Vital Friends & Family

Been traveling with family over the last week, thus the light posting. It’s been good.

Then today I had a 4-hour car trip (yes, you can do that on the Big Island of Hawai‘i!) and was able to listen to all of Tom Rath’s Vital Friends.

In one part of it he mentions the adage that “you can’t choose your family,” continuing with the suggestion that we can take our families for granted because of that narrow outlook; within their ranks may lurk some dynamite friends in the making that we’ve allowed to slip under our radar.

He’s so right. Time to do something about that.

3/10 Update: Post shout-out to the Ho‘ohana Community: If you have done a review of Vital Friends on your own blogs, please send me a trackback here, or drop your link in the comments — I would love to read your take on this book.


  1. says

    Vital Friends is a must read book. As someone who works in a “you can’t be friends with subordinates” workplace, I see the ramifications of this approach everyday. When managers and administrators are forced to sit in their ivory towers and not have contact with those below them, they quickly lose touch. Teams break down and workers end up doing as little as possible to get by.
    I preach your “Daily 5 minutes” mantra wherever I go. This simple form of communications is absolutely vital. Thanks for the reminder that our family can be our friends too. I need to make some much needed phone calls this weekend…

  2. says

    Aloha John, you know, I really underestimated this book. It was a quick listen because I already know so much about Gallup, however turns out that may be the reason that the few new points Rath made really stuck with me. I keep thinking about it more and more, and what you mention about friendships at work is one of the reasons why.
    I’m thrilled to know that the Daily Five Minutes is working for you, and thank you for spreading the good word.

  3. says

    Vital Friends, The People You Can’t Afford to Live Without

    As I mentioned to John Richardson, Tom Rath took me by surprise with his book, Vital Friends. I’m not sure why I had underestimated it, for I’m a huge fan of the Gallup Organization and the research they’ve conducted in

  4. donna says

    This is an interesting site. From 1959 – 1963 I lived w/ my parents outside of Pearl Harbor base, I went back last April and I was shocked because I couldn’t find anything of the 60’s, except for one thing, my monkey pod tree was still intact, as were many of the plants, the housing was gone, but my flora and fauna were still there in my neighborhood, who ever preserved that when they torn down housing thanks thanks thanks, although enclosed by a fence, 5th street even had a 5th street sign, I don’t know why this was not changed also, and also the arena as they called it was there, I heard Elvis 1/2 a block away from the arena, I located my schools but nothing buy my neighborhood was the same, of course I cried, all those houses, I couldn’t see any woodroses. There was no more CPO club, the secretary at Pearl Harbor Kai wouldn’t show me any archived pictures, but Holy Family Academy did, they were so nice to me. It’s hard to go back to your home when your parents are gone and you have no siblings, and I had no pictures from those years, if anyone had any pictures of the 60’s I sure would like to see them.

  5. says

    Aloha Donna,
    I’m glad you’ve found us, welcome to the Ho’ohana Community. I do hope someone responds to your shout-out for pictures! What about it, Hawai’i residents both past and present, can you help Donna?