s Ho’ikipa is why I love to hang out at Talking Story; Rosa shares her hospitality and makes her blog feel like her home.
Smallhdipanel

I thought first of organizations that don’t make me feel like home. The ones who, after I sign up and or give a donation, put me on their anonymous mailing list that they send out quarterly and otherwise don’t connect with me, unless they want more money or for me to volunteer for one of their fund raisers. Not very hospitable in my opinion, and thus they get very little of my time, talent and treasure, except for maybe once a year when I’m feeling generous (or is it obligated) and I send them a check for a few bucks to re-affirm my interest in being part of their “community,” which is a community in their minds only.

Then, I thought of the organizations I give up more too. They often have a personal cry for help, make real connections with me, and I know a few of the others in the group. Occasionally when I see my friends that are involved, we mention the group, their mission, if it’s still worth our time, and usually we agree it is, so I’ll go to a fundraiser and give a bit more of my talent, treasure, and time.

Lastly, I was thinking, are there any organizations that give me true hospitality? Are there any organizations where I feel like a part of the family, not just a community of givers? And I thought of 1 organization that I gladly give my time as often as I can, my talents, by speaking at their chapter events around the country even though I have to take a day off work to do so, and my money, as I usually barely cover expenses with my speaking engagements and often don’t ask to be reimbursed for all the expenses that are involved to be the local chapter president.

This amazing organization is HDI, leading IT service and support. As an IT Help Desk Manager, it could be very easy to get beat down and feel completely alone, as in each company, there’s usually at MOST 1 person holding the position I do, and some companies don’t even have a formal titled leader, they just have the team report up to some manager who, as part of his/her responsibilities, includes making sure all the metrics for the team are complete and that they’re squeezing all the value out of the desk that they can.

So how does HDI do it? How do they create a Ho’okipa with an organization of IT service and support professionals? I’ll share 4 great ways they do it for me:

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The Business End of Southern Hospitality

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Living in the South, the word "hospitality" gets used a lot. It is a badge of honor to be considered a good provider of "Southern Hospitality" in your home. This comes in the form of cold tea, hot biscuits, a good meal, and warm pie. You would never be rude to company – maybe family, but never company. A covered plate to take home would always be offered. Don’t mind about returning the plate – you can keep it.

Wonderful friendships are formed in these circumstances. Conversation is lively, trust is established, and support is made available. Children, while rowdy, are well mannered. Adults, while opinionated, are respectful.

These life lessons learned have translated beautifully into my everyday business practices.

  • My reputation as a real estate agent that conducts business with ho’okipa is my main priority. I consider it the greatest compliment for a client to say my service "must be that Southern Hospitality."
  • Respect for others is a necessity. Really can’t elaborate on that. It just is.
  • It is important to give the client "a little something extra." If you are in a profession like mine, you know that there are others out there that can do what you do. Why should a client chose to 1) do business with you 2) continue to business with or 3) refer you to others? Because you did something special to make them feel special. Scott Ginsberg does an excellent job of brainstorming some phenom ideas.
  • Your clients would like to get to know you. They want to know that you, likewise, are interested in them. Conversation is important – have it! Talk with your client, not at them. You will find that the entire relationship goes smoother because you have taken the time to truly understand them and build trust.
  • Everybody benefits from good manners. These are simple common practices that say, with actions, "I respect you."
  • We don’t have to agree with everyone, but there is a way not to disagree. My mom always taught us, "You can say whatever it is you want to say, as long as you remember who you are saying it to." Clients come to us for direction. Sometimes that requires some education on things that are being done wrong. Be honest, but you can be constructive within the spirit of ho’okipa.

Creating a business practice centered on ho’okipa is not only an effective way to grow your client roster, but it is a display of personal character – and the world would benefit from a little more of that.

About our Guest Author: April writes both My Beautiful Chaos and Making Life Work for You, a blog written for her real estate business. Her southern hospitality is very much in evidence on them both!

This is the second article that April has generously written for our Talking Story community forum on Ho‘okipa, the Hospitality of Complete Giving. Her first was called Dissecting Hospitality.

~ Rosa

Writer, reader, place: writing with ho’okipa

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My favourite topic is writing about writing, so when I got the invitation from Rosa to take part in the Talking Story series on ho’okipa I knew I had to make "writing with hospitality" my theme.

I started warming up in June with a post on how to make your readers feel at home, identifying some of the key features of hospitable writing such as:

  • pacing your readers’ experience
  • using signposts
  • plain, simple language
  • giving people enough space; and
  • being yourself.

As Rosa pointed out in her comments at the time, this last one is probably the most important, as it reflects and captures the spirit of aloha.

But I had a feeling at the back of my mind that writing with ho’okipa meant something just a little bit more than making your readers feel at home.  Like April I always like to start by exploring the meaning of a word. And I had learned from Rosa that the meaning of the Hawaiian values is multi-layered, multi-storied.  There is kaona behind the words (Rosa – I hope I have got this right…)

What else could I learn about writing with ho’okipa by digging a little bit deeper?

A good place to start was the wonderful exchange of writing, words and ideas at the Talking Story blog.  From other contributors and commenters this month I have deepened my understanding of ho’okipa to include:

  • respect for the dignity of other people
  • generosity
  • a sustaining environment
  • a warm and sincere greeting
  • anticipation and fulfillment of the needs of a guest
  • dialogue – the interaction between you and your guest
  • keeping your guest company
  • establishing a relationship
  • looking for the connections between you

Substitute ‘reader’ for ‘guest’ and I wonder if you can start to see the possibilities opening up to write with ho’okipa...?

As I kept looking for further insights into the meaning of ho’okipa I found an essay on the values behind the world-renowned Hawaiian practice of welcoming strangers to their land.  This made me realise that ho’okipa is about generosity towards others – but only from a position of respect for ourselves.

"Ho’okipa… teaches us to respect ourselves, to walk with dignity, and to honor the customs and traditions of our ethnic heritage – whatever it may be…"

I was reminded of what Rosa had said to me before.  The importance of being yourself when you write.  That hospitality comes from the inside out.  That the writer is just as important as the focus on the reader.  It’s a dialogue, a conversation, a relationship between you.

My last piece of research took me to another level again.  To a three-way relationship between host, guest and place.  I found this in a presentation and discussion on tourism in Hawaii (the wonders of the Internet!)  [If you want to explore, it’s the presentation marked  ‘Hawaiian hospitality behind the aloha’]

Again, it was the reminder that hospitality has to start with ourselves.  That ho’okipa is about knowing who you are and where you’ve come from.  And more than that it’s about respect and love for the place where you find yourselves.  That means creating a sense of  place: helping people to understand and love the place they are visiting, that sense of being at home. It’s about knowing (and loving) the place that you’ve come from.  And it’s about respecting and sustaining the environment that has brought us together, has brought us here.

I know, I know I’ve come a long way from how to write with ho’okipa… But I think the messages are transferable – because they come from the values that underpin it.  Writing with ho’okipa means writing with respect:

For your reader: anticipating their needs, using language that makes them feel at home,  signposting where you’re going, paying attention to detail, using positive language, writing with generosity

For you the writer: allowing your true voice to emerge, the permission to be yourself, writing in your own words, the confidence to tell your story from where you are and where you’ve come from

For the space between readers and writers: recognising the shared space that you create as a writer, the space that you invite your reader to join, and the space that changes, shifts, develops and grows from the dialogue, conversation, reflection, listening that happens within it; recognising the wider ripples that can spin out of your words and your shared understanding, taking responsibility for the impact in the wider space we inhabit – our community, our country, our networks, our world.

I’m going to finish with a beautiful picture that captures, for me, this sense of harmony between reader, writer and place… with a Hawaiian twist!  Many thanks Rosa for the chance to learn more about ho’okipa and to explore ways that we can build this into our writing, our reading, our world.

Harmonyplace

Guest Author: Joanna Young hails from Edinburgh, a place I am newly intent on visiting since I have come to know Joanna! She is the prolific author of both Coaching Wizardry and Confident Writing, and she truly loves to write for us; visit her often for the joy she weaves into every posting.
~Rosa

Dissecting Hospitality

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Hospitality

  • Hospitable treatment, reception, or disposition

Hospitable

  • Given to generous and cordial reception of guests
  • Promising or suggesting generous and cordial welcome
  • Offering a pleasant or sustaining environment
  • Readily Receptive
  • Open to new ideas

I love word definitions. This is a prime example.

Many businesses attempt to employ hospitality into their business model to increase client satisfaction and retention. However, few reach the level of Ho’okipa.  In order to achieve Ho’okipa, service providers must realize that hospitality is a group of traits versus a singular idea.

Given to generous and cordial reception of guests – Ho’okipa starts before the client enters the door – before they are even a client. It begins in our parking lot. It continues up our walkway. It proceeds through our door. It climaxes in our reception area. Generous and cordial reception.

Promising or suggesting generous and cordial welcome – Ho’okipa lives or dies with your front office staff.  Many times this area of business is the most overlooked, the least appreciated, and greatest under prepared. These folks set the tone for your clients entire visit. Generous and cordial welcome.

Offering a pleasant or sustaining environment – Ho’okipa breathes in your office. The comfort of the chairs will let your clients know you are glad they are there. The hangings on your wall will tell them you are inviting them to get to know you. The plaques offer assurance that you are dedicated to your mission. Sustaining environment.

Readily Receptive – Ho’okipa grows during your meeting. Your eye contact will instill trust. Your thoughtful questions will promote understanding. The active engagement of the the clients needs, wants, hopes, and dreams will build rapport. Readily Receptive.

Open to new ideas – Ho’okipa survives in respect. Clients know that they are individuals. They need us to realize it too. They come to work with us in creating game plans to achieve their idea of wonderful. They believe in us to assist them in forming their big ideas and realizing their big dreams. Open to new ideas.

Hospitality is an idea. Ho’okipa is a series of events. A manner of treatment. A dedication to excellence. Take a new look at an old practice with fresh eyes.

Guest Author: April Groves is one of the newest members of our Ho‘ohana Community, and you just gotta love her for being so willing to jump into the fray with us as she has! For more of April, visit her two blogs, My Beautiful Chaos and Making Life Work for You.

April, I must say that I loved this recent post of yours; A Blogging Theory I Disagree With ”“ keep doing it your way!

~ Rosa